How To Be A Real Man: by Roger S. Huxley (Star Ocean 3)

[DededeCloneChris]

You're talking to the man, Roger S. Huxley, right here as you read this! Heheh, I made you read this pointless introduction...

E-eh, I mean...

Hello there! Welcome to the guide "How To Be A Real Man" by yours truly, Roger! As you read through this, you're going to understand the steps to become a real, REAL, real man. Of course, these doesn't apply to lummoxes like that muscle-head Cliff...then again, I'd like to have muscl-

Anyway! Let's get on to the main point here. Thanks to my friends (Dribe and Melt) at Surferio, I was able to complete this little but very handy book about becoming a real man. Heh, now I'd like to see those idiots/lummoxes do the same.

AND! I took 10 sweet months in researching everything about becoming a real man in planet Earth. Fayt, if this was the moment where I should say "Thanks, man" to you...I'd rather say that to Albel. That guy REALLY gave me a lot of good hints to be a real man. Creepiness is what describes him best but hey, he gives good info.

And we go onwards to the 100 steps! Hope they help, non-lummox!

1) Dye Fayt's hair pink.

2) Blow Sophia's small skirt and see what "panties" look like.

3) Gather all the inventors and make them create 10 Philosopher's Stones.

4) Give Blueberries to the inventors.

5) Should they attack you after getting countless and countless of Repulsive Lumps, blame it all on Peppita.

6) Bring a dude named "Shadow the Hedgehog" and show him to Maria. (Don't know who's that dude, but helps).

7) Call an otaku guy and show him to Peppita and see if he yells at her "Rena!"

8) Shoot an arrow to lummox's (Cliff's) lower part.

9) Hide 10 Proclaimers (if they're around your area) inside Adray's closet and see the LIGHT TOWERS OF DOOM.

10) Speaking of Proclaimers, start a religion of Proclaimers. When you bring on to a church full of people who should follow them and think the Proclaimers are angels, see the Dark Sphere part happen.

11) Go back to the past and bring 3 Welchs and make them meet our Welch.

12) I dunno why, but have earplugs when the "older" Welch shows up and yells.

13) Go to 4D space and reprogram Fayt to make him believe he's a dude called Edge Maverick.

14) If you DO make Fayt think he's the Edge dude, then bring a guy called "Mega Man" or simply "X", then watch a massacre.

15) Give Adray a lightsaber or whatever that thing's called, go to 4D space and create the "Star Wars"

16) On purpose, reprogram Adray to make him believe he has something called "The Force."

17) Make Crosell watch "Blue Dragon."

18) Make a comment that Blue Dragon is a bazillion times better than Crosell.

19) Instead of bringing Albel to Crosell, bring Sophia so she can die by his rage.

20) However, make sure she doesn't have a staff or else she'll Thunder Flare the poor guy.

21) Steal the Sacred Orb and give it to Nel.

22) Lie you found it with Peppita.

23) Watch Peppita and Nel (if it happens to her as well) getting arrested for taking the Sacred Orb.

24) If they ask you if I did it, make the most complex explanation to make them believe the girls did it.

25) Tell Fayt that Sophia fell in love with me. (SCORE!)

26) Better yet, tell him she fell in love with Killer Chef.

27) EVEN BETTER YET! Tell him she fell in love with Maria!

28) MUCH, MUCH BETTER YET! Tell him she fell in love with Maria AND Mirage!

29) Start fake SophiaXMirageXMaria fandom.

30) Make Nel kiss Albel!

31) Appear from behind a tree and yell "Oooh, Nebel shipping!"

32) Yell "Nelyt if better though!" afterward.

33) Run like hell!

34) Make Fayt yell his famous "AaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" at least 30 times so people hate him more. (I hate that yell).

35) Spoil the dudes from the past that we're actually programs for a MASSIVE videogame in another dimension.

36) See them freak out.

37) Bring popcorn and watch insanity ensuing pretty much everywhere in the past.

38) Make Peppita do the "Caramelldansen" dance.

39) If you can, reprogram the whole universe where the same mentioned dance is played daily in everyone but you.

40) Speaking of which, 10 minutes until everyone does that here again. : P

41) When you meet Commodore (if he's alive), yell at him "There's Largo the Black Lion!" and call a chick called  Natalia from some place called Kimlaska.

42) Wherever the Rossetti has an audition, burn the whole place so Peppita doesn't have her first debut EVER.

43) Ask Maria is she has ever been a traitor. If she says no, then yell at her that she left Earth for Quark. She's PRACTICALLY betraying her own world!

44) Tell everyone Fayt's gonna marry Clair tomorrow!

45) After that, tell Fayt he won a trip to Roak for a month so he doesn't show up for a month.

46) After the month, watch Adray shoving his old face on Fayt's face, then the beating on Fayt's gut.

47) When Adray is still beating the heck out of Fayt, tell him Fayt called Clair fat.

48) Watch even more beatings! (Suggest Power Up for Adray).

49) Tell Nel she has an engagement with...Sophia next week.

50) Tell Nel that Cliff did that.

51) Make a "Maggot" campaign where Albel is the president.

52) Tell Fayt the ultimate weapon is a Metal Pipe.

53) If you're going to go after Luther, make sure Fayt is the only one fighting...with a Rusty Armor.

54) Compare Crossel with myself. I'm 100 percent awesomeness!

55) Wait, compare him to Peppita so you can see the reaction...and the stomping.