THE AUTHOR OF THE MANLIEST PAGE ON THE INTERNET RETURNS

[SkyMyl]

I, THE MANLIEST MAN IN ALL OF HISTORY, THE MAN THAT EVERY NERD WISHES THEY COULD BE, HAS FINALLY RETURNED TO THIS FORUM AFTER SIX MONTHS. AND WHAT DO I FIND? A FORUM FILLED WITH PUSSIES. THIS FORUM USED TO HAVE OVER SIXTEEN GALLONS OF TESTOSTERONE INJECTED INTO IT PER HOUR, AND IT USED TO BE FED BEARS, BOULDERS, AND BURNING BALLS OF GAS AS AN APPETIZER. PRESENTLY, THIS FORUM SEEMS TO HAVE A TEASPOON OF TESTOSTERONE DAINTILY SPOONED INTO ITS MOUTH BY A CARING MOTHER ONCE A DAY, AND IT'S ON A FUCKING DIET, CONSISTING OF NOTHING BUT VEGETABLES, BREAD, AND VARIOUS FRUIT JUICES.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? THIS FORUM IS SUPPOSED TO BE DIVERSE, AND NOW IT'S FILLED WITH PUSSIES. GO SKIP ALONG THE SIDE OF THE ROAD, HOLDING YOUR MOMMY'S HAND IF YOU WANT TO BE A PUSSY, BUT I SAY IT'S TIME FOR A MANLY REVOLUTION. THIS FUCKING DIET, BASED AROUND THE THOUGHT OF BEING HEALTHY? FUCK THAT, FUCKING FUCK THAT. ALL THIS FORUM NEEDS IS MEAT, GASOLINE, EXPLOSIONS, AND VARIOUS CAR PARTS. IT'S TIME TO STOP SPOONING THE TESTOSTERONE IN BY TEASPOON, AND JUST INJECT IT EVERY HOUR, EVERY DAY, FOR THE REST OF THIS FORUM'S NOW MISERABLE EXISTENCE.

STOP BEING PUSSIES AND MAN THE FUCK UP. GO OUTSIDE AND MAKE OUT WITH THE HOTTEST WOMAN YOU CAN FIND. GET HER PHONE NUMBER. IF YOU DID IT RIGHT, THEN SHE'LL CALL YOU THE VERY NEXT DAY AND TELL YOU THAT SHE'S PREGNANT, AND THAT IT'S YOUR BABY, JUST FROM MAKING OUT WITH HER. THAT'S HOW MANLY YOU'LL BE AFTER READING THIS THREAD! BUT, IF YOU'RE LUCKY, YOU WILL BE SO INCREDIBLY MANLY THAT EVEN EXISTING NEXT TO WOMEN WILL MAKE THEM PREGNANT!

WHISPERING? A THING OF THE PAST. WHISPERING IS FOR PUSSIES. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS WHISPERING, BECAUSE AFTER YOU READ THIS THREAD, YOU WILL ONLY BE ABLE TO SHOUT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! BEING QUIET WILL ALSO BE IMPOSSIBLE, UNLESS YOU'RE TRYING TO BE A NINJA, IF BY NINJA YOU MEAN A MANLY MAN THAT CAN DEFLECT BULLETS WITH A TOOTHPICK!

YOU WILL BE SO MANLY THAT FOOD WILL AUTOMATICALLY BECOME MANLIER JUST BY BEING PRESENTED TO YOU. A CHEESEBURGER? NOT ANYMORE. THAT HIPPIE CHEESEBURGER JUST BECAME A FIVE POUND CHEESEBURGER, THOROUGHLY COOKED, WITH SEVEN KINDS OF CHEESE, AND EVERY SAUCE KNOWN TO MAN. EVEN BREAKFAST CEREAL WILL SUDDENLY BECOME MANLIER. THE MILK WILL TRANSFORM INTO ACID, AND THE CEREAL WILL TURN INTO NAILS, AND BOLTS, AND EVEN SHARK TEETH.

ONCE YOU FINISH READING THIS, YOU WILL BE OOZING WITH SO MUCH TESTOSTERONE THAT ANY LIVING FEMALE WITHIN A 100 YARD RADIUS WILL BECOME PREGNANT WITH YOUR CHILD, AND IN TWO WEEKS, THAT CHILD WILL EMERGE FROM THE MOTHER'S WOMB AS A FULLY DEVELOPED MAN, FULLY EQUIPPED WITH A BEARD LONGER THAN HIS LEGS, A MUSTACHE THAT PUTS ANY GOD YOU MAY OR MAY NOT BELIEVE IN TO SHAME, AND MUSCLES. MUSCLES THAT ARE FULLY CAPABLE OF RIPPING AN OIL TANKER RIGHT IN HALF. IT WOULD THEN BE YOUR SON'S RESPONSIBILITY TO JUMP INTO OUTER SPACE WEARING NOTHING BUT BOXERS, AND PUNCH OUT ASTEROIDS AND SHOOTING STARS.

IF YOU WERE EXPECTING A TL;DR, THEN FUCK YOU. GO OUTSIDE AND MAKE EVERY WOMAN BISEXUAL, STAND NEXT TO PRETTY BOYS AND TELL THEM TO MAN THE FUCK UP, JUST LIKE HOW THIS MISERABLE FORUM SHOULD.

[Magnum]

HOLY SHIT, I JUST HIT SECOND PUBERTY!!!!!

[Kilroy]

I CONCUR.

[Shujinco2]

RANDOM FORUM WENCHES, COMBINE YOUR VAGINAS TOGETHER SO I MAY FIT INSIDE YOU!!!!!

[Dog Food]

FUCK, I'M PREGNANT.

But seriously, just looking at a girl and getting her pregnant takes all the fun out of baby making.

[Magnum]

FUCK, I'M PREGNANT.

But seriously, just looking at a girl and getting her pregnant takes all the fun out of baby making.

PEOPLE, WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!

[Titus Andronicus]

youre not maddox

[JrDude]

The fact that you call it baby making makes baby making unpleasant because a guy doesn't want to think of making a baby when he inserts, he wants to feel the vagina with his dick without the slightest bit of worry of responsibility coming near, JUST CUMING.

[Thirdkoopa]

PUSSIES FUCKING FUCK THAT PREGNANT NINJA NAIL BOLT OIL TANKER RIGHT IN HALF with YOUR FULLY DEVELOPED MAN SHARK TEETH SHOUTING THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TO PUNCH OUT ASTEROIDS AND SHOOTING STARS.

I couldn't resist. It came into my head with all the bold'ed content.

[Zero]

The fact that you call it baby making makes baby making unpleasant because a guy doesn't want to think of making a baby when he inserts, he wants to feel the vagina with his dick without the slightest bit of worry of responsibility coming near, JUST CUMING.

lol speak for yourself

[The Seventh]

HOLY SHIT BALLS I HIT SECOND PUBERTY AND MY DICK JUST GREW TO 20 INCHES LONG.  I BROKE A RECORD, BITCHES.

AND I CAN'T STOP YELLING THIS MUCH HOLY SHIT MAN THIS IS INSANE.

I FEEL LIKE BILLY MAYS WHEN YELLING LIKE THIS.

[Lotos]

youre not maddox

[Silverhawk79]

I THINK MY BALLS JUST DROPPED AGAIN.

[PsychoYoshi]

...um, ok then

[StarWindWizard7]

What an Idiot.
*wipes ears from all the yelling from the thread*