NSFCD

Read the title, dumbass. One person makes a wish. The next person ruins the wish or modifies it in a funny/absurd/ouch!/fail sort of way and then makes a wish.

Example:

Person 1: I wish I was as awesome as Phaze

Person 2: Granted, but being as awesome as he is, you cannot control it and end up anally raped in prison


So, yeah. Get started corrupting. I'll start:
I wish whoever posts below me dies a slow, painful death and burns in eternal hellfire.

gogogo


(Also, please note Mack told me to make a thread even after I told him it was 1:00am and I was jacked up on Monster, please direct all your complaints and flamage to him ^__^)

Quote from: Phaze on January 02, 2009, 01:55:30 AM

CORRUPT A WISH
NSFCD Edition

Read the title, dumbass. One person makes a wish. The next person ruins the wish or modifies it in a funny/absurd/ouch!/fail sort of way and then makes a wish.

Example:

Person 1: I wish I was as awesome as Phaze

Person 2: Granted, but being as awesome as he is, you cannot control it and end up anally raped in prison


So, yeah. Get started corrupting. I'll start:
I wish whoever posts below me dies a slow, painful death and burns in eternal hellfire.

gogogo


(Also, please note Mack told me to make a thread even after I told him it was 1:00am and I was jacked up on Monster, all credit goes to him ^__^)

Okay, but I get to lock your thread.
JUST KIDDING
AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Anyways, I wish this winter break never ended.

It doesn't end, but your brain deteriorates and becomes maggot-filled...

I wish for an endless candy supply.

You get extremely fat and become a diabetic.

I wish I could fall asleep.

Granted. But here comes Freddy...


I wish I could be 21 so I could drink.

You become so drunk you find two girls in the bar you drink with and go to your house with them. You end up having sex with them. You develop herpes. Approximately one month later, you find out that both of them are pregnant. One girl says she isn't prepared for a child, but is too scared to get an abortion. She ends up having the child, but her financial status is very bad, and she ends up living in the slums, forced into prostitution. The other demands you take full responsibility for the child and hounds you constantly until you agree to take custody of the child. She then leaves you and the child, never to return. However, being young, you continue to drink and party, causing the child to die from neglect and malnourishment. After seeing the first girl on a TV show journalizing about poor single mothers and the breakouts you have had constantly for awhile, your anguish is enough to end the sharp spiral down your life has become when you OD on medicine after futilely trying to cut your wrists with dull butter knives.

I wish for a 8 1/2 by 11 inch sheet of binder paper.

The paper doesn't have holes.


I wish my wish didn't go corrupt.

Your wish does not go corrupt.
But instead, your health starts to deteriorate.

I wish NSFCD was more active and funny.

But then we get the retards from NS2.

I wish that there was an RP board again.

It's password protected, and you don't know the password. :O
I wish I had a laptop...

Your laptop breaks 1 minute after the warranty expires.

I wish I had a new DSi.

It's Japanese region locked, and you have to expensively import all of your games.

I wish I was in the Twilight Zone.

You get sent to the "corn field".

I wish I could find some english subs of Dr. Slump.

they have horrible voice overs.

I wish NSF got as much credit as NS2.

We become so popular that Snorkle steals our domain... again.

I wish I was the best Budokai 3 player ever.

You are, but then you get beat by someone using an AR.

btw, someone change this to UnOfficial. No Mods have officialized it yet.

I wish I was SIT.

You become so good, that you get mobbed by fans, trampled, and killed.

I wish the Red Sox win the world series this year.

They do, and then next season do poorly.

I wish the Eagles would win the Super Bowl.

they do, but then Dallas fans massacure McNabb and Westbrook.

I wish I was 13.

You become 13, only to realize that it's completely useless. You then drift off into a state of depression, knowing that you could have wished for something better.

I wish I had some Buffolo Wings.

You do, but you realize that buffalos don't have wings, and go into depression.

I wish I had $100.

You get $100, in Monopoly money.

I wish to be richer than Bill Gates

You get crushes underneith all your riches upon wishing for them.

I wish for unlimited wishes.

You get them but you forget to read the fine print causing you to never be able to wish again.

I wish I had a party to go to tonight. :(

On your way to the party, you get killed by a zombie version of Jack the Ripper. (What are the odds? :D)

I wish Jack the Ripper would come back to life in zombie form.

You get raped by him.

I wish my RP characters were real.

They turn out to like flesh. Specifically, YOUR flesh.

I wish I could spell better.

You end up being hated by your peers who can't spell worth poop, and they torture you because of your superiority.

I wish my life had .01% more bread involved.

It does. Suddenly, your entire life becomes bread related due to a miscalculation by a lazy bureaucrat.

I wish I had better ideas for my adventures.

You start to get better ideas. These ideas eventually esculate to your obsession with them, eventually causing you to believe they are real. After time, you start to believe in it so much, that they come to pass and destroy all of human kind.

I wish I could do the Kamehameah wave.

You learn to do the Kamehameah wave but end up getting butt raped by Michael Jackson and die. :|

I wish this thread didn't exist.

It doesn't... but then Phaze starts one anyway.

I wish I still had my G&W sig NES_DUDE made for me.

You get your sig back, only to find out it is over our size limit. Subsequently, you put in in after numerous warnings, and I ban you for kicks and giggles.

Next, this is Official, as I approved of it.

I wish I had the skills to join the Edmonton Oilers on Defense.

Quote from: mackormoses on January 02, 2009, 02:38:57 PM
You get your sig back, only to find out it is over our size limit. Subsequently, you put in in after numerous warnings, and I ban you for kicks and giggles.

Next, this is Official, as I approved of it.

I wish I had the skills to join the Edmonton Oilers on Defense.

granted, but you have to play with Sean Avery as your defence partner, and you lose all of the games that you play against vancouver and calgary, and you score 10 own goals.

I wish I had an ice cream cone.

You get fatal brain freeze.

I iwsh I were a mod

Quote from: Shujinco on January 02, 2009, 02:49:56 PM
You get fatal brain freeze.

I iwsh I were a mod

The rest of us mutiny against you, thus removing you via a conspiracy.

I wish Canada was more of a world power, then a world pushover.

But your leader is Bush.
I wish I had an internet connection.

You do but the cops find out it's illegal...

I wish I could fly...

But you can only go 6 inches off the ground.
I wish I had a real job. :(

You get a job at McDonald and the fry cook burns your whole face...

I wish I was a box...

You get your box, but it's on fire...forever.
I wish this scab on my finger would heal already.

Turns out the scab gets worse day by day and it grows.

I wish I had a new car.

The car was stolen.

I wish my cousin's uncle's mother's girlfriend was born before 1987, therefore ending world hunger and all punishment in a series of elaborate and intricate schemes that were predetermined by a group of world leaders, who teamed up against an Australian uprising, only to realize the only way to end all the tyranny is to give my cousin's uncle's mother's girlfriend a premature birth.

She ended up being born on 1988.


I wish I lived in Gotham City.

Vince Carter, while visiting, knocks you out by throwing you a signed basketball, which you miss. Batman mistakes you for a crook and kills you.
I wish I had some more wishes.

Your teeth is missing and you get fishes instead...

I wish I had a HUGE Grape flavored beach...

You get a Tentacle Grape flavored beach instead.

I wish my laptop could run Team Fortress 2 without having a ridiculously high ping.

You have a ridiculously low ping, but everything is colored black.

I wish people would try and win my contests.

People try but lose anyway.

I wish I had a Dreamcast

Your Dreamcast comes true, but you get lynched for just wanting peace between the consoles.

I wish my mom would let me buy something other than an iPod.

You buy a Zune and it freezes...

I want world peace...

It happens....for 1 minute.

I wish I couldn't post in this thread.

You can't because your computer explodes and burns your whole house down.

I wish my growing wisdom teeth didn't annoy me so much.

You pull them out and hurts like crazy.

I wish for a fish.

It's a pirahna and eats your toes.

I wish I had an Xbox360.

It brakes down the final level of Halo3 on Expert.

I wish for a penny.

You get it, but you're killed by the penny when someone drops it from the Empire State Building.

I wish I had a laptop.

With virus included, oh, and it blows up, starting a fire in your bed as you sleep, game over. X_X

I wish I could have a game.

You just lost it.

I wish I had a Mac.

Too bad it sucks.

I wish for super speed.

You fall trying to run in water a drown...

I wish for a little bit more air...

Quote from: Java_Java on January 02, 2009, 11:24:48 PM
You get it, but you're killed by the penny when someone drops it from the Empire State Building.

Don't tell me you're an Avenue Q fan as well! O_O

The "little bit" of air you speak of ends up flipping out the balance of air versus earth, causing the entire world to implode.

I wish my glass was half full.

too bad it's also half empty.

I wish to breathe underwater.

You wonder why do you have wings and a toga.

Oh, here's one creative, I wish I was Toon Link.

You end up in Hyrule Castle underwater with the Master Sword ready to fight hordes of newly unfrozen enemies.  ^_^


I wish I could jump 12 feet high.

You jump 12 Feet High, but when you land you crush both of your legs.

I wish that I had a life.

Your life becomes selling NSFCD t-shirts, because you end up owing Silver money.
I wish this fly in my room would die already... >:(

It respawns as a Hydra.

I wish for life.

You get a life as an ace attorney and everyone hates...

I will for an lol...

you lol so much you die.

I wish for __________.

I'm not granting wishes today.


I wish I knew what to wish for.

And you just stepped in the Genie's Lamp.

I wish I was Meta Knight.

A new copy of Smash comes out, nerfing MK so much, CF can easily ko him.

I wish for nothing.

You get your nothing, but the nothing comes back and smites you.

I wish I had the patience to play Dead Rising for 14 hours straight and not die.

The game explodes at 13 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds.
I wish I had a cute little pony. :)

The pony has a rare strain of virus that will kill all it comes in contact with. It infects all your family and friends.

I wish I had a better wish.

You can never come up with that better wish.

I wish that I only had to move once.

You get Donkey from Shrek instead.

I wish I was Luigi.

instead, you become weegee.

I wish I had a flashy orange shirt

You get confused for an orange and someone eats you alive.

I wish for immortality.


Also LS, I've never seen Avenue Q before. XD

God smites you with lightning.

I wish for 1 paper dollar.

Too bad it's countrerfit.

I wish for Cheese.

Quote from: Java_Java on January 03, 2009, 05:03:55 PM
Also LS, I've never seen Avenue Q before. XD

Aw. I only assumed it because in Avenue Q, someone drops a penny off the Empire State Building, and it cuts someone's head off. XD

Your cheese is filled with so many holes it ends up being nothing but a speck.

I wish for better eyesight.

You turn into a giant limbless eyeball.

I wish for a Supercomputer to divide the Number Zero by the Number Zero.

Quote from: LightningSword on January 03, 2009, 07:21:34 PM

Quote from: Java_Java on January 03, 2009, 05:03:55 PM
Also LS, I've never seen Avenue Q before. XD

Aw. I only assumed it because in Avenue Q, someone drops a penny off the Empire State Building, and it cuts someone's head off. XD

Actually, she's only knocked into a coma.

Quote from: MasterYoungLink on January 03, 2009, 07:50:19 PM
You turn into a giant limbless eyeball.

I wish for a Supercomputer to divide the Number Zero by the Number Zero.

The world explodes. I hope you're happy.

I wish that all the food supply on Earth was poisoned.

It becomes poisoned, but humans adapt to the change.

I wish people would post in my adventure threads.

People post flames in your adventure thread, starting a flame war that leads to the forum shutting down forever.

I wish that the government would actually become useful.

We get Bush sr. again.

I wish for nothing.

you get Dan Cloutier instead.

I wish for everything except Dan Cloutier.

You get everything, including every disease known to man.

I wish I knew when New Dr. Slump is coming out in America.

You learn that it's release is scheduled for the next day, but then you hear that the release was postponed indefinitely.

I wish for good health and happiness.

You become so healthy that you endure serious pain and come out alive, every single time. Eventually, you have endured so much pain that your happiness disappear, and you become an empty shell of a being.

I wish I had some of the best Buffalo Wings right now.

Bufalos don't have wings.

I wish I was Meta Knight.

You get cleaved in the head by Sword Kirby in one of your nostalgic sword battles with him.

I wish I had the power to absorb the powers of anybody near me. (Like Peter from Heroes.)

Quote from: Triforce_Luigi on January 03, 2009, 08:10:58 PM

Quote from: LightningSword on January 03, 2009, 07:21:34 PM

Quote from: Java_Java on January 03, 2009, 05:03:55 PM
Also LS, I've never seen Avenue Q before. XD

Aw. I only assumed it because in Avenue Q, someone drops a penny off the Empire State Building, and it cuts someone's head off. XD

Actually, she's only knocked into a coma.

Well, I saw the musical six months ago. I could have sworn her head was cut off, though, and the doctors spent hours sewing it back on.

You turn into the exploding man. And Nathan is nowhere near to save you and everyone else.

I wish I was a wish.

Your wish was too complicated, and the universe explodes.

I wish the universe didn't explode due to LightningSword's wish.

The universe doesn't explode; all the planets inside the universe, on the other hand, do.

I wish everyone in the world was as smart as me.

Everyone's head explodes.

I wish I had a car.

And the next day you're prison because you had a hangover.

I wish I was Pit.

You turn into an Olive pit and fall to the floor. Approximately one minute later, someone steps on the pit and you die.

I wish I was Icarus.

You fly too close to the sun and die.

I wish to become a full fledged Nazi, just like Mack. <3

But later it turns out you're Silver.

I wish I had a super computer.

The computer room is found and you're supercomputer is destroyed by random vandals who hate you for no apparent reason.

I wish that all wishes did not come true, not including mine, and that there was no possible loophole that could be exploited in this wish or any other.

A lawyer comes out and reviews the wish with you. He says it's "A pretty good wish, and you should go through with it." You wish for the wish, but the universe intercourse ing implodes. Should have read the fine print.

I wish people wouldn't post retarded things in Animal Crossing: Peculiar Planet.

Your wish comes true, but people start posting retarded things in AWGC.

I wish the Last Two Episodes of Evangelion made sense.

You watch them again and finally understand them but you also figure out your life has meaning and you kill yourself

I wish I wish was a fish...

You get eaten.

I wish I had a fish named Mario64.

It turns out not to be a real fish, but instead Mario64, who is actually a shape shifter, who robs, and kills you in your sleep. :)

I wish I didn't have to be at school today/right now.

4life contaminates your school with some toxic chemical naturally produced by his body.

I wish 4life wasn't so toxic.

He becomes non-toxic but instead is a mass murder and you're his first target

I wish no one would reply to my wish...

There was a reply to your wish before it could come true, thus cancelling it.

I wish for a Genie.

The Genie pummels you to death.

I wish Port Forwarding was explained better.

You finally find a manual, but it's in Arabic.

I wish for unlimited wishes.

Everyone gets unlimited wishes.

I wish I was a woman.

Right when you actually become a woman, you start wishing you were a man again.

I wish the Jets would be good.

The jets get to the superbowl, but get trounced and never win a game again.


I wish college was easy.

College becomes easy, but you become so stupid it's just as hard as before.

I wish I knew what Game Engine to use for a Mega Man game.

You know which one to use, but it is impossible to acquire it.

The Wish Generator exploded from lack of wish.

I wish that my iPod Touch had a better battery.

the battery would be better, but the Itouch would now use so much energy it wouldn't matter.


I wish I had a cute girlfriend

*this one should be interesting*

You get a cute girlfriend, but she's racist.

I wish I had the strategy guide for Animal Crossing: City Folk.

The Guide appears in your hands, but someone spills a bottle of Pepsi on it.

I wish my Mother had the strategy guide for Animal Crossing: City Folk

Your Mother gets it, but she accidentally drops it in the fire.

I wish that no one would corrupt this wish, either before or after it comes true.

Too bad I corrupted it while you were posting.

I wish for more hours in a day.

It happens...until I post.

I wish I was 6'4" already.

You grow to 6'4'' immediately, but shrink down to 2'1'' in five seconds.

I wish people would remember to wish.

I forgot.

I wish I never forgot anything, and that this wish came true before I typed it out, and that there could be no possible way to subvert or corrupt it in any way, form, or manner, in any point in time, and that there was absolutely no fine print involved.

You say that REALLY slow, without taking a breath, and therefor, die from suffocation before the wish could be granted. :P

I wish I had a pet Bat or Squirrel.

You get a mutated bat/squirrel hybrid that mails you.

I wish I had a mutant bat/squirrel hybrid that mauled everyone I didn't like, but left everyne else.

You get one, but end up not liking yourself (for whatever reason) and the thing kills you.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

You finally know what to wish for, but you just wasted your wish.

I wish that my homework could be done already.

You fail the homework

I wish that every person in a coma would wake up as my thoughtless servants who are incapable of betrayal or anything other than breathing and killing everyone that's not me or people I choose to live.  

Chuck Norris is chosen to defend the world, and therefore ends up kicking you and your comatose servant's ass.

I wish Jimi Hendrix never died.

There is a ban on lefties in the world and he is killed anyway.

I wish I didn't have to go to school.

4life comes back again.

I wish I didn't have to go to school.

You become a poor bum who dies cold and alone in New York City.

I wish that level 256 of PacMan was made possible.

It is,  but it's so insanly hard, you lose all your lives in 10 seconds anyway.

I wish people would remember to make wishes.

Nobody ever forgets again but you.


I wish I would stop dozing off.

You fall asleep. Forever.

I wish I would stop eating so much Cheese. >_<

You eat a bunch of cheese-wiz instead.

I wish I had a can of whipped cream.

You get rancid Cheese Wiz disguised as whipped cream.

I wish I was a baller.

Your really good, but become only 7 inches tall, therefore having no affect in the game what-so-ever.

I REALLY WISH I COULD FIND SOME REALLY GOOD DR. SLUMP ENGLISH SUBS!

They are in black and white

I wish the Lions didn't go 0-16 D:

The Lions go 1-15 the next fifteen years

I wish I had an infinate amount of money

You get an infinate amount of money, but that actually means nothing because you don't have an infinite amount.

I wish I didn't have to take AP World History.

Instead, you are placed in the lowest form of World History, being taught with the mentally retarded, and also being treated like one.

I wish The Game never existed.

Quote from: HTA on January 08, 2009, 03:45:39 PM
They are in black and white

I wish the Lions didn't go 0-16 D:

You know, at this point, I would not mind.

Anyway: The world blows up, and as it turns out, The Game could have saved it, IF it were to exist.

I wish I knew what The Game was.

You do, but you just lost it.

I wish I could manage my time better.

You end up with so much free time, you start doing drugs in order to pass all of it.

I wish I had a Houston Oilers jersey!

It's sized XS.
I wish I had some money.

You get a forgien equivilant of a penny.

I wish the Browns would actually go to the playoffs at least ONCE! :'(

they get killed in the wildcard.

I wish Silver won't be mad.

Silver becomes so sad, which in return makes him destroy the forums.

I wish Silver was terrible at breaking things.

Error404:Wish not found.

I wish for $8761.

You get your money but we revert to trading and your paper is useless...

I wish for cake...

You get a hollow cake with a fat harry male stripper inside.

I iwsh pokemon was good still.

It's all Japan only.

I wish for a Wii.

Your Wii is unable to play North American Wii Titles.

I wish I had a Girlfriend.

She's a cannibal.

I wish there was no such thing as stupidity.

Life becomes dull and boring.

I wish that my Gaming Skills would come back to me.

They come back, but there are no good games to play and all of your old ones have mysteriously been thrown into the fire.

I wish Nintendo would get off their lazy asses and make a good game with what people actually want for once, instead of trying to win over the so-called "casual" gamer.

While standing on their feet, Nintendo makes a game that people actually want by winning over the "casual" gamer, which effectively means your wish was pointless.


I wish could live a happy life forever.

For that, Rosie O'donell will sing to you.

I wish I was a movie star.

Quote from: wiiboychris on January 11, 2009, 10:39:10 PM
For that, Rosie O'donell will sing to you.

I wish I was a movie star.

The only movies you can star in are the Disney channel ones. Sure, you get rich, but is it really worth it? Have fun singing and dancing.

I wish real life was easier.

It becomes too easy, and you take over the world at age 23. You become extremely bored with having sex with so many women because of how easy they are, so you commit suicide.

I wish my wireless card would stop intercourse ing up.

Your computer explodes.

I wish for awesome facial hair.

You lose the hair on your head.


I wish I would naturally never be tired.

Because you're never tired, you never sleep, and you end up going insane from all of your awake time.

I wish I had an absolutely delicious (to my tastes) meal right now that I am allowed to eat.

You eat it, but it turns out there is arsenic in there for some incredibly odd reason, and you die.

Error 404: Wish not found.

I wish I didn't lose The Game.

You become dumb as a /b/tard.

I wish I could ply guitar.

You learn how to whack guitars with plywood. You become known as "2-Ply" to the gangsters. Suddenly, you are famous for a horrible, horrible reason.

I wish Sync's sig didn't suck.

there's no way I can grant that.

I wish for a giraffe

The giraffe turns violent and kills you.


I wish NSFCD was awesome as it used to be.

The server explodes from being too awesome.

I wish I weren't bored.

Quote from: Byte on January 14, 2009, 05:07:02 PM
The server explodes from being too awesome.

I wish I weren't bored.

Granted.  You're free-falling without a parachute into a glass factory.

I wish this wish would not become corrupted.

The world explodes from your proposterous wish.

I wish that I could be a cast member on Saturday Night Live.

Chris Farley comes back to life and eats you, then dies again.

I wish I didn't wake up so early.

You fall asleep for all of eternety.

I wish I could think of a wish right now. :-\

Granted, you think to wish for Rick Astley to come to your house every night to sing you a lullaby. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0)

I wish I had more money.

You get a penny.

I wish I had a real incarnation of the RYNO gun from Ratchet and Clank.

You get it,but it blows up.

I wish this forum would get at least 200 more active members.

They are from NS2.

I wish we got 200 active users that WERN'T from NS2.

They're from govteen.

I wish we had 200 more intelligent members.

We get 200 PY clones.

I wish I had enough coins in Brawl to beat All-Star mode on intense.

You get an infinite amount of coins, however All-Star on intense becomes physically impossible to beat, rendering the coins useless.



I wish I wasn't so busy

You become a hobo, they have all the time in the world.

I wish I didn't have to write this paper. D:

You end up having to write a more tedious, longer, annoying paper instead... with 200 pages of reading and an oral presentation, all due tomarrow.

I wish the Eagles didn't lose to the Cards. :(

They lose in the Super Bowl, causing more humiliation.


I wish that homework was never given while at the same time keeping the same amount of in-school work.

Quote from: GreatGonzalez106 on January 19, 2009, 06:48:50 PM
They lose in the Super Bowl, causing more humiliation.


I wish that homework was never given while at the same time keeping the same amount of in-school work.

You fail every thing due to the lack of practice.

I wish I could never get sick.

You are forced to endure every single day of school, event, or anything else you don't want to, because the whole "*cough* I'm sick" gag won't work anymore.

I wish I didn't have to sleep ever.

You grow desperately tired, but are unable to sleep. You try to take some sleeping pills, but overdose and die.

I wish I didn't have to go to school tomorrow, but would still gain the knowledge I would have gotten by going to school.

All your classes spend the day talking about how much they hate you and how glad they are that you are gone. You become so depressed that you kill yourself.

Payback, ninny <3

I wish I could make time go faster/slower just by changing the time/date on my watch.

You accidentally speed time up too fast, instantly aging everyone and everything, causing it all turn to dust.

I wish I had a watch like that, but it doesn't cause any serious problems like Birdie's.

You accidently set it to 50 years in the future, and then it breaks from overuse.

I wish I could make a wish that wasn't corruptible.

Your wish comes true, but you waste that non-corruptible wish on accident.

I wish that I could erase anyone I wanted from history, and that this wish is completely safe from corruption in any form, shape or manner.

You accidentally wish to erase yourself after extreme embarassment.


I wish I didn't just forget to wish for something.

You don't forget, but your wish is to kill every human being on the planet. EVERYONE DIES THE END.

I wish I was more awesome.

You become in high demand for your awesomeness, but end up getting assassinated within the year.

I wish I could fly without the use of machinery or any other technology.

You can fly, but it's only for a millimeter off the ground.

I wish anime filler didn't exist

Anime becomes much shorter without fillers. Then someone else wishes that Anime lasted longer, thus cancelling out your wish.

I wish that I had an Xbox 360.

The first one you get gets the Red Ring of Death 2.0, thus cursing every other Xbox 360 you play or acquire get the original Red Ring of Death.

I wish I didn't have a terrible headache.

You get a migraine instead.

I wish I was able to mange my time better.

You manage time so well that you forget to do other needed activites, like eating and going to the bathroom. You explode from having so many wastes within you.

I wish I wish I was a fish.

Quote from: Byte on January 20, 2009, 03:19:55 PM
You manage time so well that you forget to do other needed activites, like eating and going to the bathroom. You explode from having so many wastes within you.

I wish I wish I was a fish.

You are now a fish.  Too bad you can't get into water from your computer chair.

I wish I was as perfect as perfectly possible.

 "perfectly possible" is terrible.

I wish that made sense.

Everything becomes boring now that it all makes sense.
I wish I could play the guitar professionally.

You play guitar professionally, but become so loved that the fangirls accidentally crush you to death.

I wish we had longer weekends.

We have 7 day weekends, and become so mind-bogglingly stupid that Canada assimilates us.

I wish that TF2 worked better on my computer.

Timothy Froghead 2, an educational kid's computer game, now works better on your computer.

I wish I had a Bart Starr packer's jearsy in packer's colors in XL size.

Quote from: Shujinco on January 29, 2009, 09:04:53 AM
Timothy Froghead 2, an educational kid's computer game, now works better on your computer.

I wish I had a Bart Starr packer's jearsy in packer's colors in XL size.

You had one, but it was destroyed in a fire.

I wish I didn't have to make a display board for my science project.

Instead you have to make a display wall for your science project.

You die in a fire.

I wish GreatGonzalez would have wished for something so he wouldn't have died in a fire from lack of wish.

Your wish is granted without corruption. I CORRUPTED THE GAME


I wish that I could be a better writer.

You turn into a Mechanical Pencil.

I wish my Wallet had an Infinite amount of money that never ran out, only gave the money to me, and that the bills were $50 every time. And that the money was not counterfeit.

The money is cycled into your wallet from a bank, therefore you are a robber and you are put in prison for life without a chance for bail.

You die in a fire... again.

I wish GreatGonzalez would have learned his leason the first time he didn't wish for something.

Quote from: Shujinco on January 30, 2009, 08:54:55 AM
You die in a fire... again.

I wish GreatGonzalez would have learned his leason the first time he didn't wish for something.

The GreatGonzalez learns his lesson and wishes that he were the ruler of the world, making you a slave.

I wish that this sentence was using proper subjunctive mood.

It is?


I WISH THAT I REMEMBERED WHAT THE SUBJUNCTIVE MOOD WAS AND COULD GO BACK IN TIME TO BEFORE THIS POST TO GRANT RAYQUARIAN'S WISH.  this makes up for my other two missed wishes

You go back in time to grant the wishes, but die in a fire anyway.

I wish for a giant tub of gravy.

A giant gravy monster is formed from the tub of gravy. The gravy is very hot, so it kills on contact. It chases you, and you outrun it. The gravy monster dies and you enjoy your gravy as it has cooled. However, the gravy is poisonous and you die. The end.

I wish I could control time.

Quote from: NintendoMan74 on February 02, 2009, 05:46:24 PM
A giant gravy monster is formed from the tub of gravy. The gravy is very hot, so it kills on contact. It chases you, and you outrun it. The gravy monster dies and you enjoy your gravy as it has cooled. However, the gravy is poisonous and you die. The end.

I wish I could control time.

You want to see how the world was really created, so you travel back to the time before time existed.  However, your powers are erased when the world is created, leaving you trapped in the beginning of time.

According to Shujinco...you die in a fire.


I wish I could automatically get 100s on every assessment I ever take.

You get an 100 in an assignment based on why Jews are bad, and you become hated by every american citizen.

I wish the Cardnals would have PLAYED BETTER so they would have won the Super Bowl.

Quote from: Shujinco on February 03, 2009, 08:25:03 AM
You get an 100 in an assignment based on why Jews are bad, and you become hated by every american citizen.

I wish the Cardnals would have PLAYED BETTER so they would have won the Super Bowl.

The Cardinals play better, resulting in the defining play being called as a fowl, and win the Superbowl; however, there is a giant uproar afterward, resulting in a fire that kills the Cardinals and everyone in the Stadium.

I wish that I didn't die in a fire.

You make a wish, therefore cancling your 'lack of wish' firey death, but you wish to die in a fire, so, yeah.

I wish I had every episode of the X-Files on DVD in English.

as soon as you get them all DVD players break



I wish I could destroy the earth (with me and everyone else on it) try and Corrupt that!

We all survive, and we get sent to Mars by an alien spaceship. Mars can support life, so we all live happily ever after.

I wish I had more power on this forum than anyone else.

You turn into PY and PY turns into Noishe.

I wish I could play laser tag right now.

A guy brings a real gun, an blows your head off. :)

I wish there was an organization called "People against animal's rights" that way PETA would shut up already.

Quote from: Red on February 04, 2009, 03:07:45 PM
A guy brings a real gun, an blows your head off. :)

I wish there was an organization called "People against animal's rights" that way PETA would shut up already.

PETA shuts up, but "People against animal's rights" is even more obnoxious.

I wish that I was God.

You go mad out of sheer boredom.

I wish for paper.

It is LIQUID paper.

I wish for liqued paper.

Liqued paper is poison. 


I wish for 7.

You get one 7, but need two more for the jackpot, therefore making your seven useless.

I wish I could beat that darn curveball record.

Your new record is broken by me a minute later.  :P


I wish that I wished this wish so wishes would wish wishes as other wishes and other wishes would wish wishes as those wishes that I wished.

Those wishes and other wishes wish about wishing about wishes, but wishing for wishes is redundant.



I wish for food.

Quote from: JNeedForSpeed2014 on February 05, 2009, 07:29:39 PM
Those wishes and other wishes wish about wishing about wishes, but wishing for wishes is redundant.



I wish for food.

All of the food in the world piles up on top of you, thereby crushing you to death and killing everyone else from starvation.

...?

I wish you made a wish.

He makes a wish, but you didn't answer it so now you're the one breaking the chain.


I wish I didn't have to take nearly as long as I do to do homework.

It takes you much, much longer than it does now to do homework.

I wish for America to be an isolated country.

Our country quickly runs out of natural resources and blames you for its downfall. You are burned at the stake.


I wish I could catch up on my tv shows.

You catch up on your TV shows only to realize that they suck now.

I wish I was green.

you become the most putrid green ever devised, making it impossible for anyone to ever look at you and you wind up alone and unwanted.


I wish I was born on some day other than valentines day.

you'd be born on Christmas


I wish I was 500 feet tall!

Quote from: Commissar Torgo on February 06, 2009, 07:20:04 PM
you'd be born on Christmas


I wish I was 500 feet tall!

You trip and die.

I wish that me and all of my family/friends were rich.

You all become rich... with disease.

I wish for denial.

Your wish is denied.


I wish I had all the DLC I want from RB2 and GHWT.

 You get the DLC but no one else does. And when someone sees it they get mad and think that your hacking. So they snap your disc.



  I wish...for... the DSI.

You get the Decision Sciences Institute.

I wish I know where my brother is right now.

You do, but you wish you had never found out where he was.  ::)

I wish that Phaze had never made this thread.

I wish that he did, and the universe explodes.

I wish that the universe didn't explode.

Quote from: Shujinco on February 08, 2009, 12:57:33 PM
I wish that he did, and the universe explodes.

I wish that the universe didn't explode.

The universe implodes.

I wish that I were a certified ninja.

Gregg Casey chops your head off.

I wish I could draw like the guy who did mspaintadventures.

You become him, but then you realize you're just as awesome as he is, and wish yóu could take your wish back.

I wish for true <3.

It's a lie </3.

Quote from: Shujinco on February 08, 2009, 12:52:43 PM
You get the Decision Sciences Institute.

Okay... I wish for the newest nintendo DS model wich is called the DSI.
HA!Corrupt that >:D

Quote from: darkmario on February 09, 2009, 02:18:48 PM
It's a lie </3.

Quote from: Shujinco on February 08, 2009, 12:52:43 PM
You get the Decision Sciences Institute.

Okay... I wish for the newest nintendo DS model wich is called the DSI.
HA!Corrupt that >:D

It explodes; you die in the fire.

DAM IT.

I wish that Raquarian made a wish and I corrupted it.

He wishes for sonmething, but you corrupt it by making him not wish anything, thus canceling everything out.


I wish everything that I ever did was beneficial with no harmful consequences.

You never joined NSFCD.

I wish that it was easier to work on a rom hack.

It gets easier, but you also lose intelligence so it seems as hard as before.


I wish people didn't care college as much.

They don't care collage, but your grammar sucks and you get killed by PY.

I wish I had a donut.

 Your nuts are now made of dough It eats you.

I wish that my cat would stop scratching me.

He starts eating your innards instead.

I WISH I COULD HAVE MVC2 FOR MY X-BOX OR PS2!

Quote from: Shujinco on February 11, 2009, 05:19:21 PM
He starts eating your innards instead.

I WISH I COULD HAVE MVC2 FOR MY X-BOX OR PS2!

It's scratched.

I wish someone would grant this wish.

It is granted, but not exactly the way you wanted it.

I wish they would make a Mother 4.

Quote from: Shujinco on February 23, 2009, 06:03:42 PM
It is granted, but not exactly the way you wanted it.

I wish they would make a Mother 4.

they do but it's not released outside of Japan


I wish I had a turkey sandwich

You obtain turkey and then put it between your hands, creating a makeshift sandwich. Then you eat it.

I wish I didn't accidentally press submit.

You don't submit it at all and your post never exists, and because it doesn't exist, you didn't wish for anything, which makes you die in a fire... AGAIN!

I wish spam had boobs.

His boobs are too large to fit in the universe and everything explodes from the pressure.


I wish Shujinco didn't keep burning me to death.

Granted, but instead he shoots you four times in the heart.

I wish it was Thursday

It is next Thursday.


I wish I could catch up on sleep.

Quote from: GreatGonzalez106 on February 23, 2009, 09:25:21 PM
It is next Thursday.


I wish I could catch up on sleep.

You go into a seemingly eternal sleep.  When you wake up, Earth is on fire and you die in the fire.

You make Gonzalez die in a fire from lack of wish. :D

I wish I had my dream donut.

Your dream doughnut is so illogical the Universe collapses on itself from the sheer nonsense that is your doughnut.

I wish the Scout update would come out already.

It does, but you and Shujinco die in a fire before finding out.

I wish Shujinco died in a fire (not me) and he was not the granter of this wish, either.

Quote from: GreatGonzalez106 on February 24, 2009, 07:38:20 PM
It does, but you and Shujinco die in a fire before finding out.

I wish Shujinco died in a fire (not me) and he was not the granter of this wish, either.

Shujinco dies in a fire, but I wish that he comes back to life.

I wish that Shujinco came back to life.

But instead, you clicked "Delete Account".
I wish our TF2 server would update faster.

It finishes updating quickly, but crashes before anyone can use it.


I wish I wouldn't procrastinate right now.

Quote from: GreatGonzales106 on February 24, 2009, 08:54:27 PM
It finishes updating quickly, but crashes before anyone can use it.


I wish I wouldn't procrastinate right now.

Wish granted, you get all your work done. As a matter of fact you even have time to build a time machine but before you realize that you are awful with machinery you take the time machine to before you got any of your work done and there's no way to get back to the present. You become so frustrated that you set yourself on fire.

I wish my homework was asexual so it could do itself. =/

It rips into a million pieces from doing itself to hard. D:
I wish I had  1 million dollars. :)

You get a million bucks charging at you.

I wish my arcade games would get added already ;-;

They get added, but an internal error prevents them from being played.

I wish all of my remaining homework would finish itself.

It finishes itself very poorly.

I wish I was good at Avalanch still. :(

You get good.
...but so do I, keeping me ahead. :)
I wish I had a million DOLLARS.

Quote from: DOODLEboy99 on March 16, 2009, 03:15:41 PM
You get good.
...but so do I, keeping me ahead. :)
I wish I had a million DOLLARS.

You get 1 million people with the last name of Dollars, and all of them are crazy cat ladies.

I wish I could go to that Elton John/ Billy Joel concert on May 7.

Quote from: Shujinco2 on March 17, 2009, 05:47:01 AM

Quote from: DOODLEboy99 on March 16, 2009, 03:15:41 PM
You get good.
...but so do I, keeping me ahead. :)
I wish I had a million DOLLARS.

You get 1 million people with the last name of Dollars, and all of them are crazy cat ladies.

I wish I could go to that Elton John/ Billy Joel concert on May 7.

You do go but then you find out that they become rappers!

I wish i was no longer sick.

Quote from: WaterGod on March 17, 2009, 06:58:08 PM

Quote from: Shujinco2 on March 17, 2009, 05:47:01 AM

Quote from: DOODLEboy99 on March 16, 2009, 03:15:41 PM
You get good.
...but so do I, keeping me ahead. :)
I wish I had a million DOLLARS.

You get 1 million people with the last name of Dollars, and all of them are crazy cat ladies.

I wish I could go to that Elton John/ Billy Joel concert on May 7.

You do go but then you find out that they become rappers!

I wish i was no longer sick.

You die.
I wish I wouldv'e thought of that first (that referring to the song "Piano Man") so I could be the famous one.

Quote from: Rayquarian on March 17, 2009, 08:11:27 PM

Quote from: WaterGod on March 17, 2009, 06:58:08 PM

Quote from: Shujinco2 on March 17, 2009, 05:47:01 AM

Quote from: DOODLEboy99 on March 16, 2009, 03:15:41 PM
You get good.
...but so do I, keeping me ahead. :)
I wish I had a million DOLLARS.

You get 1 million people with the last name of Dollars, and all of them are crazy cat ladies.

I wish I could go to that Elton John/ Billy Joel concert on May 7.

You do go but then you find out that they become rappers!

I wish i was no longer sick.

You die.
I wish I wouldv'e thought of that first (that referring to the song "Piano Man") so I could be the famous one.

You do, but then you become rappers along with Elton John.

I wish I could have Marvel vs. Capcom 2 right now.

It fails harder than E.T.

I wish Mack would promise me ranks for my epic contest.

Quote from: Kilroy on March 18, 2009, 06:30:52 AM
It fails harder than E.T.

I wish Mack would promise me ranks for my epic contest.

He gives you the PWN'D BY SHUJINCO rank.

Btw, MVC2 is the BEST capcom fighting game ever. EVER!

I wish Orb Avoidance was in the arcade.

A completely different game by the same name gets added instead.

I wish I had MvC2.

Quote from: Shujinco2 on March 18, 2009, 07:54:38 AM
Btw, MVC2 is the BEST capcom fighting game ever. EVER!

Agreed.

Quote from: MasterYoungLink on March 18, 2009, 12:27:56 PM
A completely different game by the same name gets added instead.

I wish I had MvC2.

Quote from: Shujinco2 on March 18, 2009, 07:54:38 AM
Btw, MVC2 is the BEST capcom fighting game ever. EVER!

Agreed.

You get it, but right before you can play it, the police come to your house with an arrest warrant.  After a brief search, they find marijuana in the game case; you are sent to jail without passing go.
I wish that I were an eternally elated immortal.

Quote from: Rayquarian on March 18, 2009, 05:17:46 PM

Quote from: MasterYoungLink on March 18, 2009, 12:27:56 PM
A completely different game by the same name gets added instead.

I wish I had MvC2.

Quote from: Shujinco2 on March 18, 2009, 07:54:38 AM
Btw, MVC2 is the BEST capcom fighting game ever. EVER!

Agreed.

You get it, but right before you can play it, the police come to your house with an arrest warrant.  After a brief search, they find marijuana in the game case; you are sent to jail without passing go.
I wish that I were an eternally elated immortal.

You get thrown into lava.

I wish for a box of the best Thin Mints.

You get a box and open it. You put one in your mouth and it's a rapturous moment of bliss. the chocolate and mint, perfectly balanced. You stick your head out the window and scream "These are the best intercourse ing thin mints on the planet, and I want everyone to know it!"

Word gets out about these delicious thin mints. Word gets out and reaches some very unsavory places. A local street gang called "Thin and the mint-men" hears about your cookies. Thin (he is the leader of the gang) must taste them for himself. They kick down your door and Thin karate chops you right in the face. They tie you up and ransack your kitchen, throwing boxes of cereal, cans of soup, cartons of milk and anything else they can find on the floor, digging through your food to find the thin mints.

You, still tied up in the corner, have a wide grin on your karate chopped face. Why the intercourse  are you smiling? They hit you and dug through all your poop! I'll tell you why you're smiling. You're smiling because you've hidden the thin mints away in the safe hidden behind the Jonas brothers poster on your bedroom wall.

Thin and the mintmen have now gone through your entire kitchin, and there is a large pile of food on the floor. Thin walks over to you in the corner, puts his face mere inches to your face, and bellows "WHERE ARE THE FUCKING THIN MINTS, GIVE THEM TO ME NOW!" You spit in his cheek. He gets up. You immediately regret spitting on him.

Thin picks you up by the neck and carries you to the highest window in your house, takes you by one hand and one foot, and begins spinning you around in an airplane ride. When he reached his maximum RPM he throws you like a discus through the plate glass window, launching you across your yard and into the street.

As you lie semi-conscious on the street, by unfortunate coincidence, there is a 10-year-old driving his mother's volkswagen down the street. At the last second, he swerves to avoid hitting you, but crushes your fingers on your left hand.

Soon police arrive to your house, but Thin and his lackies were gone. An ambulance arives to carry your brocken body to the hospital. As you regain consciousness in the ambulance, you raise your left hand up in the air, look the EMT in the eyes, and lament:

"I can never play banjo ever again..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------


Damn that took a long time to write.

I wish I had a better guitar.

By unfortunate coincidence, your hands are run over by the ambulance that is taking me to the hospital. :P

I wish I had Axel's car from Twisted Metal 2.