A TRUE ACCOUNT: "The Evening of A Thousand Little Bugs With White Wings"

[Zovistograt]

EVERYTHING CONTAINED HEREIN ACTUALLY HAPPENED AND NOTHING IS MADE UP.


I was having a pleasant dinner at a local burger restaurant with my mother, my sister, and her husband (who we will name "Robert", to remain confidential), and we were just about to have a nice evening when we noticed there was something different about Robert's car from before we entered the restaurant.

"What are those little things?" asked my sister.  I studied the car more closely and discovered that what was different was the fact there were what must have been hundreds of tiny bugs that had some likeness to either a fly or a moth with stark-white wings, traversing the vehicle on all sides, and especially on the roof and back window.  We thought this was just a strange coincidence and the bugs would go away, but we were oh so wrong.

We pulled away from the parking spot and immediately became conscious of the same type of bug inside the car.  First two, then four, then ten of them. 

They were inside.

Even I frantically tried to kill them, which is strange because I never kill insects.  I suppose I felt deep down that I knew something was terribly wrong.  They were on our legs, our clothing.  Robert was trying to keep us entertained by joking that my sister had them on her head.  We laughed nervously and dreaded the worst, hoping the car ride would be over soon.

We stopped at a local supermarket to buy kitty litter and take a break from the accursed car.  When we exited the car, the swarm was still attached to the car and assaulted us with amazing force.  We fended them off as best we could, but the cloud of them expanded.  We started considering the possiblity of another epidemic like the one concerning Gypsy Moths a few decades back.  Robert took a long, slim box used for packaging of some cheap product bought at Target and started smashing the car randomly, desparately attempting to rid his mobile sanctuary of the demons.  We had to restrain him for fear of him damaging his own car, and we frisked each other to make sure the bugs were gone.  We went inside and bought Fresh Step.  It was not on sale.

Walking back to the car was like walking to your own execution.  The insects were still there, strong as ever.  On three, we ran into the car and closed the doors before the insects could enter.  Everybody by now just wanted these insects gone, so we had a noble idea: we will rid them by going through one of the most hostile environments in the area: a car wash.

We pulled up to the carwash.  It was in a bad area, the kind of place you would think twice about walking down the street in fancy clothes and a monocle.  To our despair, after seven PM they did not do interior cleaning.  We settled for the sweet $5 deal on an exterior wash and braced ourselves, for we feared they might come swarming in, since they seem to be able to move freely between the outside and inside, like some sort of demonic shapeshifting teleporting zombie goasts.  We joked nervously and waited for what seemed like ages.  When we got out, we did not take any chances.  Cracking the window slightly, Robert quickly gave the man a tip for taking special care of his damaged side mirror, and we sped off toward my house and the only possibly ensurance of our survival.

When we arrived, we were horrified to discover that a few of these terrors actually made it through the car wash and were writhing on the side, clinging to their lives.  Although most of them were gone or squished, we felt them all over our bodies.  At that moment we realized these weren't ordinary insects.  On their dying breaths, they have poisoned our minds and made us think they were all over us in droves.  I shuddered at the thought that psychological warfare was possible at the insect level.  We went inside, making absolutely sure there was not one on us...but still, we felt them.  They were everywhere but nowhere.  Imagined spectres, yet they felt so real.

After my sister and Robert left, I immediately cleansed myself by taking a shower.  It seems as though the psychological poison wore off, but I still fear that one of them may have entered our house and is plotting a takeover.  We will have to see, for as I am typing this, these events started only three hours ago.  We have not heard from my sister or Robert yet.  I fear for their survival, and sincerely hope they made it back to their apartment.

I look around...no bugs yet.

A slight tickle.

My leg.

It's far from over.

[Midna_the_Imp]

OMG, that's so creepy Zovi. T_T I hate bugs. ;_;

[Kilroy]

That was awesome, but I hope we don't have an epidemic D:

I suggest some Raid or something >_>