Twas the night before Christmas, And all through the forum
Some members were posting, but keeping decorum
The top threads were stickied in each board with care
And hope that activity might soon fall there.
The lurkers were watching with thoughts in there heads
That maybe they'd post in their favorite threads.
With Mack in his moo-moo and me with my beer
And Silver still hoping for more presents to appear.
When down in PO there arose such a clatter
I raced from the mod board to see what was the matter.
Into the chat thread I clicked in a flash
While bracing myself for a big server crash.
Some new posts had hit from a brand new member
That waited to register to this late in December.
His avatar was tasteful and featured a stocking
His sig was delightful and not a bit shocking
The background was red and it featured in pairs
Kittens with antlers and cute little stares.
I read through the pages; it seemed the "CoolNick"
Was playing a game or some new kind of trick
The users where asking him post after post
Did this member know what they wanted the most?
"A new game, controller, the latest new shoe"
Post after post he guessed their wants true.
I couldn't resist, and typed my own query
To test this most merry new holiday theory
I soon clicked refresh, and what do you know?
There was a reply, and it said "Ho ho ho!
A smooth well aged whiskey, a new .45,
And a few gigs of porn posted on your hard drive."
And below his small message he included a sample
Of two skinny blondes with chests I'd call ample.
It took me aback, and I stood from my chair
While holding the screen in my bewildered stare.
I then started clicking and moved with a hurry
And hit all the links with a curious fury
He was the real deal; his IP checked out
And on this late night it erased my last doubt.
And now all the users where cursing with scorn
Cause I banned that old intercourse er when he posted porn.
Merry Christmas poop holes.
(http://americanthings.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/grinch-by-web-mitdotedu1.jpg)
26 hours until I can be rid of this for another ten months...
I laughed, I cried, I blew my load.
I love it.
heh heh, not bad. thanks anyways
End twist.
4chan version
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through /b/'s house
Not a meme was stirring, not even a milhouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with paedobear,
In hopes that St mootykins soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their bed,
While visions of sharpie in bums danced in his head.
Obama in his n_gger-chief, and a suspicious trap,
Had just settled our peens for a long winter's fap.
When out on the lawn a wild challange appeared,
I sprang from the bed to see what i feared.
Away to the window I flew like the flash,
Tore open the shutters, what i saw was so cash.
The moon on the breast of the newfag camwhore,
Gave the lustre of mid-day to poop loads of gore.
When, what to my wondering eyes should see,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight staring weegees.
With a little old driver, who looked like Ralph Poot,
I knew in a moment it must be St Moot.
More rapid than Rich Raven his coursers they came,
So they spammed, and flooded, most fags the same!
"Now Weegee! now, Weegee! now, Weegee and Weegee!
On, Weegee! On, Weegee! on, on Weege and Weegee!
To the top of page 1! to the top of the wall!
Now GTFO! GTFO! GTFO or i'll ban you all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of CP, and St Moot too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St moot came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot /b/,
And his clothes were all tarnished with poop loads of PUDDI.
A bundle of CP he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a pervert, just rubbing his sack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His ass cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His big wide mouth was drawn up like a troll,
And no beard on his chin, the only gifts he had were coal.
The stump of a cock he held tight in his teeth,
And the cum it encircled his head like a pretty gay wreath.
He had a chissled face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, intercourse yeah im jelly!
He was skinny and scrawnhy, a malnutritioned old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had one hour before i'm dead.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the kids butts, with one little jerk.
And laying his finger inside of her ass,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he, exploring each cravase!
He sprang to his sleigh, to his weeges gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the like a intercourse ing predator missle.
Consequences will never be the same, i heard him exclaim,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all The Game