NSFCD

Generally Speaking => Power On => Topic started by: Tupin on September 28, 2010, 07:55:11 PM

Title: North Korean elections.
Post by: Tupin on September 28, 2010, 07:55:11 PM
(http://i186.photobucket.com/albums/x28/TUPPYLUVER95/kimjongun.png)

Time has a sense of humor. Anyway, just kidding about the title, but Kim Jong-Un just recently got appointed a general.

He will have a lot to live up to, though. His father, among other things, did all this according to North Korea:

Invented the microwave oven, hamburger, holograms, and a more reader friendly desk.
Wrote over 1500 books.
Began walking at three weeks, talking at eight, and wrote a book on the future of the Korean people at age two.
Often scored 3 or 4 hole in ones per round in golf.
His birth was signaled by a double rainbow, a new star in the sky, and a sea monster that came out of the sea and sang the North Korean national anthem.
He can control the weather.

Cults of personality are a crazy thing, aren't they? His son's pretty much the same, too.
Title: Re: North Korean elections.
Post by: Macawmoses on September 28, 2010, 08:14:10 PM
actually we don't know much at all about his son. Anyone claiming to is pretty well extrapolating based on a few quotes from former classmates and official statements from the government.

I also like how virtually every site neglects the fact his sister also made general.
Title: Re: North Korean elections.
Post by: Cornwad on September 28, 2010, 08:16:58 PM
North Korea is still a place? I'm sure if we just ignore them they'll go away, they're like children looking for attention but with more communism.
Title: Re: North Korean elections.
Post by: Tupin on September 28, 2010, 08:25:15 PM
Quote from: Cornwad on September 28, 2010, 08:16:58 PM
North Korea is still a place? I'm sure if we just ignore them they'll go away, they're like children looking for attention but with more communism.
Yes, but with nukes and insane leaders who are 50 years behind in technology and don't understand modern diplomacy.

Also, I did know his sister became a general. Most of what we know about his son comes from Kim Jong Il's former cook who fled to Japan.
Title: Re: North Korean elections.
Post by: Silverhawk79 on September 28, 2010, 09:13:28 PM
For some reason, the "achievements" that Kim Jong-Il supposedly managed to do sound like an elaborate Chuck Norris joke.
Just saying.
Title: Re: North Korean elections.
Post by: Macawmoses on September 28, 2010, 09:57:11 PM
Quote from: Silverhawk79 on September 28, 2010, 09:13:28 PM
For some reason, the "achievements" that Kim Jong-Il supposedly managed to do sound like an elaborate Chuck Norris joke.
Just saying.
new meme: king jong il facts
Title: Re: North Korean elections.
Post by: BOREDFOREVER on September 28, 2010, 11:28:17 PM
The slang "ill" came from admiration of Kim Jong.

After Team America- World Police was made, many crew members and the entire puppeteer team defected to North Korea.  Even being in the presence of a Kim Jong puppet is enough to make someone embrace communism.

Kim Jong invented flying cars.   The only work in North Korea, where he levitates them by passively willing it to be.

Kim Jong invented the internet.

The sun does not shine in North Korea, Kim Jong simply illuminates the land.

Kim Jong is so potent that women in his presence often become pregnant and give birth to fully grown soldiers.

Korea used to be east of China and north of India, but Kim Jong likes coastline.  He picked it up and moved it.

Everyone in North Korea is actually rich.  They just don't tell people because Kim Jong doesn't want anyone trying to come in and hang out.

Kim Jong created weed when he sneezed on some hemp plants, permanently altering their DNA to contain a portion of his mighty essence.

Title: Re: North Korean elections.
Post by: Homewrecker on September 29, 2010, 07:50:42 AM
His son apparently tried to flee the country at one point in time, or something like that. I don't think he's too happy about his father.
Title: Re: North Korean elections.
Post by: Silverhawk79 on September 29, 2010, 10:13:33 AM
Quote from: BOREDFANBOY on September 28, 2010, 11:28:17 PM
The slang "ill" came from admiration of Kim Jong.

After Team America- World Police was made, many crew members and the entire puppeteer team defected to North Korea.  Even being in the presence of a Kim Jong puppet is enough to make someone embrace communism.

Kim Jong invented flying cars.   The only work in North Korea, where he levitates them by passively willing it to be.

Kim Jong invented the internet.

The sun does not shine in North Korea, Kim Jong simply illuminates the land.

Kim Jong is so potent that women in his presence often become pregnant and give birth to fully grown soldiers.

Korea used to be east of China and north of India, but Kim Jong likes coastline.  He picked it up and moved it.

Everyone in North Korea is actually rich.  They just don't tell people because Kim Jong doesn't want anyone trying to come in and hang out.

Kim Jong created weed when he sneezed on some hemp plants, permanently altering their DNA to contain a portion of his mighty essence.


It has begun.
Title: Re: North Korean elections.
Post by: Titus Andronicus on September 29, 2010, 12:28:58 PM
Kim Jong Il can divide by 0, and it is in fact the secret to being the best country in the world.
Title: Re: North Korean elections.
Post by: Tupin on September 29, 2010, 02:10:50 PM
Quote from: Persephone on September 29, 2010, 07:50:42 AM
His son apparently tried to flee the country at one point in time, or something like that. I don't think he's too happy about his father.
I think that was his younger son, he said he wanted to go to Tokyo Disneyland. His older son is described as not being strong/decisive enough.

Vice Guide to North Korea is a very good documentary if you are interested in the subject.

http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/vice_guide_to_north_korea_episode_1_of_3/ (http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/vice_guide_to_north_korea_episode_1_of_3/)

Some actual facts about the great leader:
Like his father, he is terrified of flying and takes a train everywhere.
He has a collection of over 20 thousand VHS tapes, and loves American movies except for Die Another Day.
He is one of the largest consumers of cognac, spending the equivalent of over $650 thousand on Hennessey cognac alone, while the average North Korean makes $900 a year.
He wears four inch lifts in his shoes. He's five-foot-two.
He airlifts in lobsters and caviar when he's abroad, made someone go to China just to get him some McDonalds, and rides in a bulletproof train.
He ordered the abduction of a South Korean movie producer to make a movie to kick-start the film industry in North Korea.

The man loves his cognac and food. No wonder he and his son both have diabetes.
Title: Re: North Korean elections.
Post by: Dawei on September 29, 2010, 05:29:14 PM
He's also quite the basketball fan. He's got almost every single game Michael Jordan played for the Bulls on tape, and invented his own rules for Basketball:
3 points for a dunk, 4 points for a swish from the 3-point line, 8 points for scoring in the last 3 seconds, and -1 point for every missed free-throw.
Title: Re: North Korean elections.
Post by: Lotos on October 02, 2010, 11:38:09 AM
Quote from: Silverhawk79 on September 28, 2010, 09:13:28 PM
For some reason, the "achievements" that Kim Jong-Il supposedly managed to do sound like an elaborate Chuck Norris joke.
Just saying.

Didn't they change his score in a Golf game?
Title: Re: North Korean elections.
Post by: Tupin on October 02, 2010, 01:21:21 PM
Quote from: Lotos on October 02, 2010, 11:38:09 AM
Didn't they change his score in a Golf game?
They change everything bad about him to make it seem like he is a god.
Title: Re: North Korean elections.
Post by: Allegretto on October 03, 2010, 10:35:40 AM
J-don Or Flash should be the leader.

Starcraft rules.
Title: Re: North Korean elections.
Post by: Lotos on October 06, 2010, 04:09:49 PM
Quote from: Mr. Badass. on October 03, 2010, 10:35:40 AM
J-don Or Flash should be the leader.

Starcraft rules.

Wrong Korea.
Title: Re: North Korean elections.
Post by: Tupin on October 06, 2010, 07:57:40 PM
Quote from: Lotos on October 06, 2010, 04:09:49 PM
Wrong Korea.
Yes, but North Koreans did program a mobile phone game based off of The Big Lebowski and Men in Black. And I think Kim Jong Un is the son that supposedly plays Guitar Hero constantly.