Observe

[Nayrman]

Another fiction story by Nayrman. I thought of this idea fairly recently, so I'm probably going to be figuring out the story as I go along. This is my fourth "concrete" idea (Naria, Mystics and an untitled work. The later two I don't feel like writing anytime soon) with some other works. Hope everyone enjoys.

Synopsis: The usual "test of courage" for the high school basketball team is a common occurrence amongst new players. In fact the entire team enjoys staying at an abandoned, dilapidated house on the edge of the local suburbia. The old, pathetic "it's haunted" story never bothered the team. Usually they would get too drunk to notice such things. During the course of the night James Williams, a slightly clumsy yet otherwise normal student, is able to see a ghost when odd events begin to happen. After a strange set of events, the ghost begins to to haunt and observe James, getting a look a life that wasn't possible for her.

Genre: humorous yet dark slice of life.

Update #1: The series commences. No where near my best work unfortunately. As I said earlier, I'm kind of writing this as I go along. I really don't have any solid characters besides the main two, so you'll see a lot of "the young freshman", etc. for other characters. I intended this to be a LOT longer, but this took me about four hours as it was, and this is barely any proof-reading. Ugh, it took me about four hours for six pages...HOWEVER, I hope you enjoy it.



Observe
By: Ryan Malis

Chapter 1


Opening Monologue: ?A dark and stormy night would be a better use of setting for tonight?s festivities, but not all haunted house stories are like that. Actually the weather was quite nice considering the massive heat wave that ended August had recently passed. Yes, sophomore year had begun in high school. The school part of it was hardly an issue, that?s what freshman year was for. The big ?excitement? this year was that I had joined the basketball team. Actually it was due to my parents? persistence that I join an athletic club to become more active that I even joined. Admittedly I had become somewhat heavy in recent years. Not find mind you, just not thin or muscular in any particular way. To be quite honest I only chose the basketball team because it?s indoors most of the time and at least it?s fun to play. I suppose the comradery was another thing to look forward too?in it?s own weird way. The team?s unofficial tradition seems to take all the new players (myself included, being new to the team) to some old run down house from a long time ago on the edge of the town?s edge. The parade of the two other cars ahead of us was carrying the rest of the team.?

The cars pulled to a stop at the circle signaling the dead endedness of the road the three vehicles had pulled into. The sun was beginning to set in the distance of the plain field ahead where the thin line of concrete signaling the barrier between the town and the adjacent interstate separated the town from the rest of the world. Vacant lots surrounding the cul-de-sac show plots where houses had used to be, but for some reason or another were taken down when families grew old and moved out. Actually, one house still stood, but it was far older than any of the houses that had previously stood. The cul-de-sac ended at a sharp hill, and the base of the hill laid the ?trial house? as the higher-ranking team members liked to put it.

After parking the cars, the new recruits and the ?advising? senior members shuffled out. While most of the new members were incoming freshmen, James Williams was, as previously mentioned, just a slightly out of shape student in need of a sports activity. While in worse shape than his taller and more muscular teammates in the upper grades, he was still slightly larger than the younger newbies. In physical appearance he didn?t seem to differentiate himself too much from his peers. Everyone tended to dress in shorts of some kind with shirts of various designs from stores in the mall. James? messy brown hair being the most notable of distinguishable traits between his teammates, at least in terms of physical appearance.

After everyone was out, the team captain Larry, a tall and muscular black senior practically guaranteed a scholarship at a leading school, popped the trunk open to reveal a large quantity of six-pack Budweiser beers.

?Oh so that?s what this is about!? laughed a smaller freshman, one that had been slightly twitchy in the car ride with James. ?I thought this was some kind of torture test or something, ya know to prove our toughness??

?Dude that?s just an excuse to take you guys out here? sarcastically replied Eric, a tall but lanky junior. ?It?s just to welcome guys in, it?s not like we can tell them it?s to do some drinking.?
?Not that the coach has any problems with it, ya know we just can?t admit to doing it. So long as no one does anything stupid.? Larry replied, beginning his decent down the sharp incline.
The hill ending the road had a very sharp incline. Actually the run down broken home was practically invisible unless you were standing at the very edge of decline. James followed the rest of the group of twelve or so guys; half upper classmen, the rest consisting of James and the lowly freshmen. James almost caught his foot on a large rock stuck in the ground on the way down, but it wasn?t a problem as there weren?t any casualties on the way down.

The back of the house ended practically where the hill?s incline began, everyone had to stop somewhat abruptly, but besides the loss of a couple six-packs hitting the ground, it was all good. One of the upperclassmen made a snarky remark about not opening those at the start, unless they?re given to the freshmen of course.

The highway in the distance seemed slightly more difficult to see now that everyone was at eye level with the ground they were previously above. It made the run down dump seem even more isolated than it really was. James was a fan of those Seeing Eye puzzles, and could tell it was merely perspective. ?No wonder no one ever bought this plot afterwards, it?s such an odd place to build a house.? James thought as the group made their way around towards the front of the house.
James was always rather impulsively attentive to detail. Based on the design, and all the moss, vines, etc. covering the wood paned outside of the barely two floored home, it must?ve stood for actual living sometime in the 1950?s. Practically every windowpane had fallen off. Some were just plain missing while many had just fallen off and were laying next to the house in various pieces. However, many visible windows still had various curtains still covering them from the inside. Some of the lower wood panes to the house had large holes in them. No doubt some animals dwelled beneath them, but as long as there weren?t any inside the house, it wouldn?t be a big deal.

Needless to say, the door was hardly cooperative when the tried to enter. After some light pushing, the small but heavy brown front door. Some swearing occurred when the door nearly fell off it?s horribly rusted hinges. Someone made a joke how it?s only used once a year anyway, and that maybe it would be better to just let it fall.

The group filled into the narrow hallway in the front, but immediately turned right into a large living space. Inside James saw that the inside the house was as color-less as the outside. Everything that was left over from the previous owners, what little there was, had turned into a nasty, dusty shade of brownish gunk. While only a large and heavy table and a big cabinet remained, a large number of lawn chairs had accumulated, no doubt left from previous members of the team. Seniors and juniors simply began to bang them down to get the dust off. It was already very dark and difficult to see inside the house.

?I suppose a light switch would be too much to ask for?? James questioned, feeling the wall for a switch. When flipped, it did pretty much nothing.

?You really think this place would still have power? The guys at the electric company wouldn?t be that stupid? I think.? Eric prodded, setting up four different portable camping lights on the large table in the center of the room. When they were all turned on, it was easy enough to see, even if most of what was to be seen was vast quantities of dust and broken pieces of floorboard.

The ?trial? was going without a hitch. It was late into the night, or was it the wee hours of the morning? James really couldn?t tell based on the passage of time alone. Most of the beer that was brought was clearly not in the cans anymore. Apparently the test was just to see how much the younger kids could hold, especially since they never had anything like it before. Some were more than a little wasted. The upperclassmen, while buzzed, were just getting a kick of the ?little kids? acting like idiots.

Even though he was a new recruit, James didn?t really have anything to drink. In fact, half of his first can was still full. ?Mr. Captain? and the rest of the upper classmen seemed to be courteous enough to understand James? unwillingness to participate in the drinking festivities. He was more amused at the impressionable freshmen that drank more than the rest to look big towards the others. Hours passed and it must?ve been well into the next day, and most of the drinking had cause a lot of sleeping freshmen. Many of the upperclassmen went to sleep in the cars up at the hill (since the entertainment had mostly passed out), but Larry and James stayed in the house to make sure the hangover was as painful as possible when they all awoke. Some periods of alertness and stumbling about still occurred though, and it was always hilarious.

At one point one of the kids woke up and went to go sit on one of the many misconstrued lawn chairs about the room. James, while tired himself, sat around talking with Larry while not a lot of activity occurred. As the bumbling freshmen attempted to sit down, he fell flat on his back in front of the chair. Out of the corner of his eye, James thought the chair moved on it?s own a small amount. But it?s not like he thought much of it. Drunken people misjudging distances was the foundation of hilarious tapes of parties and the like.

?Damn? that hurt. Gah, my head.? Called the freshmen, picking himself up, still a little woozy from the beer.

?How?s the hangover kid?? Joked Larry, aware that his smaller schoolmate was apparently more aware than he was a couple hours ago.

?Fine? just a really, really painful buzz in my head.? The kid replied, attempting to sit on the chair again. As the second attempt commenced, James could definitely tell that the chair moved ever so slightly. When the kid sat now at the edge of the chair, it folding chair snapped and tried to close, causing him to fall to the floor again.

James immediately turned his head around to the hallway, where the stairs were slightly visible. He could?ve sworn he heard a faint voice say ?Damn, that should?ve at least smacked that ass in the head. That would?ve been funny.?

?What?s up?? Larry asked, aware that James? attention had turned elsewhere from the annoyingly hung-over freshman.

?Uh, just thought I heard something. I must be tired.? James replied, turning back towards all the lights in the center of the room.

?Dude, you?re not even drunk. You?ve gotta be the biggest lightweight I?ve seen at one of these.? Larry laughed at James? apparent goof up.

?That guy?s gotta be the dumbest of them all, seriously? sounded the little voice from before. This time James tried to ignore the apparent non-existent voice.

After the freshman finally was able to get into the all-important chair, a slight bang of something falling came from the hallway. Between previous the last couple of creepy occurrences, this caused James to jump slightly.

?Chill man, I?ll check it out.? Larry sighed, grabbing one of the camping lights and heading into the hallway. He didn?t even leave from view when he picked up a picture frame with a finally broken string holding it to the wall. The frame was empty of course, but it was left hanging for all this time. ?See, it was nothing.?

?Actually that was an accident you stupid prick.?

James really felt like going somewhere else at the moment. He knew it must?ve just been him, but it was still unnerving.

?I?m going outside to the restroom dude.? Larry called, taking one of the lights with him outside.

?What, no restroom here?? James replied.

?Dude, you wanna see what the inside of the bathroom in this place looks like??

?Good point.?

At this point the kid in the chair had fallen back asleep, and it was almost eerily quiet in the old house. James sat there pondering the situation, and wondering how it always conveniently takes someone forever to use the restroom in these situations. After a while he began to think that a practical joke was about to commence, since James didn?t partake in much of the drinking festivities.

?Guess we?ll just do this the old fashioned way.?

While staring at the ground, or nothing in particular, the empty frame left on the large wooden table suddenly flew up and smacked James right in the face. Muttering under his breath James jumped to his feet from the surprise, getting up from the lawn chair he had just occupied. As he stood, the bottom of the leg of the table suddenly landed square on James? foot. Now James was more than in the swearing mood, as the table was a lot heavier than it merely looked.

James looked around for what might have done anything even close to what had happened. Looking around the only people in the room were the sleeping freshmen misconstrued along the floor and chairs around the open area. James just walked the table bewildered as to what could?ve caused it to move like that.

?God this guy is dense??

Being in a different position in the room allowed James to tell that the voice seemed to be coming from above on the second floor. Directly above the room he was in. Despite better judgment, James took one of the three remaining camp lights and headed towards the stairway. When he turned right towards the stairs instead of left by the door, he heard the voice again.
?Oh you?ve got to be kidding. Is this guy just stupid??

?No, I?m not, I?m just finding where you are.? James attempted to call back, taking his first steps up the stairway. Oddly, he didn?t get a reply from the cold voice from before. He just walked up the stairwell into the incredibly narrow second floor.

Upstairs was what could hardly be called a second floor. To the left were only two doors, presumably a bedroom and something else. However, on the right hand side was only one door to a slightly less high side of the ceiling. This obviously made the decision far easier to judge which room it was coming from.

Apparently not even the annual trip to the house ever disturbed the second floor. Walking alone puffed up large patches of dust that probably haven?t been bothered for years. Turning around the stairwell?s banister, James stood in front of the only door on that side of the top level. The light from the handheld light showed that this floor was in even worse shape than the base floor. Leaky roofs and years of abandonment left a soggy and damp feeling about the place. Anxiously he stood in front of the door sinister looking door. James placed his hand on the knob, prepared to step inside.

?If you can hear me, get intercourse  out.? Surprised at actually getting a response, James decided to reply before entering.

?Saying something like that won?t get anyone to do what you want, you know that right?? He replied, with a slight shake in his voice, more that a bit nervous at the entire situation.

?You don?t leave and I promise you won?t like it?

?There?s nothing in this hallway, it?s not like you can throw stuff at me.? James said back, gaining more confidence against this mysterious voice. James stood there alone, with no reply for a moment when suddenly a head appeared at his face level right through the door.

?I mean it! Get out!?

The shock almost caused James to flip over the railing and onto the stairs, causing a heavy shudder on the unstable banister. It felt like the house shook a little just from that impact. Turning back to face the, well, face, James got a better look at who had been pulling the unfriendly ?pranks? from before.

A young girl was halfway through the door. While she was quite small, James could tell from her face that she had to at least be in middle school.  She had dirty blonde-brownish hair that dropped to just below her shoulders. It seemed to wrap around her head, covering the sides of her face and the very tips of her eyes from the sides. Her face, as well as the rest of her body, was very thin and very fragile looking. Thin brown eyebrows lay above big, deep hazel eyes. Black straps of a small black dress covered her boney shoulders, with the dress covering the rest of her torso. From the waist down the rest of her was still behind the door.

?This?can?t be real right?? James thought to himself. Even though he was looking straight at one, he still couldn?t believe he was seeing a real live ghost. **James even made a mental note of the absurdity of that last comment.**

?W-why should I?? James tentatively barked back, curious as to what was even going on.

?Because I said so. Trust me you won?t like it. It?s bad enough you?re the only person who?s been able to hear and see me.? The girl replied, still with the stern look in her eye that screamed ?Don?t mess with me?. Summoning what little sense he could make of the situation, James decided to mess with the girl who had previously messed with him. Nothing like a little payback in his eyes.

?Now I?m curious as to what?s in there if you don?t want me in there so badly, Miss Ghost.? James said back, trying to sound a lot more confident than he really was. While the handle was of no use, James began to lightly push against the door to get the thing to budge.

?I-I mean it. I s-swear you won?t like it!? The ghost girl replied, retreating back into the room. Inside James could hear the lighter furniture being moved to block the door. Not only was it stuck in place, now some objects were placed in front of the door.

James began pushing harder than he was previously. After a few moments of physically trying, James started to feel a bit winded with all the dust in the area. With all the effort she was putting into this, James was now quite curious as to what was in the room that she didn?t want to be seen so badly. Finally, James took a stepping start and pushed against the heavy wooden door as much as he could. The frame shook open in a jolt, with some light furniture being pushed out of the door?s path. The weight of the shove rattled the top floor to shake anything without enough weight to stick to the floor on it?s own. Giving the light a moment to take in the room, he immediately turned back around after what he saw for that brief instance.

Hanging from the ceiling fan was a strand of rope hanging the body that was similar to the girl he had just witnessed. The body hung from the neck, and swung slightly back and forth from the shaking of the house. While her back was facing the door, James caught a glimpse of the arms and torso that appeared to be just skin and bone. James forced himself to turn and take another look, if only to confirm what he just saw.

Looking back, James saw the small black dress the girl was wearing went down to her knees, but seemed huge covering what little mass the body had left. While her feet were bare, there were some pink flip-flop sandals lying on the floor under the body. What was obviously the ghost girl?s body must?ve remained there for more than it?s share of time. The sight of a dead body just limply hanging there, James just felt nauseous beyond any he felt before. He only made it to the top of the stairs before puking in the corner.



The next morning James rested on the bed in his room. After telling his upperclassmen teammates what he had discovered, and giving them ample time to clean up the alcoholic mess and informing the freshmen to keep quiet, they used their cells to call the police about the body.

After much attention was brought about what was going on after the police arrived, the group of boys were given only a small slap on the wrist for staying in the house at night without telling anyone. James was glad everyone got off scot free, but that couldn?t shake his uneasiness about the entire situation. It?s not every day you find a body literally hanging around like that.
James was about to get up from his worrisome events. He leaned up from his lying position on his back, to see the ghost girl?s body half-way through his bed and glaring back at him.

[Dog Food]

Possible love between the ghost and James? It'd be interesting for her to start liking him, and him to get a girlfriend, then for her to raise hell in jealousy.

[Nayrman]

Possible love between the ghost and James? It'd be interesting for her to start liking him, and him to get a girlfriend, then for her to raise hell in jealousy.

She's actually supposed to be the audience's stand in. Hence the title "observe".
Not that I'm above using silly ghost jokes every now and again X_X;;

[Red]

Sounds interesting, can't wait to read the first chapter.

[Nayrman]

Sounds interesting, can't wait to read the first chapter.

It's up XD
As the update says, I expected this to be a lot longer of a first chapter, but my god it took me so long just to write that much, I sort of moved some plot points for later. ;_;

[Red]

It's up XD
As the update says, I expected this to be a lot longer of a first chapter, but my god it took me so long just to write that much, I sort of moved some plot points for later. ;_;

Fuck you. Seriously? The chapter was supposed to be longer than that? Mine pales in comparison to this gargantuan beast. Maybe I should combine the first two chapters, because the second continues the minute the first left off, but still...

But I like it more than Naria, so keep it up. D:

[Nayrman]

f*** you. Seriously? The chapter was supposed to be longer than that? Mine pales in comparison to this gargantuan beast. Maybe I should combine the first two chapters, because the second continues the minute the first left off, but still...

But I like it more than Naria, so keep it up. D:

This is only six pages. The way I planned on writing this chapter is was easily going to go over ten, and I REALLY didn't want to cram that much stuff in one chapter for a post on the forum like this.
You really like this better than Naria?

[Red]

This is only six pages. The way I planned on writing this chapter is was easily going to go over ten, and I REALLY didn't want to cram that much stuff in one chapter for a post on the forum like this.
You really like this better than Naria?

Mine's barely one. page. T___T Maybe I'll just have a lot of small chapters.

Perhaps I should have worded that better. I think the first chapter of this is better than the first chapter of Naria. But whereas Naria got better each chapter (3 being my favorite) this hasn't been written yet.

Wow, that was worded terribly.

[Nayrman]

Mine's barely one. page. T___T Maybe I'll just have a lot of small chapters.

Perhaps I should have worded that better. I think the first chapter of this is better than the first chapter of Naria. But whereas Naria got better each chapter (3 being my favorite) this hasn't been written yet.

Wow, that was worded terribly.

I hate the first chapters to anything really, especially stuff I'm writing. Of course I know how it works, I'm freaking writing it! So just in terms of time spent I hate writing how things work, etc. just because I already know them.
Woo boy I look back at Naria's first chapter and it's so "eh". It's the general set-up I want but in terms of written word it's so needlessly long. Something like that would take maybe five minutes of actual screen time.
I actually somewhat detest Chapter 3 in that story... Parts of it I like, other parts I really hate.

[Red]

I hate the first chapters to anything really, especially stuff I'm writing. Of course I know how it works, I'm freaking writing it! So just in terms of time spent I hate writing how things work, etc. just because I already know them.
Woo boy I look back at Naria's first chapter and it's so "eh". It's the general set-up I want but in terms of written word it's so needlessly long. Something like that would take maybe five minutes of actual screen time.
I actually somewhat detest Chapter 3 in that story... Parts of it I like, other parts I really hate.

I know what you mean. I hate first chapters. they're basically "Hi there. Here's the main character. Here's his current love interest." and then the story actually doesn't progress until chapter 2.

You didn't like chapter 3? Some parts of it are admittedly bad, but the way you wrote it made it very enjoyable.

[Nayrman]

I know what you mean. I hate first chapters. they're basically "Hi there. Here's the main character. Here's his current love interest." and then the story actually doesn't progress until chapter 2.

You didn't like chapter 3? Some parts of it are admittedly bad, but the way you wrote it made it very enjoyable.

Bring it to the actual Naria thread if we're going to talk about it anymore. But it's not my best thought out chapter.