prologue,
Planet SSBB. The most feared planet in the galaxy. Here live the species of SSBB. All kinds of creatures live here. Italians with overalls, mean, ruthless, giant fire breathing turtles, elves that stand 6 feet tall, and many, many more. Chaos is in all directions. Every once in one in a while, a creature will have a devastating eruption and will wipe out the area. The date right know in this world is Febuary 10, 2008. Even if it is Febuary, there is no love. All you can see is desert. If you walk for along time you will reach a large platform with small platforms floating like magic in the air. One area of this world stretches over 50 feet as a canyon. Luckily there is a bridge across it. Beware though that this bridge will crumble. So watch out. In this world not only does strange areas appear on the ground, but in the sky as well. Here is where the cache of the heavens is. The guard there is amicable, but do not underestimate. He can be extremely dangerous. All who enters this planet, Planet SSBB, shall not revoke from this planet. As soon as you arrive, you must learn how to fight. Do not come here premature on how to fight.
Interesting......
Quote from: ZACKMAN94 on January 06, 2008, 08:26:17 PM
Quote from: wiiboychris on January 06, 2008, 08:21:22 PM
Interesting......
Is it bad... :|
It's an interesting concept, and there don't seem to be many grammar or spelling mistakes. A little short, but otherwise excellent.
I have chapters. Do people want to read them, or is the beggining bad
I like it! Just add some humr and you got yourself a people grabber (no, not like that... -_-)
Quote from: ZACKMAN94 on January 06, 2008, 08:29:57 PM
I have chapters. Do people want to read them, or is the beggining bad
I'd read it.
Quote from: Triforce_Luigi on January 06, 2008, 08:29:03 PM
Quote from: ZACKMAN94 on January 06, 2008, 08:26:17 PM
Quote from: wiiboychris on January 06, 2008, 08:21:22 PM
Interesting......
Is it bad... :|
It's an interesting concept, and there don't seem to be many grammar or spelling mistakes. A little short, but otherwise excellent.
Well, I made it for my English teacher, so I had to make it perfect
Planet SSBB chapter 1
Mario was running. Running for what was right. Then he jump. As he jump, his hand grew twice the size as he smashed it into his opponent Link. Link smashed into the ground. Defiant, Link got back up and struck back. Link grabbed his bow and shot it at Mario. It barely pierced Mario. Lucky for him. Then Mario jumped, grunting with his Italian accent at Link. Then swinging his arms in multiple circles, he was hitting Link with them as hard as he could. Link was now hurt badly. He was lying on the ground, and Mario was coming to repulse him off the edge. But as Mario was about to grab Link he was stopped by a strong object. Mario was thrown across the arena as if he was a portable object. He got up and looked up. There he saw his true enemy. Bowser, the strongest of all brawlers. Why Bowser was here though, was trivial. Bowser then went to scorch Mario with fire, but Mario dodged quickly. Mario recovered, but it was too late. Bowser smashed Mario with his head, compelled. Then Mario, barley conscious, saw a green figure, and then passed out
Hm. Some grammar mistakes, but it's good. Also, a little short, isn't it?
Quote from: Triforce_Luigi on January 06, 2008, 08:35:57 PM
Hm. Some grammar mistakes, but it's good. Also, a little short, isn't it?
Well, sorry, but I had the font on Microsoft Word a little big
Quote from: ZACKMAN94 on January 06, 2008, 08:40:44 PM
Quote from: Triforce_Luigi on January 06, 2008, 08:35:57 PM
Hm. Some grammar mistakes, but it's good. Also, a little short, isn't it?
Well, sorry, but I had the font on Microsoft Word a little big
Ah. That would explain it.
Chapter 2
Mario was asleep, he was having a wonderful dream of being with Peach. Then he woke up, his
head was hurting. Really bad. He stood up. Then he looked down. "Waaaaa!" yelled Mario. He was
lying on a cloud! "Oh...what-a happened to me?" Mario asked himself. Then he turned around, and
saw a person, but due to the solar rays of the sun, he couldn't see who it was. In his fighing
stance, he asked, "Who are-a you?". "Mario, it is me, Pit." said the angel. "You were struck by Bowser.
"So how did I-a end up-a here?" Mario asked. "When Bowser hit you with his Hammerhead, you
were about to be smashed off the stage. As you were about to be turned into a trophy, you were
saved by Yoshi. He used his long to tongue to save you. Then he gave you to me and I used my
Wings of Icarus to fly you up here so you could rest. Then Mario said, "I am going to get-a Bowser with
all I-a got!" Pit grabbed Mario's shoulder. "Relax Mario. If you wish to fight Bowser, you must train. Come
with me and I will help you." With that He grabbed Mario and used the Wings of Icarus and flies Mario up
in the air, and with a sparkle, they vanish.
It might be short, but I try...
It's good, but what happened with the paragraphs? Also, yay for Pit's introduction.
Quote from: Triforce_Luigi on January 06, 2008, 09:56:27 PM
It's good, but what happened with the paragraphs? Also, yay for Pit's introduction.
Pit takes a large part in the chapters. I wont be able to post the next chapter in about another 30-hour