NSFCD

Hey everybody. This is an idea for a manga that I've been working on, and so far, I can only show you in writing, and since I wasn't sure where to put this, I decided to put it here, unless it needs to be moved.

The story is about a boy named Kazuki Yukino, a 16 year old teen who has always felt as if something was wrong. One day, a girl named Kagizaki Urichi shows up outside his balcony window (five stories up... XD), claiming that she was a kitsune and saying that Kazuki was as well. it turns out that this was true, and his mother and father were kitsunes from the future, where the world is still recuperating from war. Also, demons from the legends of Feudal Japan had been reborn because of a teen girl many, many years earlier.

More will be told as this goes on, so relax and read up. Let me get in some edit posts first, so don't post yet.

Chapter Selection:

Chapter 1 (below)
Chapter 2 (http://nsiderforums.net/index.php?topic=13545.msg175526#msg175526)
Chapter 3 (http://nsiderforums.net/index.php?topic=13545.msg177955#msg177955)
Chapter 4 (http://nsiderforums.net/index.php?topic=13545.msg232660#msg232660)
Chapter 5 (http://nsiderforums.net/index.php?topic=13545.msg232911#msg232911)

Character Profiles:

Artwork (for when I get a scanner...):

... You dared to escape from me...
... If out is what you want, then it is what you shall receive...
... But not here among your own kind...
... When one child learns the truth before you tell them...
... That is the only reason you will be able to return...
... Insolent fools...


Chapter 1: A Strange Visitor

     The snow had already fallen heavily over the area, still drifting flakes over the fields and towns. Through one of the few remaining forests, noise could just be heard. The sound of someone rushing through the white blanket draping the ground could be heard by some of the animals in the trees or walking silently.
     "I know I can smell it... It's faint... But it's there..."
     A blur of color was all that could be seen, if anything at all. The forest stopped, and a city stretched out suddenly from only several feet away from the edge of the trees. Many smells mingled around the city, but the one still noticeable.
     "Hmm? What's with this city? Not too bad..."
     Her eyes glinted as the scent then got a bit stronger.
     "Whoever this is... They're close..."
     Kazuki Yukino was leaning on the end of his bed, the controller of the video game in his hands. The analog stick and the buttons were being pushed so fast, no-one could probably be able to keep up with him.
     "And..." He said quietly to himself. The screen flashed the word "Winner!" over and over. "... Another one bites the dust." He got up and pushed the power button, shutting it off. Kazuki set the controller down next to the small console and flopped back down on his bed.
     Kazuki seemed like any other 16 year old that you'd meet. His hair was a light brown, wild bangs blue and going everywhere, even as he brushed them aside. His light green eyes, which he got a lot of attention for, gazed up at the spinning ceiling fan. He was getting that feeling again. The feeling of something not being quite right went through his mind, just like it always does when he's alone and has time to think.
     "Kazuki?" Came the voice of his mother through the now open door. "Eiichiro is here."
     "You can let him in." Kazuki answered as he sat up. A few seconds later, and Eiichiro peered around the door frame.
     "Hey, Kazuki. Hope now's not a bad time..." He said as he came more into view.
     "Ah, not at all. Come on in." Kazuki said as he motioned Eiichiro in.
     His full name was Eiichiro Takame. He had smoothed down black hair and deep blue eyes. You could tell that he was a bit shorter than Kazuki as he sat down on the opposite side of the bed.
     "So did you hear about the new movie coming out in a few weeks? I heard it's going to be amazing." Eiichiro began. He seemed quite exited about it.
     "Oh, yeah, I think I saw a commercial for it a bit earlier... It didn't look that impressive to me." Kazuki replied back to him as he shrugged. Eiichiro just looked at him in shock and disbelief.
     "What the heck are you talking about, Kazuki?! It's going to be amazing! Didn't you see those graphics?!" Eiichiro began to ramble on. Apparently, he was one of those people who liked good visual effects.
     "It's not the graphics; it's the st-..." Kazuki started off, but before he could finish, there was a loud sound at the window, like something ran into it. "... Uh... What the heck was that?"
     Before Eiichiro could answer anything, the balcony door slid open. What appeared to be a person under a very large cloak crept in, and then closing the door behind him. Or her. Or whoever it was. The person then proceeded to quietly tip-toe around the bed, and start to head towards the bedroom door.
     "Uh... Who the heck are you?!" Kazuki said rather loudly. As soon as he said that, the figure jumped in terror, flinging the cloak into the air to reveal a girl about Kazuki's age.
     She had purplish-red colored hair which flipped up in many places, and very light brown eyes that almost looked yellow. The clothes she had on were very strange. But the strangest thing was her ears. They were pointed.
     "Crap! Uh..." She said, still a bit worried. She threw out her arm. "Dasshutsu!" She just stood there as nothing happened. Kazuki and Eiichiro just sat there, staring at were with confused looks. "... What the heck?! Why isn't anything working?!"
     "Uh... We just asked you who you were..." Kazuki said, now somewhat creeped out. He was wondering whether there was something wrong with whatever she was trying to do or if there was something wrong with her head.
     "Eh... My name is Kagizaki Urichi, and-" She began, but then she started to smell the air. She then began to walk quickly over to Kazuki. Now she was smelling him. "... You smell like kitsune." Kazuki just looked at her really weird.
     "Uh... What??" Kazuki asked in complete confusion.
     "... Are you a kitsune? Because you smell really good for one, I'm telling you..." Kagizaki continued on, as she kept smelling him.
     "Will you please get off of me?!" Kazuki shouted, as Kagizaki was basically on top of him now.
     "... Whoops..." Kagizaki finally realized, slowly crawling off of him. Eiichiro was just confused as heck about what she was saying. A kitsune was a Japanese fox demon, and Kazuki smelled like one? "Yeah, I guess I smelt you all the way from that forest outside of town... me and my nose..." She looked a little embarrassed now and had her hand on the back of her head.
     "Wait... You smelt him from all the way out there??" Eiichiro asked her, still not believing what she was saying. "... Well, how'd you do that?! And how would you know what a kitsune would smell like, anyway?!"
     "Oh, that's easy... I'm a kitsune." She happily answered.
     "Wait... What??" Kazuki said in near disbelief. "But..." He looked at her ears again. "... That would explain why her ears are like that, I guess..." Eiichiro thought about it a moment.
     "Well, it just really seems too far fetched to be true... That could just be some really good make up job." While they went on, Kagizaki mumbled a bit to herself.
     "No wonder the city was in such good shape... It's from before the war... That would also explain why I can't use my abilities... Oh, man..." She rambled, talking only with her own self. They had stopped talking to listen to her. Then she stopped, and there was another long silence. "...What?" Eiichiro just thought of something.
     "Uh, Kazuki? How far up is your apartment, exactly?" He asked, suddenly seeming even more creeped out than before.
     "Hmm... I'd say we're about five stories up. Why?" Kazuki replied, unsure of what Eiichiro had going in his head. At that, Eiichiro just looked flabbergasted.
     "Then how'd she get up to your balcony?!" Eiichiro exclaimed, waving one of his arms over to the balcony window. Kazuki just sat there a moment, taking in the information.
     "Uh..." Kazuki began, with a really confused look.
     "Oh, I just jumped up from some of the other buildings and then climbed up really quick from the other floors. Not that hard..." Kagizaki said, while they just looked at her even weirder.
     "... Wow..." Eiichiro mumbled, still very creeped out. Kazuki had now gone into deep thought. He looked back on all the times that he had done something no-one else could, times that he was picked on. And then came to mind of those hours thinking that something wasn't right. Maybe this was it.
     "Maybe I am a kitsune... But I'm still not entirely sure..." Kazuki thought to himself. "I need time to think about this..."
     "Well, I'll leave that to you to believe or not... So I guess I'll be going." Kagizaki said. And with that, she walked back over to the window. She turned back to him. "And you really do have a nice kitsune smell on you..." With that, she opened the balcony door, and leapt out of sight. Kazuki still thought. Still thought...


You may now post. :)

I've waited forever to get to read this, but it was worth it. ^_^

Quote from: Nils_13 on December 25, 2007, 04:46:02 PM
I've waited forever to get to read this, but it was worth it. ^_^

Thanks. :) Now we just need more people to read it... XD

Hm... I like the idea of kitsunes, and the story itself is very well written. There weren't too many grammar or spelling mistakes... Sentences weren't choppy, and dialogue wasn't used in excess... Overall, this story seems pretty good, and I will continue reading it as more chapters get posted.

Quote from: Triforce_Luigi on December 25, 2007, 05:19:22 PM
Hm... I like the idea of kitsunes, and the story itself is very well written. There weren't too many grammar or spelling mistakes... Sentences weren't choppy, and dialogue wasn't used in excess... Overall, this story seems pretty good, and I will continue reading it as more chapters get posted.

Thanks. :)

All right, now for a Christmas surprise! I shall put up chapter 2 now, so here it is. :)

Chapter 2: Is It Truth?

     It was the next day, and Kazuki was going home from school. The sun was a bit brighter, but it was also colder. Kazuki was still thinking about how Kagizaki had just shown up and told him all that. A kitsune... Was it even possible for there to be anymore in this time, let alone have them exist in the first place?
     "Hey! Kazuki!" Came a shout from far behind him. Kazuki turned to see who it was. Shiori Karuda and Hibiki Fuumikato were running up to him, along with Eiichiro.
     Shiori was a girl about the same age as Kazuki. She had long, dark blond hair tied into three ponytails. Her hazel eyes seemed to just tell him that Eiichiro had told him what happened the day before.
     Hibiki was probably the tallest out of all four of them, but still the same age. His hair was short, spiked, and a bluish-gray color. His dark brown eyes just seemed confused at the moment.
     "Oh... hey guys." Kazuki said with his eyes a bit more wide now.
     "Hibiki and I heard about what happened yesterday at your apartment." Shiori said as she stopped right in front of him. Yup. Eiichiro told them. "So that weird girl said that you were a... a what again?"
     "A kitsune..." Kazuki repied to her.
     "Right, a kitsune... And she said she was one too?" Shiori started again.
     "Yeah..." Kazuki said a bit more quietly now, not sure of what she was going to say next. There was a long pause.
     "Jeez, that girl must have been a nut job then!" Shiori said with a laughing smile on her face. The rest of them just looked at her for a moment. "... What?"
     "You know... The way that Eiichiro explained it, I don't think she would have been lying..." Hibiki started explaining. "For one, you two saw that she had pointed ears, and then you find out that she had jumped across buildings to get up to your floor..."
     "Then to top it off, she jumped out the window afterwards." Kazuki added in.
     "Well, when you put it that way..." Shiori began. "... It must have been one of those candid camera show things!" She laughed a bit from that, and there was another long silence.
     "Still..." Kazuki began to think again. "I want to know whether it's true or not..." Now he began to remember a moment back when he was in the fourth grade...

     "Looks like Yukino here did it again." Said the Phys Ed teacher as she was looking at the stop watch. "Yet another new record." The other students groaned at this, and Kazuki gave a weak smile.
     "Man, he always gets a new record... And nobody can keep up with him!" Complained one of the students behind Kazuki.
     It was now a bit later, and Kazuki was walking home with Eiichiro, Hibiki, and Shiori. The same kid from earlier, along with a few others, started to come up behind him.
    "Hey! Yukino!" The boy shouted up to Kazuki. The four of them tuned to see who it was.
     "Oh, it's him again... let's just go, guys..." Said Shiori, motioning the others to start walking away.
     "Hey, we just want to talk!" The boy shouted to them again as they sped up to keep with them. The boys made it up to them and surrounded them. "Hey, all I want to do is ask you some questions..." With that, the boy shoved Kazuki to the ground.
     "Stop it!" Shouted Shiori as she went to try and help Kazuki, but another one of the boys held her back.
     "All right then... How come you run that fast, huh?!" The boy started to taunt Kazuki. "What are ya, some kind of freak?!"

     The words seemed to just reverberate through Kazuki's head. Now he really didn't know what to think. Now Kazuki really had to know, and by now, there were only 2 people who could possibly answer him; his mother and father.
     "Look, uh... I need to head home now..." Kazuki said, turning to rush to his apartment. "I'll see ya..." He went and started to take off running.
     "Wh-? Kazuki, wait!" Shiori shouted, but she knew that she couldn't keep up with him the way he ran.
     The more Kazuki thought about it, the more he kept thinking that it just might be true. But the fact that kitsunes were basically only in Japanese legends still swayed him off from it. Still, Kazuki had to know the truth. He arrived at his building, and without even bothering to take the elevator, he began to run up the stairs. It took him a few minutes, but he made it to his floor. Dashing down the hall, he stopped at his door and quickly opened it.
     "Oh, hey, it's you again!" Came the familiar voice of Kagizaki. Kazuki just stopped in his tracks and looked at her, sitting at the table and waving to him.
     "Um... Hi." Kazuki replied back to her a bit shocked. "Uh... What are you doing here?"
     "Oh, I just thought I'd stop by again and see how you were." Kagizaki replied to him with a smile.
     "Well, all right..." Kazuki said, now gone from shocked to just a bit confused. "Look, do you know if my parents are here?"
     "Yes, dear, we're here." Came the voice of Kazuki's mother from the kitchen as she leaned her head into his view. His father had walked out from the hall where their bedrooms were.
     "Mom, dad?" He began to ask. Kazuki hesitated a moment, but now the need to know was too great. "... Am I a kitsune??" His father suddenly looked heavily surprised. The sound of a dish dropping on the ground and breaking came from the kitchen, and Kazuki's mother came out with the exact same expression. "Well??"
     "Wh... When did you-?" His mother began. Kazuki pointed right at Kagizaki.
     "She told me. Right after she came in my balcony window yesterday." Kazuki said. Kagizaki just sat there with a happy, yet guilty look.
     "Well... Um..." Began his dad. "You see... She's not wrong at all." Kazuki now looked a little shocked. "In fact... Your mother and I are also kitsunes." Kazuki slowly walked over to the table and sat down in a chair.
     "So... When were you planning on telling me this?" Kazuki asked wondering when he would have leaned the truth.
     "That's the thing... We really weren't going to tell you..." His mother said, stepping up closer to him. Kazuki just looked at her shocked.
     "Why? Because you didn't want me to go through some burden of knowledge or something??" Kazuki said, now a bit angry that they wouldn't let him know.
     "No, it's nothing anywhere close to that!" His father tried to reassure him. "The thing is... if we had told you ourselves, we would have no chance of being able to return to our own time."
     "Wha...?" Kazuki said, now more confused than shocked. "Our own time...?"
     "Yes... You see..." His mother said as she knelt down next to him. "We aren't from this time period, but a time in the future..." Kazuki just continued to look confused.
     "What would the year be once we returned?" His father began. "We got banished in 2182; it's been 17 years... I'd say it'd be somewhere in 2199 by now." Kazuki had the most stunned face by now. 2199? That would be almost 192 years.
     "21... 99?" Kazuki said, almost not being able to speak.
     "2199? That's the year I came from!" Kagizaki exclaimed, surprised and somewhat relieved. "I accidentally time traveled too far back, and now there isn't any spiritual energy in this time, so I'm stuck here..." She now had an embarrassed look on her face.
     "Is that so?" Kazuki's mother asked. "Say... What would your name happen to be? You seem familiar in some way, and you didn't mention your name yet..."
     "Oh, my name's Kagizaki Urichi." She answered happily. All of a sudden, Kazuki's parents seemed very happy and somewhat relived.
     "So you're old Goro's kid, eh?" Kazuki's father asked her with a smile on his face. "Surprised he actually started a family." He laughed a bit. Kagizaki just looked at him a moment, but then had a look of surprise on her face.
     "Wait... Jiro Yukino?!" Kagizaki exclaimed as she just looked at Kazuki's father. "And Aimi Yukino?! My dad kept saying that you two were dead!" She was just in complete surprise. "Oh... wait... Was it-?"
     "Yeah... But at least now we can get back, thanks to you." Aimi said to Kagizaki with a smile. Meanwhile, Kazuki was just about to the point of being confusion incarnate, with the near clueless look on his face. They looked back to him, and there was a bit of a silence.
     "Uh... Wait, what?" Kazuki said with the same look.
     "Oh, well basically, we knew her father when we were in our own time." Said Jiro.
     "Ah... Okay..." Replied Kazuki, still a bit confused. Jiro looked at the clock.
     "Well, I think the opening to the time fusion tunnel is going to open in about several hours." He began. "We'll have to pack up and get ready to head back to our time." Jiro turned to Kazuki. "That'll also be enough time to say good-bye to your friends." Kazuki just looked at him. He thought for quite a while.
    "... Good bye?" Kazuki thought to himself.

OOH, that's gonna get awkward if he tells his friends. But he can't 'cause they'll think he's out of his mind. But people would wonder if he randomly disappeared.

I liked this chapter. Left some room for guesswork.

Quote from: Triforce_Luigi on December 25, 2007, 05:40:03 PM
OOH, that's gonna get awkward if he tells his friends. But he can't 'cause they'll think he's out of his mind. But people would wonder if he randomly disappeared.

I liked this chapter. Left some room for guesswork.

Thanks. That's what I was going for in this chapter. And the next chapter will be very surprising. ;)

Hmm... Not half bad!

+ Good dialogue.
+ Good use of vocabulary.
+ Barely any grammar or spelling mistakes.
+ Interesting plot.

- Characters are only somewhat believable; The way Kazuki believes about his destiny is a little weird.
- Format makes the story somewhat hard to read; Try double spacing after the end of each paragraph.

Current Score (not an average): 8/10

You're doing pretty good! Keep it up. ;D Btw, what is this based off of?

Quote from: LightningSword on December 25, 2007, 05:50:10 PM
Hmm... Not half bad!

+ Good dialogue.
+ Good use of vocabulary.
+ Barely any grammar or spelling mistakes.
+ Interesting plot.

- Characters are only somewhat believable; The way Kazuki believes about his destiny is a little weird.
- Format makes the story somewhat hard to read; Try double spacing after the end of each paragraph.

Current Score (not an average): 8/10

You're doing pretty good! Keep it up. ;D Btw, what is this based off of?

Well, to tell you the truth, this is an original idea that I made for a manga. I really didn't know where to put it, so I just put it here. ^_^;

Quote from: X_Hero on December 25, 2007, 05:52:48 PM

Quote from: LightningSword on December 25, 2007, 05:50:10 PM
Hmm... Not half bad!

+ Good dialogue.
+ Good use of vocabulary.
+ Barely any grammar or spelling mistakes.
+ Interesting plot.

- Characters are only somewhat believable; The way Kazuki believes about his destiny is a little weird.
- Format makes the story somewhat hard to read; Try double spacing after the end of each paragraph.

Current Score (not an average): 8/10

You're doing pretty good! Keep it up. ;D Btw, what is this based off of?

Well, to tell you the truth, this is an original idea that I made for a manga. I really didn't know where to put it, so I just put it here. ^_^;

Good idea. This place needs some good stories. The only ones here that I've read and want to continue to read are Winter Sun, The Melancholy of Amy Rose, and Your Memories Are Not Enough. Anyway, good luck with continuing the story!

Quote from: LightningSword on December 25, 2007, 06:02:37 PM

Quote from: X_Hero on December 25, 2007, 05:52:48 PM

Quote from: LightningSword on December 25, 2007, 05:50:10 PM
Hmm... Not half bad!

+ Good dialogue.
+ Good use of vocabulary.
+ Barely any grammar or spelling mistakes.
+ Interesting plot.

- Characters are only somewhat believable; The way Kazuki believes about his destiny is a little weird.
- Format makes the story somewhat hard to read; Try double spacing after the end of each paragraph.

Current Score (not an average): 8/10

You're doing pretty good! Keep it up. ;D Btw, what is this based off of?

Well, to tell you the truth, this is an original idea that I made for a manga. I really didn't know where to put it, so I just put it here. ^_^;

Good idea. This place needs some good stories. The only ones here that I've read and want to continue to read are Winter Sun, The Melancholy of Amy Rose, and Your Memories Are Not Enough. Anyway, good luck with continuing the story!

Thanks. :)

Quote from: X_Hero on December 25, 2007, 06:05:50 PM

Quote from: LightningSword on December 25, 2007, 06:02:37 PM

Quote from: X_Hero on December 25, 2007, 05:52:48 PM

Quote from: LightningSword on December 25, 2007, 05:50:10 PM
Hmm... Not half bad!

+ Good dialogue.
+ Good use of vocabulary.
+ Barely any grammar or spelling mistakes.
+ Interesting plot.

- Characters are only somewhat believable; The way Kazuki believes about his destiny is a little weird.
- Format makes the story somewhat hard to read; Try double spacing after the end of each paragraph.

Current Score (not an average): 8/10

You're doing pretty good! Keep it up. ;D Btw, what is this based off of?

Well, to tell you the truth, this is an original idea that I made for a manga. I really didn't know where to put it, so I just put it here. ^_^;

Good idea. This place needs some good stories. The only ones here that I've read and want to continue to read are Winter Sun, The Melancholy of Amy Rose, and Your Memories Are Not Enough. Anyway, good luck with continuing the story!

Thanks. :)

Since you like Pokemon (just a wild guess  ::)), I encourage you to also read Your Memories are Not Enough. It's long, but I think you'd like it.

Quote from: LightningSword on December 25, 2007, 06:07:54 PM

Quote from: X_Hero on December 25, 2007, 06:05:50 PM

Quote from: LightningSword on December 25, 2007, 06:02:37 PM

Quote from: X_Hero on December 25, 2007, 05:52:48 PM

Quote from: LightningSword on December 25, 2007, 05:50:10 PM
Hmm... Not half bad!

+ Good dialogue.
+ Good use of vocabulary.
+ Barely any grammar or spelling mistakes.
+ Interesting plot.

- Characters are only somewhat believable; The way Kazuki believes about his destiny is a little weird.
- Format makes the story somewhat hard to read; Try double spacing after the end of each paragraph.

Current Score (not an average): 8/10

You're doing pretty good! Keep it up. ;D Btw, what is this based off of?

Well, to tell you the truth, this is an original idea that I made for a manga. I really didn't know where to put it, so I just put it here. ^_^;

Good idea. This place needs some good stories. The only ones here that I've read and want to continue to read are Winter Sun, The Melancholy of Amy Rose, and Your Memories Are Not Enough. Anyway, good luck with continuing the story!

Thanks. :)

Since you like Pokemon (just a wild guess  ::)), I encourage you to also read Your Memories are Not Enough. It's long, but I think you'd like it.

Yeah, I'll take a look at it. :)

Quote from: LightningSword on December 25, 2007, 06:02:37 PM

Quote from: X_Hero on December 25, 2007, 05:52:48 PM

Quote from: LightningSword on December 25, 2007, 05:50:10 PM
Hmm... Not half bad!

+ Good dialogue.
+ Good use of vocabulary.
+ Barely any grammar or spelling mistakes.
+ Interesting plot.

- Characters are only somewhat believable; The way Kazuki believes about his destiny is a little weird.
- Format makes the story somewhat hard to read; Try double spacing after the end of each paragraph.

Current Score (not an average): 8/10

You're doing pretty good! Keep it up. ;D Btw, what is this based off of?

Well, to tell you the truth, this is an original idea that I made for a manga. I really didn't know where to put it, so I just put it here. ^_^;

Good idea. This place needs some good stories. The only ones here that I've read and want to continue to read are Winter Sun, The Melancholy of Amy Rose, and Your Memories Are Not Enough. Anyway, good luck with continuing the story!

I'm flattered that my story actually got read...

Quote from: Triforce_Luigi on December 25, 2007, 06:20:31 PM

Quote from: LightningSword on December 25, 2007, 06:02:37 PM

Quote from: X_Hero on December 25, 2007, 05:52:48 PM

Quote from: LightningSword on December 25, 2007, 05:50:10 PM
Hmm... Not half bad!

+ Good dialogue.
+ Good use of vocabulary.
+ Barely any grammar or spelling mistakes.
+ Interesting plot.

- Characters are only somewhat believable; The way Kazuki believes about his destiny is a little weird.
- Format makes the story somewhat hard to read; Try double spacing after the end of each paragraph.

Current Score (not an average): 8/10

You're doing pretty good! Keep it up. ;D Btw, what is this based off of?

Well, to tell you the truth, this is an original idea that I made for a manga. I really didn't know where to put it, so I just put it here. ^_^;

Good idea. This place needs some good stories. The only ones here that I've read and want to continue to read are Winter Sun, The Melancholy of Amy Rose, and Your Memories Are Not Enough. Anyway, good luck with continuing the story!

I'm flattered that my story actually got read...

It wasn't really that bad! It's just that this board is almost dead. >_<

Almost dead? That is the understatement of the century.

All right, the third chapter is ready, so here ya go! ;D

Chapter 3: The Way to the Future

     A few hours was now gone since Kazuki had figured out the truth. The truth about him being a kitsune. Night had fallen, and it was now even colder that it had been all day. Maybe even the coldest of the season, but Kazuki couldn't tell. He was walking down the street, and it started to snow again. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out three letters. One for Eiichiro, one for Shiori, and one for Hibiki. Kazuki couldn't find the courage to tell them in person that he really was a kitsune from the future, and that he was leaving that very night.

     "I've... Just known them so long..." Kazuki began to think to himself. "This is the only way... That I can let them go." His first stop was at Eiichiro's house. Kazuki began to think back to when he had first met Eiichiro.

     Kazuki's mother was dropping him off as usual, and as Kazuki was getting out of the car, he noticed a new kid being dropped off about two cars behind him. Kazuki was usually very nice in the second grade, so he had decided to greet this new student to the school. After the cars had begun to pull away, he walked over to the boy and came up next to him.

     "Hi, my name's Kazuki! What's yours?" Kazuki greeted the boy cheerfully. The boy seemed very surprised, almost a bit scared. The bell rang, and before Kazuki could get an answer, the boy quickly walked off to class, leaving Kazuki to wonder what the problem was.

     Later at lunch, Kazuki was walking to a table, when he saw the same boy sitting at another table. A few other boys were standing around him, trying to hassle him for his riceballs. In the end, the boys got their prize, and left the other boy to just sit there. Kazuki couldn't do anything against the boys, but he could do something for the boy. He got up, walked over to the boy's table, and sat down. Kazuki took out his own riceballs and took off the plastic wrapping his mom had put them in.

     "Here... You can have some of mine." Kazuki said as he picked up a couple and handed them to the boy.

     "Um... Thanks." The boy replied. The boy thought back to earlier. "... My name's Eiichiro Takame." Kazuki smiled.

     "Well, nice to meet you, Eiichiro." Kazuki replied to him.

     Kazuki was now in front of his door, and bent over to slide the letter under his door. He slipped it in and got back up, then walked away from Eiichiro's house. The next letter Kazuki was going to deliver was addressed to Hibiki. He didn't live quite that far from Eiichiro, maybe just a few blocks. Kazuki then began to think of when he first met Hibiki.

     It was several months later after Kazuki met Eiichiro, and it was now about the third grade. The two were in Phys. Ed., and today, they were practicing archery with small bows and the arrows that had the small suction cups on the end.

     "Man, this is so hard..." Kazuki complained. Once again, he pulled back the arrow. When he released, the small arrow traveled a small distance before falling short of the target he was aiming for.

     "Well, at least you're closer than me..." Eiichiro said as he looked at his arrows. A few had fallen right to his feet.

     "Well, Fuumikato seems to have a good hang on this. Keep it up." The teacher said as she passed a boy a bit down. Kazuki looked at his target and it was almost completely full of the arrows.

    "... Wow... He's good..." Kazuki said to Eiichiro as he pointed down at the boy. Eiichiro was already looking at the target, and had an amazed look on his face.

    After class, the two of them decided to catch up with the boy.

     "Hey, you were great with those arrows. How'd you do that?" Kazuki asked the boy. The boy waited a while to reply. Kazuki and Eiichiro wondered why he wasn't answering. "Um... Something wrong?"

     "... My parents taught me." The boy finally replied. "They thought I was good, so I kept going."

     "That's amazing... Say, what's your name?" Kazuki asked the boy, finding it a good opportunity to make another friend.

     "... Hibiki." He answered.

     "Well, nice to meet you. I'm Kazuki, and this is Eiichiro." Kazuki said, happily to him.

     "... Nice to meet you too..." Hibiki said.

     Kazuki was already putting the letter underneath the door of Hibiki's house. He straightened back up and began walking off. The final letter was for Shiori. Her apartment was in the city, but it was quite a distance from Kazuki's own apartment. He was walking along as the buildings got larger and larger until he was in the center of the city, lights everywhere. Kazuki had found Shiori's apartment building and headed in.

     "Kyaaah!!" Came a loud shout from the martial arts studio that Kazuki and his Mother were passing. Kazuki looked inside, and there was a girl who had just knocked a boy down to the ground.

     "Match to Karuda!" The instructor shouted out. The girl ran over to her father as he reached out for her for a large embrace. A few seconds later, and Kazuki recognized her from school. Before he could look anymore, she was out of sight as him and his mother kept on continuing on their way.

     The next day at school, a kid was messing with the back of Kazuki's hair. Although Kazuki kept telling him to stop, he wouldn't listen and continued. From behind the boy, a small fist came down and knocked one to his head.

     "Hey, quit bothering him." Said whoever was behind the boy.

     "Karuda and Mataka, switch places." The teacher said right after. The boy and the other kid got up and switched their places. Kazuki then saw that it was the girl from the martial arts studio.

     "Thanks." Kazuki said to the girl. "I'm Kazuki."

     "Shiori." The girl answered with a smile.

     Kazuki was just standing in front of her apartment door. He waited for a little while before finally putting the letter underneath the crack of the doorway and heading back down to the streets. Kazuki now had to head back to his apartment and get ready.

     A few more hours passed, and Kazuki was out in the park with his parents and Kagizaki, waiting for the time fusion tunnel to appear. He had a couple of bags for himself, and was holding a picture of him and his friends. It was taken the winter before at the winter festival at his school. It was about a week away by now.

     From out a nowhere, a small spark appeared. Kazuki looked at it, wondering what was going to happen next. The spark then began to grow larger, with electricity touching the ground. Soon, a hole began to open within the spark, and an array of multiple colors shone out. Kazuki then began to feel a sensation of power from the light that was coming out.

     "That feeling you're getting is from the spiritual energy being exerted from the tunnel." Jiro began to explain to Kazuki. "There's a lot more in our own time than this, though." The opening was now wide enough for them to travel through.

     "Okay, it's time." Aimi said as she picked up her own bag. The four of them began to walk towards the tunnel.

     "Kazuki, wait!" A voice shouted out from behind them. Kazuki recognized the voice and immediately turned around. It was Shiori, along with Eiichiro and Hibiki.

     "Guys... What are you doing here??" Kazuki asked with a puzzled look on his face. He suddenly saw that each of them had at least 2 backpacks. "... What are those for?"

     "Kazuki, we're coming with you." Eiichiro said, as he walked up a bit closer.

     "Wh... I'm sorry, but you can't, and I already told you why." Kazuki started. "Everyone at school would wonder what happened to you, and your parents would be-"

     "We already left our parents a letter like you did for us." Shiori said, cutting off Kazuki.

     "And you remember what we agreed on last year." Hibiki started. "What we promised to each other at the winter festival after we took that picture." They all took out the same picture that Kazuki had with him in his hand. Kazuki took out his and looked at it for a moment, remembering just that.

     "... That we'd never leave each other, no matter what." Kazuki replied, repeating their pact.

     "And you being a kitsune wouldn't even be able to change that." Eiichiro told Kazuki. "Nothing would be able to change that..."

     Kazuki stood and thought a moment. Eiichiro was right. They had promised that they wouldn't let anything get in between their friendship. Kazuki had almost forgotten about it, but now it was the only thing that couldn't get out. Finally, Kazuki looked up at them and smiled.

     "Well, what are you waiting for? Come on, guys!" Kazuki shouted to them. They ran up next to him, and they looked to the large tunnel. "... To the future where I was meant to be..." They stepped inside, and the tunnel immediately closed. 2199 was a long way to go.

That chapter was a good way to introduce how Kazuki met each of his friends, though his friends joining up with him in the end was very cliched. I saw that coming from when you said that this chapter would be "surprising". It was still a good chapter.

Quote from: LightningSword on December 26, 2007, 01:34:21 PM
That chapter was a good way to introduce how Kazuki met each of his friends, though his friends joining up with him in the end was very cliched. I saw that coming from when you said that this chapter would be "surprising". It was still a good chapter.

Thanks. :) And I know it was kinda cliched at the end, but they're going to pay important parts later in the story, so it was the only way to get them there with Kazuki.

As corny and cliche as it was, the chapter was pretty good.

Quote from: Triforce_Luigi on December 26, 2007, 04:23:37 PM
As corny and cliche as it was, the chapter was pretty good.

Thanks. :) (... I think... XD)

Sorry for the wait, but Chapter 4 is here. ;D

Chapter 4: The Brooding of Darkness and an All Too Firm Grip

  "... Please..." A voice began to sound in Kazuki's head. He couldn't see anything. Heck, nobody could see anything. It was pitch black inside the time fusion tunnel. He wasn't sure why there wasn't any sort of light inside when he had seen the vivid colors before he entered. It must only be illuminated when there's some sort of opening. "... Please, you must listen..." Silver light began to slowly grow brighter. Kazuki was the only one seeing this for some reason.

     "Wha...? Who are you?" Kazuki asked. No-one could hear him, either.

     "At the time, that doesn't matter..." The voice began to answer him. The light then slowly began to take form, and the image of a girl around the age of 18 appeared. There was something about her that wasn't quite human. "What matters now is that you've finally come back to the time where you were meant to be. But I warn you... You will soon come to challenges that will choose the fate of all spirits and souls"

     "What? Spirits and souls?" Kazuki said very confused. "I don't get it; I thought I was just coming back for a change of life..."

     "It has already changed..." The girl answered him. Before Kazuki could say anything, the form of the girl disappeared and the light flickered out in one quick flash. The tunnel was once again dark, and he was very confused.

     "... Who was that?" Kazuki asked himself silently.

     The feeling he had gotten when the tunnel had first opened up began to flow back into him, only much stronger. The intensity was so great, that Kazuki couldn't almost bear it. Soon, it overwhelmed him, and he passed out. As his eyes closed, he saw that the tunnel began to light up with the variety of colors like it had before. They were there.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

   Dark clouds circled around. The deep ocean water surrounded a secluded island that nobody else had been on for years. Several small houses had been altered into a large, run-down building used apparently as a home or base of some sort.

     "Hmm..." A deep, disguised voice came from a tall, black-cloaked figure standing in the center of one of the main rooms. "So they made it back... And it only took them more than eighteen years... But... What is this other power?"

     "Ah, do you think it might be-?" A small badger-like creature began. Apparently, it was a henchman of whoever the tall figure was.

     "Did I ask you to speak?" The figure angrily asked as they turned to the tiny demon.

     "Oh, I-I'm so sorry, my lord! I-I didn't mean to-!" The creature shouted before the figure raised an arm and fired off a powerful blast of energy that ripped its head off. It wasn't the tall figure's henchman anymore.

     "Why must they be so insolent?" The figure asked silently. With a quick, loud clap, another creature appeared. This one looked like a standing salamander with a very large vest and a belt.

     "Wh-what is this?! Where am-?" He began. He then looked at the tall figure, and froze. "Oh... Y-you're..."

     "Yes, now you will address me as 'Lord', and do as I bid." The tall figure ordered to his new demon. "Any questioning or speaking out of line will result in an instant death. Understand?"

     "Y-yes, Lord Dessara-maru..." The small lizard quickly replied.

     "Good... Now take this and find whatever this source of power may be." Dessara-maru demanded as he threw a small piece of rolled up parchment at him, which was clearly much larger than the demon himself.

     "Y-yes, my lord... Understood..." The lizard immediately agreed. He ran out the door much faster than anyone would think was possible for his size. Dessara-maru walked over to one of the windows and looked out.

     "Ah... When I find all four, your revival shall bring us such glory over these insolent humans... Mother..." Dessara-maru said silently. The time was coming...

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

     "Sir, we're detecting a fluctuation in the spiritual energy field." A man in gray uniform said as he looked at the hologram display that was flickering in front of him. "It seems to be in the old Kyoto district of Japan." Another man, probably in charge, came over and looked for himself.

     "Hmm... it resembles the one that we saw the other day." He said, his face staying serious the entire time. "But it seems that a greater amount of spiritual energy is being released than the last one." He walked over to a microphone on another table and picked it up. "Captain Getai."

     "Yes, Commodore Miyagoma?" A voice asked from the speaker next to where the microphone was.

     "I want you to take a look at your scanners." The commodore ordered. The speaker fell silent for a moment as the Captain on the other side was ordering one of his men to check the scanner.

     "There seems to be a spiritual spike in old Kyoto, sir." The captain replied after seeing his own results.

     "Take your ship and check the area for any potential sources of this spike." The commodore started. "If you find anything that poses a threat of any sort, I want you to seek and destroy what ever the target may be. And if that target happens to be a demon, do not engage and wait for further backup. Understood, captain?"

     "Yes, commodore. We'll head out immediately." A reply came back. The commodore walked over to view the large deck of the ship. Large clouds were floating by the hull of the modified oil-tanker. It was quite a sight for anyone to see flying above.

     "Hmph... We'll get rid of those cursed demons soon enough..." The commodore said silently to himself. "Soon enough..."

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

     It was cloudy and overcast when Kazuki began to regain consciousness, and he tiredly looked around the landscape. At the moment, he really couldn't see anything, because his vision was blurred. Kazuki then noticed that he felt different. Much different than when he was back in the previous time. Like there was more of him than before. He slowly got up, leaning on a large rock next to him. His head hurt a bit.

     "Jeez, that was a rough landing..." Kazuki thought to himself, as the pain throbbed for a little while. When the pain went away, his vision cleared. What he saw was almost gut-wrenching.

     Kyoto. He was standing in the exact same park they had left from, but it was in complete ruin. The buildings still stood, but most of them were absolutely wrecked. He walked for a bit, and he stumbled on a small sign that was partially sticking out of the ground. A faded piece of paper was on it. Kazuki bent down and began to read it.



     The list began to go on, but it was cut off as it reached a certain point under the soil of the ground. But in that part alone, there were so many cities from around the world that were being listed. Los Angeles, Detroit, Seoul, Bombay, Kyoto, Berlin... The list just kept going. Kazuki then noticed a sign that looked like it was more recent. He went over, and quickly read through it, and it said that some of the cities that were evacuated were now safe to reoccupy.

     "Well, I don't see anyone that may have come back here..." Kazuki muttered to himself.

     "Kazuki?" Came a shout from somewhere behind him. He turned his head to see that it was Shiori, being followed by Eiichiro and Hibiki. "Are you-? ... Huh?" They stopped several feet from him, and amazed looks began to come across their faces.

     "What? What's wrong?" Kazuki asked them. He didn't know why they were looking at him differently. But after a moment, he realized something; did he look different now?
The side of a building with a glass window still intact was only several yards away, so he quickly ran over to see what was different. When he got to it, he stood there. He definitely knew that there was a difference now.

     His body had completely changed. Extremely light gray fur covered his entire body, with a pure white underside. Ears came right out of his hair, which had stayed the same. Nine large, long tails extended out from behind him, gently waving in the breeze that occasionally blew past him. His hands and feet had turned into fairly-sized paws that were shaded a deep black, and the front of his face had extended into a muzzle. Kagizaki was absolutely right.

     "But... ... He's no ordinary kitsune..." Kagizaki's voice came from behind the three. They turned around quickly to see that she had also undergone similar changes.

     Kagizaki was almost like Kazuki, save for her having light orange fur rather than light gray, and having only one tail. She had also retained her feminine figure. She was just staring at him in awe. Apparently, there was something about him that was different than any other kitsune.

     "He's..." Kagizaki began again. "... He's... The Winter Sun Kyuubi..."

Great chapter, but the name for the "Kohaku Guards" seems familiar... Can't quite put my finger on it.

Quote from: Triforce_Luigi on January 19, 2008, 12:45:02 PM
Great chapter, but the name for the "Kohaku Guards" seems familiar... Can't quite put my finger on it.

Well, I really didn't use anything as a reference... All I did was use the Japanese word for amber. Basically, it just translates out as the "Amber Guard". Just to help any confusion. :)

Quote from: X_Hero on January 19, 2008, 12:52:56 PM

Quote from: Triforce_Luigi on January 19, 2008, 12:45:02 PM
Great chapter, but the name for the "Kohaku Guards" seems familiar... Can't quite put my finger on it.

Well, I really didn't use anything as a reference... All I did was use the Japanese word for amber. Basically, it just translates out as the "Amber Guard". Just to help any confusion. :)

Ah, thanks. :)

All right, I also have chapter five for ya, so here you go. ;D

Author's Note: This chapter contains some innuendo. Viewers 13 and under are advised caution.

Chapter 5: History Lessons

     Everyone just looked at her in amazement at what she had said. All except for Kazuki, who now looked a little ticked off.

     "Greeeat... More stuff I don't understand..." Kazuki said after a few moments, slightly annoyed that he didn't know about anything that she was talking about. Kagizaki just looked right back at him with the same expression that he had.

     "Anyway..." Kagizaki started. "Since you all have no clue to what happened here, I'll take you to my grandfather... He can probably explain all of this better than I can. Besides, I think your parents are already there talking with my dad."

     "All right, sounds fine to me..." Kazuki said as he walked past the others and began to follow Kagizaki. They just stood there a moment.

     "Wow..." Shiori said, amazed at the sight of the two. "They're... They're so..."

     "Fluffy." Hibiki said out of nowhere. The other two just looked at him weird as an awkward silence began to set in.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

     The five of them were now near the center of the city. Kazuki began to notice that the signs of people still living there were becoming more and more increasing and noticeable. Make-shift walls kept out the cold on some of the buildings that had the windows completely shattered out, and now, people were finally seen walking around. It seemed as if they've been living like this their entire lives.

     "Most people decided to live close to the center of the city and use what ever buildings are left as protection." Kagizaki started to explain. "Now, those demons with a high enough intelligence level have decided to help out the humans that are still living on the lower surface of the planet."

     "Wait... Lower surface?" Eiichiro asked in a confused tone.

     "Yes. Where we are now is basically the original planet, but all the rich humans live up in flying cities completely separated from all the demons that are here on the base ground." Kagizaki told him. "The cities up there are supposed to be absolutely beautiful..."

     "And... What cities are up there?" Shiori asked as well. "I'm guessing that they took the important cities of Earth?"

     "Exactly." Kagizaki answered. "They found that some of the greatest of cities were too important to let go to waste from all the Rogue Demons, so they took them to the skies."

     "What? So they just took the big cities and left all the other people down here for dead?" Kazuki said after a while. The three looked at him, then at Kagizaki.

     "Well... That's putting it bluntly, but yeah..." She answered.

     "Feh... That's just like those rich snobs..." Kazuki said a bit angrily.

     "We're here." Kagizaki said out of nowhere. They stopped and looked up at the building that they were in front of. Kazuki just stood there in amazement.

     "Wait... This is my old apartment building..." Kazuki said in shock.

     "Yeah, fancy that, eh?" Kagizaki said with a bit of a laugh. "Now let's head on up."

     It took a little while, but they made it up, and as another surprise, the place where they were going was the same apartment that Kazuki had lived in before. The door was gone, and as they went in, they saw that the wall separating this apartment from the one next to it was completely gone.

     "Wow... Talk about remodeling..." Kazuki joked a bit as he looked at the new open area.

     "Kazuki?" The sound of Kazuki's mother came from another room. She came out, along with Kazuki's father. They were basically like him, but they had only one tail like Kagizaki, and their fur was a bit darker than Kazuki's. When they saw him, they froze.

     "I..." Kazuki's mother started.

     "Well... Who knew you'd be the fourth?" Kazuki's father said with a calm, yet disbelieving voice.

     "Huh? The fourth?" Kazuki asked in more confusion. "Will someone please tell me what the heck everyone's talking about?!"

     "The boy must be informed, and I will do such..." A voice said from out of nowhere. They all turned to the doorway, where there were two more kistunes. They both had the same fur color as Kagizaki, one seemed aged quite a bit, while the other was a bit taller and around the same age as Kazuki's parents.

     "Dad, grandfather!" Kagizaki said as she rushed over to them.

     "Kagizaki, what did I tell you about time travel techniques?" Her father said, sounding somewhat serious. She stopped and looked at him surprised.  She had never heard him like that before. "... Ah, I'm just kidding! Come here!" Kagizaki sighed with quick relief and they embraced.

     "It would seem that greater powers intervened in this, as well..." Her grandfather said as he looked at Kazuki and his parents.

     "All right, so now can we figure out what happened?" Kazuki asked a little impatiently. Kagizaki looked back at him a bit annoyed.

     "Right then..." Her grandfather said. He walked over and sat down on an old chair that was still very intact. "This is how it began... 2010 was a year where disputes across the planet caused severe distrust among humans. As all things occur, war started. Cities were heavily damaged, and many people died. This war raged on for an entire 23 years. No-one knows who started it exactly, but it is very clear who did...

     "In 2033, there was an air-raid in a town far from here. All but one survived. The survivor was a young girl, around the age of 16 at the time. She had become highly traumatized, and wandered into a forest nearby. The town was in the northern part of the world, so there was much snow.

     "After several hours of wandering farther north, the girl came across a pack of wolves that were completely safe from the ensuing war. She had stayed with them for only a few days before she had become even more distraught from her horrible experience. Soon, she had succumbed to strange feelings, and allowed the leader of the wolf pack to have his ways with her."

     Eiichiro, Hibiki, and Shiori were just looking at him in confusion, while Kazuki had an awkward and somewhat horrified look on his face.

     "Whoa, wait..." Kazuki interjected. "So... What you're basically saying is..." They all looked at Kazuki for a moment, wondering what he was going to say. "... This girl let herself get done by a wolf??"

     The others suddenly got what was being said, and they had the most disgusted look on their faces. Kagizaki glared at him angrily before she got up and landed a punch to the top of his head.

     "Never speak about the Mother like that!!" Kagizaki shouted at him as Kazuki held his head from the pain.

     "Kagizaki..." Her father said to her. She sat down, still angry about what he said.

     "Well... as blunt as that may have been, he's right..." Kagizaki's grandfather continued. "But it was this act that brought about the rebirth of all demons. She even bore a child of her own that was a demon. Because of her act, she is now known as the 'Mother of the New Demon Era'.

     "The reappearance of demons brought a quick end to the war, and also the uprising of the Kohaku Guard as the new world power. They saw the demons as a complete threat, and began to hunt down the Mother. Meanwhile, she began to teach those demons that were intelligent enough to follow a set of rules for them, called the 12 laws of the demons.

     "Two years later, the mother was of proper age of execution. The Kohaku Guard had finally found her and captured her. Before they killed her, she recited a poem written many years earlier. The year of her death was 2035, which marked the beginning of a secondary calendar. Right now, it would be the year 164 of that calendar."

     "... Wow..." Hibiki said. He really wasn't much for words, but he always said just the right thing.

     "Yeah..." Shiori started. "...Well, at least we got to skip past the war!" She laughed a bit as the usual awkward silence followed afterward.

     "Well, that's all I can tell you for today..." Kagizaki's grandfather said. "I'll explain some more tomorrow, but for now, I must rest..." He slowly got up, and Kagizaki's father following suit and helped him to the door.

     "Hmm... I got some info..." Kazuki began to think to himself. "But what's with this Winter Sun stuff?" Kagizaki's father came back in as his thoughts had finished.

     "All right, since that's over with now, it's time to get you your Akkiken." He said to Kazuki.

     "Wait, my what??" Kazuki said in confusion.

     "You were supposed to get it on your 16th birthday." Kazuki's father began. "But given where we were, we couldn't."

     "But what is it? That's what I'm asking!" Kazuki said, still confused.

     "It's your weapon. The last weapon you'll ever need." Kagizaki's father answered him.

Way to build up suspense!

Quote from: Triforce_Luigi on January 19, 2008, 03:56:11 PM
Way to build up suspense!

Yeah, expect a large majority of the chapters to be cliffhangers... XD

Wow... There's like... Nobody on this board. I really need more readers for this... :'(