Like the thing you put in your "About Me" section of your profile? This is mine.
Bio: I was born and raised in a log cabin 30 miles away from Brooklyn. I was born in 300 B.C. and die around 2097. I enjoy spam in a can, money, stuff, and spam. I have a short attention span and I'm awesome at soccer. No, I am not Seth Green and never played in an Austin Powers movie. Thank you for your time and patriotism to spam. GOD BLESS THE PEOPLE OF SPAIN!!!
- Future Ruler of the Grand Canyon, Spam
I leave mine blank. If you guys seriously want to get to know poop about me, I'd better know you darn well first.
I don't think I have anything there
Quote from: Friendly Hostile on March 19, 2008, 06:48:00 PM
I leave mine blank. If you guys seriously want to get to know poop about me, I'd better know you darn well first.
Nice policy. I say I'm going to write it later. I'm not going to write it unless I'm really bored.
It's my last Oldsider bio with some edits and one extra line at the end to have it make sense.
copypasta:
the story of my life:
I was browsing NSider one day when this guy came up to me and said "hey."
I said "Hi, What is your purpose here?" When I asked that question, he paused and started pacing. Then he turned into a duck.
"Quack!"
"You're a duck."
"Quack!" He transformed back into human form. "It seems as though ducks can't talk as well as chinchillas."
"Because chinchillas have fully-functional tongues?"
"No, because chinchillas are awesome." At that moment, I realized I was talking to a lamp.
I asked the lamp, "Why did you turn into a lamp?" Proceeding to get no answer, I slapped the lamp a few times to make sure it could hear me, and then I repeated my question. Then I realized I had to turn it on. With the lamp on, I asked again, "Why are you a lamp?" Still no response. I then realized that the lamp had an incandescent light bulb. Those things are a waste of electricity so I got some fluorescent light bulbs at the hardware store. *cue "Hardware Store" by Weird Al*
I replaced the bulb and turned the lamp on. I asked the lamp, "Why are you a lamp?" It did not answer, but I knew it was thanking me for giving it a more energy efficient light bulb. It then caught on fire.
I panicked and threw a large bucket of nepalm on it to calm down the flame. To my surprise, that didn't work. Good thing I was wearing a gas mask and a flame-retardant suit with matching headpiece. After the smoke and debris cleared away, I was transported via black helicopter to the HQ of the Secret World Government.
Once there, I was unblindfolded and directed to facility 2-B. This had a ring transporter that teleported me to Area 51. I got to fly the Aurora spy plane. It was cool. Then I crashed it. Good thing I was still wearing that flame-retardant suit with matching headpiece, and a parachute. They got really mad at me so I escaped on an ATV and drove to Russia.
In Russia, I had a great time touring St. Petersburg and Moscow. I got to see Lenin's embalmed body, and I mistakenly found a secret passageway leading to the Mushroom Kingdom. It was kinda boring there, actually, because Bowser hadn't captured the princess again yet. I rang the doorbell for Princess Toadstool's castle, but Toadsworth told me to get the heck out or he'd pummel me with his cane. I thought he would be nicer than that. I learned. Never trust an old mushroom.
So I used my pole-vaulting techniques to travel to Jupiter. Good thing I upgraded my flame-retardant suit, because I found the interior of Jupiter to be very hot. It was pretty cool, a psychedelic mix of different layers of clouds. I steered clear of the Big Red Spot and the terrible Westerdlies and headed to the surface. To my surprise, the surface didn't exist. However, there was a candy machine. I bought a 6 pack of Oreos. Nice deal.
When I got back home via hitchhiking, I remembered I destroyed my house and some others nearby. I broke through the security tape and looked for the lamp. Since it wasn't there, I concluded the Secret World Government took it. So I went there and broke in. It was easy because I have a CitiBank Hassle-Free Rewards card. I got there just in time; they were about to cut it in half to retrieve information about the alien race called the "Gzfoost." I also stole their candy machine. Then I hopped into one of the black helicopters and went back to my hometown, which was leveled by an electric storm caused by some satellite the Gzfoost put into our orbit. I called Ty Pennington.
He brought his crew over here and built me a cool house with way too many appliances from Sears and every single piece of furniture had a Sears logo on it. I sold them on eBay along with the house and bought the Sears company. I lived in the basement of an undisclosed Sears location for two years, posting on NSider a lot, then got bored and sold Sears secretly back to the original owner. After getting the money from that, I had my old house built to excruciating detail and I put my lamp on the table. I then sat down and started posting on NSider again.
Then a guy came up to me and said "hey." I ignored him.
Then NSider closed and I came here.
The End.
QuoteWhat's there to know? I'm a 19-year-old guy with a hankering for rock, trance, video games, good literature, and Presea.
My real name is Ryan Michael Wells. I live in a tiny little border town in northern Minnesota called Baudette. I go to college at Bemidji State University.
I have no psychokinetic abilities that I'm aware of.
Honestly, I'm not sure if you want to know more. It might be harmful to your fragile psyche.
But hey, if you're daring enough, and if for some reason you actually care enough to get to know me better, you can always try to start up a nice, bland conversation with me on MSN or AIM. PMs work too, but you and I both know that they can be a pain.
I grew up in a house going to school.
Whoopde intercourse ing doo.
Well im a pretty social person and I would love it if people got to know more about me.
My name Is Bryan Kumori *Insert last name* I was born in Texas. the first 8 years of my life I lived in Pearland Texas and had alot of good friends. I then Moved to Woodland Park Colorado where we bought a nice house on a road called Sunnywood. I went to a school called Columbine (The Columbine shootings school I believe).
I had a great time there and met alot of friends and had cool teachers. I was the class clown from 3rd to 6th grade. In 6th grade I moved up into The middle school. 6th-8th grade. It was fun alot of diffrent changes and opened alot of friendship oppurtunities,
which is where i met my friend for life Thunderhero, we were in the same quior class and met because we started talking about Yu-Gi-Oh. We were best friends up until 8th grade where we sort of drifter apart. My science teacher in 8th grade is my favorite teacher of all time Mr. Parent.
also backtracking in 7th grade is where i met the girl of my dreams Courtney Nicole *insert last name* Im still with her today, we have had alot of bad times but are still perfect for each other. I started 9th grade a little afraid of highschool. I thought I would greatly like a few of my teachers but alot of them wernt as nice as i thought. Its been hard but my girlfriend and all my greatest friends have been there for me. Around november 11th I joined Nsider and this is now my favorite site.
Also like many of you Nsiders know if you have seen me around the smash board and Zelda board. When i was around 5 or 6 i was intruduced to The Legend of Zelda Orcarina of Time. This was the first video game i played and beat. I have grown up with this series and it is my favorite of all time. Link is also my favorite video game character ever.
If you have actuall read all this we should be friends send me a request ;) I love meeting new people and making new friends.
Quote from: Orgizirtee on March 19, 2008, 09:14:41 PM
I grew up in a house going to school.
Whoopde f***ing doo.
Short and simple i like it ;)
Quote from: Kazooie-Banjo on March 19, 2008, 09:08:54 PM
QuoteWhat's there to know? I'm a 19-year-old guy with a hankering for rock, trance, video games, good literature, and Presea.
My real name is Ryan Michael Wells. I live in a tiny little border town in northern Minnesota called Baudette. I go to college at Bemidji State University.
I have no psychokinetic abilities that I'm aware of.
Honestly, I'm not sure if you want to know more. It might be harmful to your fragile psyche.
But hey, if you're daring enough, and if for some reason you actually care enough to get to know me better, you can always try to start up a nice, bland conversation with me on MSN or AIM. PMs work too, but you and I both know that they can be a pain.
for some reason, I read "rock" as...
well...
you know. o_O
I share the same policy as FH.
Quote from: Jono2 on March 19, 2008, 09:26:15 PM
Quote from: Kazooie-Banjo on March 19, 2008, 09:08:54 PM
QuoteWhat's there to know? I'm a 19-year-old guy with a hankering for rock, trance, video games, good literature, and Presea.
My real name is Ryan Michael Wells. I live in a tiny little border town in northern Minnesota called Baudette. I go to college at Bemidji State University.
I have no psychokinetic abilities that I'm aware of.
Honestly, I'm not sure if you want to know more. It might be harmful to your fragile psyche.
But hey, if you're daring enough, and if for some reason you actually care enough to get to know me better, you can always try to start up a nice, bland conversation with me on MSN or AIM. PMs work too, but you and I both know that they can be a pain.
for some reason, I read "rock" as...
well...
you know. o_O
oh god lol
yes i am a flaming homosexual with a hankering for big juicy cocks
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air
In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'
I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.
First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.
But wait I hear there're prissy, wine all that
Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat?
I don't think sow
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air
Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappeared
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
Wow that was an amazing Britneymahboy. :D
mine changes all the time, if you want to know me pretty well you'll have to check it periodically.
Don't feel like typing it right now.
Quote from: Blaziken on March 20, 2008, 10:26:23 AM
Don't feel like typing it right now.
In other words you never will :|
well, i'm Ryan stewart.
I live in Ontario.
I love drawing and playing Nintendo.
I like to make friends.
I have a best friend that lives 4 hours away.
so... yeah..:P
Uh...
QuoteHello~! I'm Talim2004. My real name is Rania, so if you want to call me by my real name, go right ahead, I don't mind. I'm just a regular 15 year old girl. I'm in grade 10, and I live in Canada~! :)