Here are some tips and infos that will help you live.
Or maybe not.
-Don't get emotionally attached to anyone.
-Be tired all the time.
-Don't be tall. People ask you to grab library books or those premium breads at the supermarket.
-Never study. It takes away your do-nothing time.
-Never read a book. Books don't help you accomplish anything.
-Never clean your glasses. The next person who asks to put on your glasses will do it for you.
-When you have the opportunity to do something extraordinary, consider that you also have the opportunity not to do something extraordinary, and then embrace the latter.
-Never seek help. Remember, the squeaky wheel is always the first to be replaced.
-Don't ever watch anything that is related to Disney.
-Don't believe anybody unless they look like they know what they're talking about.
-Avoid the use of lol, omg, wtf, and similar idiocy.
-Your teacher can always be bribed.
-Never overcomplicate speech because it makes you look retarded.
-Don't donate unless you get something in return.
-Don't say "apparently" unless you really mean it.
-You don't have special permission to quote movies that you haven't seen.
-Indifference is the key to victory. (Example: Franco, dictator of Spain.)
-Wearing goggles makes you look like a tool.
-If you don't feel doing something, don't do it.
-Always go for the free samples.
-If you are left-handed, learn to use right-handed things, but still complain that you are left-handed.
-Bitches need to be ninnyslapped.
-Bacon bits are a must.
-If you find yourself in a state of weakness, make others feel the same, perhaps even worse, so that you will not be relatively weak anymore.
-If you can't make a point, then there's no point in talking.
-Just because you're a vagina cleaning devicebag doesn't mean you should write a book.
-Complaining about the cold is worse than complaining about AIDS.
-Never have a wardrobe.
-The act of organization is a lengthy process. Leaving things the way they are takes no extra time, and you know exactly where everything is.
-Sometimes pretty and petty are the same word.
-Don't respond to e-mails sent to you by friends.
-Never have a "creed".
-Always have a cool catchphrase.
-Don't let your girlfriend use your deodorant.
-If you've got something to say, chances are it's not important.
-If they can't see it, do it.
-If you hate your parents, get on their good side, and then do something really bad.
-Once you're 18, you're not free.
You might notice that a couple of these are inspired by or directly quoted from George Carlin, the Phantom King of Badassia.
As long as your like George Carlin you win at life.
lol omg
wtf?
I actually follow some of those.
Quote from: Qsmash on March 15, 2009, 08:21:20 AM
I actually follow some of those.
Good, you're on your way to living like an indifferent king.
I agree.
I went through the first...third I guess, and I'd say I agree with/actually do only a small handful out of a vast majority.
Like, the first nine I either disagree with or don't do (or both). It was broken by Disney. I am assuming you mean current Disney stuff, not classic.
-Don't donate unless you get something in return.
DONATE TO NSF AND I PROMISE YOU WON'T EVER BE BANNED
Quote-Never overcomplicate speech because it makes you look retarded.
I'm dealing with this right now My friend needs to learn how to write a intercourse ing essay.
Then again I need to learn how to get all my poop done on time :-\
[spoiler]
Quote from: Super on March 15, 2009, 01:08:12 AM
-Don't get emotionally attached to anyone.
Only SOME people.
-Be tired all the time.
But then you can't do anything. D:
-Don't be tall. People ask you to grab library books or those premium breads at the supermarket.
I'm not tall. ^_^
-Never study. It takes away your do-nothing time.
I rarely study.
-Never read a book. Books don't help you accomplish anything.
Only for reports and such.
-Never clean your glasses. The next person who asks to put on your glasses will do it for you.
I usually do that.
-When you have the opportunity to do something extraordinary, consider that you also have the opportunity not to do something extraordinary, and then embrace the latter.
I don't think I do anything very extraordinary. :-\
-Never seek help. Remember, the squeaky wheel is always the first to be replaced.
I rarely ask for h elp.
-Don't ever watch anything that is related to Disney.
Never. :)
-Don't believe anybody unless they look like they know what they're talking about.
Pretty much.
-Avoid the use of lol, omg, wtf, and similar idiocy.
Just 'lol' for me. :P
-Your teacher can always be bribed.
:O
-Never overcomplicate speech because it makes you look retarded.
I don't think I do this.
-Don't donate unless you get something in return.
But what if I'm feeling generous? (Once I get some money).
-Don't say "apparently" unless you really mean it.
I don't think I do that.
-You don't have special permission to quote movies that you haven't seen.
I don't do that.
-Indifference is the key to victory. (Example: Franco, dictator of Spain.)
:-\
-Wearing goggles makes you look like a tool.
I don't own any. ^_^
-If you don't feel doing something, don't do it.
A lot of the time I do this.
-Always go for the free samples.
I'm a sucker for free samples. :P
-If you are left-handed, learn to use right-handed things, but still complain that you are left-handed.
I'm a righty.
-b****es need to be b****slapped.
I'm not mean enough. :(
-Bacon bits are a must.
I LOVE BACON BITS.
-If you find yourself in a state of weakness, make others feel the same, perhaps even worse, so that you will not be relatively weak anymore.
But I'm not mean enough. :(
-If you can't make a point, then there's no point in talking.
Yep.
-Just because you're a d**chebag doesn't mean you should write a book.
I'm not a d**chebag. :-\
-Complaining about the cold is worse than complaining about AIDS.
But I hate the cold!
-Never have a wardrobe.
I don't.
-The act of organization is a lengthy process. Leaving things the way they are takes no extra time, and you know exactly where everything is.
I'm somewhat organized...
-Sometimes pretty and petty are the same word.
What.
-Don't respond to e-mails sent to you by friends.
I usually just get IMs.
-Never have a "creed".
What.
-Always have a cool catchphrase.
Erm, I say 'heya' a lot. >_>
-Don't let your girlfriend use your deodorant.
Well, if I had one...
-If you've got something to say, chances are it's not important.
:(
-If they can't see it, do it.
:)
-If you hate your parents, get on their good side, and then do something really bad.
But then I'd just get yelled at more.
-Once you're 18, you're not free.
Yay.
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