A Brief Study of the Online GH III Player

[PsychoYoshi]

Please note, this thread is satirical, therefore it's half-truth and half-exaggeration. So don't go all "omg ur so meen PY" before, during or after the reading of the thread. Thanks. I love you, too. <3

Just as other online games attract a certain clientele of gamer, so too does Guitar Hero. However, there are many varieties and personalities within the species Homo sapiens plastiguitaris, so let's make a wide pass and see what personalities we can observe.

1) The newbie
-This player probably just got online and seems to think that they're pretty good by being able to 3 or 4* a song on Medium. They like to start on Medium or Hard (when they should definitely be practicing on Easy) and subsequently do poorly on online matches. Typically given away by someone selecting a song that's easier on Medium or Hard.
Favorite Songs: My name is Jonas, When You Were Young, Slow Ride

2) The Specialist
-This person picks out one or two songs, learns how to play them to the point where they could FC them in their sleep, and the picks them and nothing but them while playing online. May play on any difficulty, but uncommon on Easy, and usually likes single-song matches.
Favorite Songs: Unique to the specific player

2a) The DragonForce Fan
-A subset of The Specialist, this person plays TTFAF constantly. You will never see them play anything but this song. This person believes that TTFAF is the only true measure of how good a GH player is, and derives a bizarre and sadistic pleasure from watching other people fail miserably on the song, even when they can easily 5* or FC anything else at the current difficulty level.
Favorite Songs: Well, duh!

3) The Sore Loser
-A person who gets extremely upset when anyone would dare to have the guile to be better than they are at playing. Sore Losers are typically decent to fairly-good players, but if their opponent begins to eke out a fairly considerable lead, they'll quit or disconnect to spite the other player, as quits generate fewer win counts and Groupies for the better player, and there is no disconnect % statistic in GH III.
Favorite Songs: Varies.

4) The Gentleman
-A good opponent to have, this player is willing to play through anything and rarely, if ever, disconnects. If they're impressed with your skill, they might even submit a friend request after the match. Their one vice is that they're gullible; Specialists and Sore Losers usually take advantage of their kindness to improve their own win records. This isn't to say that Gentlemen are bad players, many of them are quite skilled.
Favorite Songs: Willing to play anything and everything, even awful stuff like Raining Blood and Before I Forget.

5a) The Retro Rocker
-Someone that will only play songs that were written before 1980. May disconnect if you pick a song that isn't to their liking. Typically extremely nostalgic people in their mid-to-late 20s or Baby Boomers who were introduced to this game by their kids.
Favorite Songs: Paint it Black, La Grange, Paranoid, etc.

5b) The Mod Rocker
-Someone that will only play songs that were written after 1990. Typically, 7 year-olds or 13 year-olds. Behavior is similar to the Retro; they may D/C if you don't appease them with a song written during the appropriate period.
Favorite Songs: Lay Down, knights of Cydonia, Stricken, etc.

6) The Emo
-An old Internet favorite, this player enjoys to cut him or herself during long sustains. Again, may disconnect if you decide to play something that's bright and cheery.
Favorite Songs: When You were Young, Miss Murder, any depressing song

7a) The Internationalist
-Typically a left-wing American who hates their own country. Only picks songs that were not written in the US, enjoys songs written by the French or Germans, may or may not play British songs. Will call you a heartless, right-wing, meat-eating conservative and disconnect if you don't meet their level of 'openness' and 'sophistication.'
Favorite Songs: Radio Song, Mauvais Garcon, Generation Rock, etc.

7b) The Flag-Waver
-Typically a right-wing American who loves their country to the point of being a brainless drone. Only picks songs written by Americans, may or may not play British songs. Will call you a unpatriotic, left-wing pinko commie liberal and disconnect if you don't meet their level of 'devotion' and 'patriotism.'
Favorite Songs: La Grange, One, Cult of Personality, etc.

8) The Difficulty Elitist
-This person plays on Face-Off on either Hard or Expert, and for whatever reason refuses to play with someone on Easy or Medium, even though they have a Pro Faceoff option to play with people on their own difficulty if they so choose. Often a player who is transitioning up to the next difficulty level and is worried that they'll lose because an opponent on a lower difficulty will be able to sustain a good multiplier while they'll be screwed over.
Favorite Songs: Anything that's simpler on their chosen difficulty.

9) The Crazed Guitar God
-This person can 5* or FC every song on Expert. You can't beat them on Face-Off or Pro Face-Off; they're great allies in Co-Op. Don't even try. Typically plays extremely difficult songs on Expert difficulty; usually stays away from Battle mode.
Favorite Songs: TTFAF, Cult of Personality, Raining Blood, etc. on Expert.

Please feel free to suggest more additions to the list as you see fit.

[Fell]

I would say I'm a gentelmen.

:) But I don't have Internet installed on the wii yet, so I can't really prove it. :(

[Joeofmars]

I would say I'm a mixture of the specialist and the gentlement. The songs I like to pick on Wi-Fi are Welcome to the Jungle, Bulls on Parade, and Paint It Black.

Also:

"omg ur so meen PY" =P ( You walked right into it)

[sonicdude164]

omg ur so meen PY

[PsychoYoshi]

omg ur so meen PY

omg im sry :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

EDIT: More sad emoticons were needed.

[Tomboh]

I'm a cross between Specialist, Gentleman, a Retro Rocker, and an Internationalist.

[metroidhunter777]

I'd have to say I'm a cross between Gentleman, Retro Rocker, and Crazed Guitar God. ;D

Oh, I've seen about everything on that list except for the Difficulty Elitist, the Flag Waver and Internationalist.

[NiMa74]

4) The Gentleman
-A good opponent to have, this player is willing to play through anything and rarely, if ever, disconnects. If they're impressed with your skill, they might even submit a friend request after the match. Their one vice is that they're gullible; Specialists and Sore Losers usually take advantage of their kindness to improve their own win records. This isn't to say that Gentlemen are bad players, many of them are quite skilled.
Favorite Songs: Willing to play anything and everything, even awful stuff like Raining Blood and Before I Forget.

I'd say I'm one of these.

[thunderhero4]

im not a specialist, but i really like to do the 2 songs: Lay Down, and cliffs of dover...

and ill play any song another person does and i never disconnect so i consider myself gentleman too!

[Silverhawk79]

Don't forget me, the person who gets mad when I get beat, but still take losses like a man. <3

[thunderhero4]

Don't forget me, the person who gets mad when I get beat, but still take losses like a man. <3

I would hope so...i lose most of the time...

[Tomboh]

Don't forget me, the person who gets mad when I get beat, but still take losses like a man. <3

^_^

[Fell]

Don't forget the dragonforce baby.  :robotangry:

I win on that song, and he Disconnects. *shakes fist*

[Cardinal]

Don't forget me, the person who gets mad when I get beat, but still take losses like a man. <3

Sounds like me.
Throw in a little Newbie, and it fits moi perfectly. ^^

[Custom]

...
http://www.guitarhero.com/accounts/215909

I play other songs. :(
Sometimes.
On wifi. D: