My new Bio for my profile.....
Because I refuse to divulge any real information....
Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down. I'd like to take a minute just sit right there, and I tell you how I became the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. It sure was boring around here. The king told me that this peace was what all true warriors strive for. I think he was really wondering what's for dinner. I was so hungry I could eat an octorok. I asked Mr. Volcano what he had there. He told me it was water that was volcano filtered so it was full of boiling lava! I don't remember a lot of what happened next but there was a lot of Linkin Park and ninjas everywhere. Just as the situation got hot, Rick Astley showed up and we jammed out all night long. A couple of unicorns showed me the way to candy mountain but then they stole my frikkin' kidney. I decided to mindlessly attend thousands of Dr. Tran movies. Because he doesn't take my poop. Someone told me to leave Brittany alone but I was too distracted by this strange chipmunk or was it a prairie dog? There was also a dog on a skateboard and a cat-playing piano. I got tired when suddenly a bunch of weird guys started running around talking about how awesome everything was. They wouldn't stop talking about Metal Gear and gay jokes. Billy Mays interrupted this to tell me about the amazing power of Kaboom and George Zimmer said he could guarantee it (But not my safety). They gave me some free Shamwow as a parting gift. I was told there would be cake but I suspected deception. I was reading the abridged story of a great Egyptian hero when some vagina cleaning device bag tossed the books into the air and told me he could screw the rules because he had money. Al told him everything he knew was wrong and that everything which he thought was so important didn't really matter anyway. So we all went to the hardware store. I quickly discovered that Dexter Douglas, Nerd Computer Ace, while surfin' on the Internet was zapped thru cyber space. He turned into the Freakazoid, was strong and super quick. He drives the villains crazy cuz he's a little thick. Gir asked me if I was gonna make biscuits. Remember that one time Muhammed gave me a salmon helmet? I was about to listen to some Thnderhorse when I was attacked by the godless killing machines known as Bears! That's what she said. The Falcon Punch was over 9000 as of last Thursday. Luckily I was able to get a rid from the Ridge Racer. We were just about to attack the Giant Enemy Crab for profit when all of a sudden Peppy tried to divide by zero. I objected! It was time to watch the best motherf***in' news team on the planet! They were going to check-a check-a da e-mail. We all did the Mario. We piled into a series of tubes but it was too late. We mailed our fission. We kudn't git him a cheezburger. Harumph! Harumph! Harumph! Sheriff Bart helped me find the Holy Grail, which apparently was being held by the French of all people. They farted in our general direction, called our mothers hamsters, and said our father's smelt of elderberries. It was revealed that Brian's father was a Roman named Naughtius Maximus but Brian didn't want to be Roman. As I pondered Pinky seemed to wonder where we would get swimsuits big enough for hippos. I then introduced myself to a girl named Evee. She was very vindictive and vexed at various villains whose venom violated the virtuous. We decided to go nowhere special because we've always wanted to go there. I was rather pleased with all this for tonight we dine in Hell!
Remember all toasters, toast toast!
Oh god, it's like the world's largest meme.