EXT. NEW YORK – STREETS – NIGHT
A party bus full of large naked men careens around a corner, lights flashing, swooping through the fresh puddles on the road.
CUSTOM, 19, is the driver. He wears cargo pants, black boots, and a unbuttoned black shirt with a gold name tag engraved with the word "IAN".
UGLYBOY, 23, overweight, his partner for the night, rides in the passenger seat, both hands on his lap.
CUSTOM scans the cityscape for male prostitutes, in hopes of having more on the bus.
CUSTOM (V.O)
Just another night on the job. The day started with a bang: a cumshot to the face on a handjob gone wrong. I was good at my job: there were periods when my hands moved with a speed and skill beyond me and my mind worked with an authority I had never known. But in the last week I had started to lose control. I couldn't help myself anymore. I became addicted.
CUSTOM exits the van. He decides to take a piss in a nearby alleyway. UGLYBOY stays in the van.
CUSTOM walks until he finds a mound of garbage bags. He undoes his belt and starts to piss on the bags.
MYSTERIOUS STRANGER emerges from the shadows.
MYSTERIOUS STRANGER
Hey there pretty boy. How long have you had that?
CUSTOM is startled by the voice and screams.
UGLYBOY rushes out of the van and chases towards CUSTOMS screams of anguish and despair.
CUSTOM
...Had what?
MYSTERIOUS STRANGER
That gigantic penis.
CUSTOM is terrified
MYSTERIOUS STRANGER
The first step is love, the second step is mercy.
MYSTERIOUS STRANGER slowly creeps towards CUSTOM.
MYSTERIOUS STRANGER
Get ready for the medicine... the LOVE medicine.
UGLYBOY gets to the alleyway just in the nick of time.
UGLYBOY
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BOYFRIEND?!
MYSTERIOUS STRANGER
You feel that pulse?
MYSTERIOUS STRANGER places his palm onto CUSTOMS heart, feeling his HEARTBEAT.
UGLYBOY
WITH ALL THE PEOPLE IN THIS CITY, WHO ARE WILLING TO BE FUCKED, WHO ONLY WANTED TO BE FUCKED, YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO STAND HERE AND TOUCH MY BOYFRIEND?
MYSTERIOUS STRANGER places his hand on CUSTOMS penis, still out from the piss he took.
MYSTERIOUS STRANGER turns to UGLYBOY and gives him a welcoming grin.
UGLYBOY
Don't give me that look!
MYSTERIOUS STRANGER
What look?
UGLYBOY
YOU KNOW WHAT LOOK, THE I WANT TO FUCK YOUR BOYFRIEND LOOK. NOW LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE HOLDING, ITS FOUR A.M ITS TIME FOR A DRINK, THE COCKTAIL HOUR!
MYSTERIOUS STRANGER
The bar is now open.
MYSTERIOUS STRANGER takes his hand off of CUSTOMS penis and goes towards the bag in the corner. He pulls out a bottle of gin.
UGLYBOY
I LOVE ALCOHOL
The three travel to the PARTY VAN. CUSTOM is driving. UGLYBOY in passenger seat. MYSTERIOUS STRANGER in the middle.
MYSTERIOUS STRANGER
So how about that drink?
MYSTERIOUS STRANGER takes the bottle and forcefully makes UGLYBOY drink.
Afterwards, MYSTERIOUS STRANGER starts to give CUSTOM a handjob.
CUSTOM hits the lights, and accelerates to full speed.
The gin spills; UGLYBOY grabs the dashboard.
CUSTOM
IM CUMMIN BABY, I"M CUMMIN! WE ARE CUMMIN! WHOOOOO
CUSTOM swings the bus frantically to avoid a cab, SKIDS into a
turn--and smack toward an incoming truck. UGLYBOY covers his face
and screams.
CRASH! The back of the van rams into the truck. The VAN flips twice and the windows shatter.
UGLYBOY is bleeding profusely from the head, and his arm is snapped like a twig.
CUSTOM and MYSTERIOUS STRANGER climb out of the window of the van, now on it's side.
CUSTOM
WHOOOOOOOO! We're alive! AND UGLYBOY IS DEAD! YES! I'VE LOVED YOU EVER SINCE I LAID MY EYES ON YOU MYSTERIOUS STRANGER, NOW TAKE OFF THAT MASK!
MYSTERIOUS STRANGER
Shit. I loved UGLYBOY since I first laid eyes on him. But now I guess it's just you and me.
CUSTOM goes to the back of the van and opens the doors. All of the PROSTITUTES are dead.
CUSTOM starts to walk down the street, appearing deep in thought.
MYSTERIOUS STRANGER
Where are you goin!?
CUSTOM
I'M THROUGH! I QUIT!
MYSTERIOUS STRANGER looks dissatisfied. He removes his mask. The camera slowly zooms in on his face, revealing none other than... GOLDFISHMAN
COASTERKID93'S CONTINUATION OF THIS EPIC
GOLDFISHMAN watches as Custom walks into the night, his hand still soaked in CUSTOM'S load.
GOLDFISHMAN
(To himself)
Don't quit on me, baby. Everyone already has.
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a MARIJUANA JOINT. He lights it, soaks it CUSTOM'S semen, and smokes it boastfully. He looks around him. The city lights stain the night sky in an orange haze.
UGLYBOY leaps from the wreckage and tackles GOLDFISHMAN to the ground. GOLDFISHMAN screams in horror.
UGLYBOY
You FILTH. YOU FUCKING SCUM.
UGLYBOY wipes the blood from his head and smears it into GOLDFISHMAN'S mouth.
UGLYBOY
BURN. IN. HELL.
GOLDFISHMAN pushes UGLYBOY off of him and runs as fast as he can down the sidewalk. UGLYBOY reaches into his coat and pulls out an AK-47 assault rifle with a drum magazine. 200 rounds.
UGLYBOY
I'm doing God's work tonight, baby.
GOLDFISHMAN sprints into a SUBWAY STATION. It's full of male prostitutes. A few are blowing each other in the background. He sighs with relief. But then...
RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT
UGLYBOY begins firing aimlessly into the crowd. People are reduced to piles of blood and gore from the hail of gunfire. UGLYBOY spots GOLDFISHMAN, who leaps onto the SUBWAY tracks and begins running into the tunnel. The survivors follow in panic.
UGLYBOY
YOU CAN'T STOP WHAT'S COMING, HEATHEN.
GOLDFISHMAN and SURVIVORS are running down the subway tracks, when all of a sudden a homeless man opens an emergency exit and guides them through.
MATT is one of the survivors, and introduces himself to SILVER, in a desperate attempt to kindle a relationship.
GOLDFISHMAN
ALL ALONG YOU'VE BEEN BUILDING A LIFERAFT.
SILVER
GET OUT
GOLDFISHMAN
YOU NEVER FORGAVE ME
SILVER
FORGAVE YOU FOR WHAT, THAT I'VE NEVER BEEN ENOUGH?
GOLDFISHMAN
YOU GOT EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED. EVERYTHING! AND YOU LOVED IT! AND NOW I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR SOME SPOILED MAINLINED BRAT?
SILVER
THATS RIGHT.
GOLDFISHMAN
YOU WONT GET A NICKEL.
GOLDFISHMAN grabs SILVER and brings him close.
GOLDFISHMAN
YOU'RE A WHORE. YOU KNOW THAT?
SILVER
I WANT YOU OUT OF HERE.
CUT TO:
EXT. NEW YORK – STREETS – NIGHT
From above, we see CUSTOM walking down a dimly lit street in a forgotten side of New York City. The song "Dead End Angels" by Bohren & Der Club of Gore plays in the background.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuKVDJXUQnc
We descend slowly. He is alone.
CUSTOM (V.O.)
Giving a great handjob is a lot like mastering the subtle art of conversation. You never want to bore the person you're stroking because they'll lose interest, flip you over, and slam you with a knuckle sandwich.
We are now at the height of surrounding buildings, and we continue to descend. There are a few more people now. They are drunk and scantily clad. One of them whistles at CUSTOM as they pass.
CUSTOM (V.O. – CON'T)
Not that there's anything wrong with that. In fact, on a decent night, that will earn me a few extra dollars to buy myself some Rock Band DLC. But that's beside the point. There is much more to a handjob than business.
We are closer now. There are also more people.
CUSTOM (V.O. – CON'T)
You always want to be the person in control. The second you lose that power over the other person is the second they gain control over you.
We are now directly behind CUSTOM, and we continue to follow him through the growing crowd of people.
CUSTOM (V.O. – CON'T)
It's funny that something that places so much emphasis on self-control has completely drained me of it. Maybe that's why Uglyboy and I have been drifting apart for years. I have become too good, and he knows it. He's bored with it. Maybe it's time I let him give me a knuckle sandwich. If only I could find him in this god-forsaken city. But first, there's some business that I need to attend to.
CUSTOM stops and stares expressionless at the blinking neon light above him. "YAOIPRINCESS." CUSTOM brushes his way through the crowd of half-naked men and enters –
CUT TO:
INT. YAOIPRINCESS – NIGHT
- the bar. It's a dimly lit place that doesn't deserve the attention that it's getting. The place is jammed with people, and alcohol flows in abundance. Muffled electronic music plays in the background.
CUSTOM scans the crowd. He's looking for someone. Growing impatient, he grabs a seat at the bar.
BARTENDER
Beers are two dollars tonight, shots are three.
CUSTOM quickly fixes his arms into an "x."
CUSTOM
Sorry pal, straight edge for life.
BARTENDER
What'll it be, then?
CUSTOM
Hit me with a volt.
THE BARTENDER pulls a MOUNTAIN DEW VOLTAGE out of a small refrigerator and slides it down to CUSTOM. CUSTOM catches it, opens the can, and takes a hearty gulp. He takes another quick scan of the room. THE BARTENDER notices.
BARTENDER
She doesn't like unexpected visitors, you know.
CUSTOM
Excuse me?
BARTENDER
Does she know you're coming?
CUSTOM
I kindly doubt it.
BARTENDER
Try again another night. I doubt she'll be available any time soon.
CUSTOM
I have nothing but time.
BARTENDER
That wasn't a recommendation.
We hear a CLICK. CUSTOM notices it too. Under the BAR COUNTER, THE BARTENDER has just cocked a 9mm handgun. CUSTOM maintains his composure.
CUSTOM
Come on, there's no need for that.
BARTENDER
Sorry, but I'm on direct orders from her.
CUSTOM
Those being?
BARTENDER
'Bring me 37 dicks, and shoot any son of a ninny who tries to ruin my night.'
CUSTOM
Her night was ruined long before I got here, buddy.
BARTENDER
Is that so?
CUSTOM
Yes. And if you don't let me see her, your night is going to get a whole lot intercourse ing worse.
CUSTOM pulls a COLT .45 PISTOL out of his pocket, and aims it at THE BARTENDER from under the counter. The crowd around them continues, oblivious to what is happening.
CUSTOM (CON'T)
Let her know I'm here. Now.
THE BARTENDER rests his finger uneasily on the trigger of his pistol. CUSTOM smirks.
ABOVE THEM, at the corner of the bar area, a SECURITY CAMERA focuses on them. THE BARTENDER places his finger on the BLUETOOTH HEADSET in his left ear. He returns his attention to CUSTOM.
THE BARTENDER
You're lucky. Last door on the right.
CUSTOM places the COLT .45 PISTOL back in his pocket, and chugs the rest of his soda. He crumples the can and rests it on the counter. He smiles a poop-eating grin.
CUSTOM
Add it to my tab.
CUSTOM makes his way through the chaotic sea of partiers and prostitutes. The scene narrows into a dark hallway. CUSTOM rounds the corner, and is faced with a WOODEN DOOR illuminated in RED LIGHT.
CUSTOM tenses. He's nervous. He exhales, and opens the door.
On the other side of the door is a PLUSH OFFICE. Everything is ornate, sensuous, and covered with MAGENTA VELVET. A MOUNTED TELEVISION is playing a breaking news story that we don't yet hear. In the middle of the room is a PINK DESK with a HUGE LEATHER CHAIR that is currently turned away from CUSTOM. We hear a voice come from the chair. It is gelatinous and menacing......
UNKNOWN PERSON
Who dares enter my lair unannounced?
CUSTOM
Don't be like that, honey. You know who it is.
The chair turns revealing TALIM2004 (20s). She is morbidly obese and entirely repulsive to look at. She is dressed in an offensive abortion of 20s burlesque attire. It barely fits. She smiles, clearly excited to see CUSTOM.
TALIM2004
Such a pleasant surprise! Here, sit!
CUSTOM sits at the desk. He is visibly scared, but trying to hide it from her.
TALIM2004 (CON'T.)
What brings you to my humble establishment?
CUSTOM
It doesn't seem so humble anymore.
TALIM2004
Oh yes, this place has surely gained some overdue popularity these past few years. It's been too long, Custom.
CUSTOM
Agreed.
TALIM2004
So, I am to trust that there have been no errors in my order?
CUSTOM
No, not exactly.
TALIM2004's expression becomes annoyed. Custom tenses.
TALIM2004
Go on.
CUSTOM
There was an accident.
TALIM2004
What kind of accident?
CUSTOM
A bad one. We encountered someone who wasn't supposed to-
TALIM2004
Spare me your excuses, Custom. You had one job to complete.
CUSTOM
Just listen to me-
TALIM2004
I knew I shouldn't have trusted you for a delivery like this.
CUSTOM
I'm sorry......
TALIM2004
Sorry for what?
CUSTOM
They're all dead. And your bus is totaled.
TALIM2004
(Furious)
What?
CUSTOM
(Terrified)
I'm sorry, but things got out of control! It wasn't my fault. Please, believe me.
TALIM2004's face suddenly becomes expressionless, and she rises from her desk. CUSTOM's face ignites with horror.
CUSTOM
Please, would you just listen to me?!
TALIM2004 exits silently through a backdoor. CUSTOM is struggling to contain his emotions.
CUSTOM
(To himself)
I'm intercourse ing dead, I'm intercourse ing dead. Jesus Christ, she's going to murder me.
CUSTOM begins to panic in his seat. He tries to regain control of his breathing. After a while, he's finally able to regain his calm composure. He grips the pistol in his pocket. Something on the TV captures his attention.
It's a horrific display of massacred people in a subway station. The place is filled with police. CUSTOM turns up the television.
Just as he does, a picture of UGLYBOY appears on screen.
NEWS ANCHOR (V.O.)
Police believe that this man is responsible for the massacre here tonight, and authorities confirm that he is still on the loose tonight.
CUSTOM is horrified.
CUSTOM
No......no, this can't be true.
Suddenly, the television turns off. The only remaining light source is the lustful red light that glows dimly overhead. CUSTOM grabs the COLT .45 PISTOL out of his pocket and aims helplessly around the room.
TALIM2004
(Unseen)
No one keeps me from my thirty-seven dicks!
A LARGE METAL CHAIN suddenly wraps around CUSTOM'S neck. CUSTOM screams in terror.
TO BE CONTINUED
bump
what the intercourse am i reading
Quote from: Silverhawk79 on March 23, 2013, 08:55:06 PM
what the intercourse am i reading
the movie we are making DUH
Needs a mysterious stranger.
please continue
hold on guys, my contribution is coming in soon
can i be in it
Can I be a hooker?
someone continue this
I wanna produce this.
SOMEONE KEEP WRITING
Quote from: Britz on March 26, 2013, 11:23:23 PM
I wanna produce this.
SOMEONE KEEP WRITING
One day.
bump
UPDATED
This is the best movie ever.
UPDATED 8)
Quote
BARTENDER
Beers are two dollars tonight, shots are three.
CUSTOM quickly fixes his arms into an "x."
CUSTOM
Sorry pal, straight edge for life.
BARTENDER
What'll it be, then?
CUSTOM
Hit me with a volt.
oh god i'm dying
Needs more of me. I demand to be in this.
Go show that to professional screenwriters. I'd love to know their feedback.
Quote from: Viewtifulboy on November 16, 2013, 12:45:45 PM
Go show that to professional screenwriters. I'd love to know their feedback.
they are professional screenwriters they showed it to themselves
Quote from: Custom on November 16, 2013, 03:21:39 PM
they are professional screenwriters they showed it to themselves
yeah are you jealous uglyboy
yeah they are real writers with really talent unlike viewtifulboy and his phoney college credits what does that get you intercourse ing nothing live in your pretend bubble ninny they are real screenwriters who actually wrote something cry about it on your blog intercourse er