In my english class, I had to write a story about a man searching for his son who had been in a plane crash. Tell me what you think.
The father of only one child was almost asleep when he suddenly snapped back into reality. The reason for his sudden awakening was the scream of terror coming from the television set. A live broadcast of a plane's maiden flight played on the news. However, just as the plane reached the horizon, its left wing detached, and the plane disappeared in a flaming spiral out of eye shot of any person, including the cameraman. The father realized in horror that this was the plane that his only song was piloting.
The man knew that he could not go on without finding his son, if only to give him a proper burial. So, he immediately got up, dressed himself, and rushed out of his large house and down the street below. He hailed a cab, and when it came into view, the man noticed that it had a peculiar look and license plate number. However, he ignored this, and asked the cab driver if he had seen where the plane crashed. The driver said that he had seen, and agreed to take him there, but for a hefty fine. You see, the plane had crashed in a rocky and mountainous region, and the cab would most likely need some sort of repairs by the time their little escapade had ended. Not only that, but the cops around that part of the town did not accept small bribes. Only large ones. The cab driver wasn't even going to consider paying them with his own money. The father was a very wealthy man, so he agreed to these terms without a moment's hesitation.
The entire time he was riding in the cab, the father could not help but feel as if it was his fault. He was the one who encouraged his song to become a pilot all those years ago. It was he who paid for a teacher to educate his son on how to fly. He should have just encouraged his son to be a waiter instead. Restaurants never catch ablaze and come violently spiraling down to the ground.
The cab finally came to a stop as the diver said he'd circle around and come back in about a half hour. The father began frantically looking for his only child near the crash site. The sight of numerous survivors encouraged him, but he wasn't going to get his hopes up. Not until he found his son.
As he walked around to the front of the plane, he saw in shock that the entire pilot's cockpit was all the way under the ground. This greatly discouraged him, to the point where he felt strongly like giving up. That is, until he heard a very familiar voice. He turned around and, upon seeing his son, cried out in happiness.
As he ran towards his son to hug him, suddenly, the taxi cab driver sped over to their area. Coming to a screeching halt, he jumped out of his car with a bat, knocked the son unconscious, and, almost as soon as he had arrived, the cab began speeding off, with the man's son in the back. The father began to chase the cab, but to no avail. All he had was this information:
The license plate said "FRESH" and he had dice in the mirror.
The father of only one child was almost asleep when he suddenly snapped back into reality. The reason for his sudden awakening was the scream of terror coming from the television set. A live broadcast of a plane's maiden flight played on the news. However, just as the plane reached the horizon, its left wing detached, and the plane disappeared in a flaming spiral out of eye shot of any person, including the cameraman. The father realized in horror that this was the plane that his only song was piloting.
The man knew that he could not go on without finding his son, if only to give him a proper burial. So, he immediately got up, dressed himself, and rushed out of his large house and down the street below. He hailed a cab, and when it came into view, the man noticed that it had a peculiar look and license plate number. However, he ignored this, and asked the cab driver if he had seen where the plane crashed. The driver said that he had seen, and agreed to take him there, but for a hefty fine. You see, the plane had crashed in a rocky and mountainous region, and the cab would most likely need some sort of repairs by the time their little escapade had ended. Not only that, but the cops around that part of the town did not accept small bribes. Only large ones. The cab driver wasn't even going to consider paying them with his own money. The father was a very wealthy man, so he agreed to these terms without a moment's hesitation.
The entire time he was riding in the cab, the father could not help but feel as if it was his fault. He was the one who encouraged his song to become a pilot all those years ago. It was he who paid for a teacher to educate his son on how to fly. He should have just encouraged his son to be a waiter instead. Restaurants never catch ablaze and come violently spiraling down to the ground.
The cab finally came to a stop as the diver said he'd circle around and come back in about a half hour. The father began frantically looking for his only child near the crash site. The sight of numerous survivors encouraged him, but he wasn't going to get his hopes up. Not until he found his son.
As he walked around to the front of the plane, he saw in shock that the entire pilot's cockpit was all the way under the ground. This greatly discouraged him, to the point where he felt strongly like giving up. That is, until he heard a very familiar voice. He turned around and, upon seeing his son, cried out in happiness.
As he ran towards his son to hug him, suddenly, the taxi cab driver sped over to their area. Coming to a screeching halt, he jumped out of his car with a bat, knocked the son unconscious, and, almost as soon as he had arrived, the cab began speeding off, with the man's son in the back. The father began to chase the cab, but to no avail. All he had was this information:
The license plate said "FRESH" and he had dice in the mirror.
__________________
I emboldened the only error I could spot. It wasn't too bad. Will there be a continuation?
I miss the days where I could be creative in my essay writing in school...
Quote from: crow on October 28, 2007, 07:26:51 PM
The father of only one child was almost asleep when he suddenly snapped back into reality. The reason for his sudden awakening was the scream of terror coming from the television set. A live broadcast of a plane's maiden flight played on the news. However, just as the plane reached the horizon, its left wing detached, and the plane disappeared in a flaming spiral out of eye shot of any person, including the cameraman. The father realized in horror that this was the plane that his only song was piloting.
The man knew that he could not go on without finding his son, if only to give him a proper burial. So, he immediately got up, dressed himself, and rushed out of his large house and down the street below. He hailed a cab, and when it came into view, the man noticed that it had a peculiar look and license plate number. However, he ignored this, and asked the cab driver if he had seen where the plane crashed. The driver said that he had seen, and agreed to take him there, but for a hefty fine. You see, the plane had crashed in a rocky and mountainous region, and the cab would most likely need some sort of repairs by the time their little escapade had ended. Not only that, but the cops around that part of the town did not accept small bribes. Only large ones. The cab driver wasn't even going to consider paying them with his own money. The father was a very wealthy man, so he agreed to these terms without a moment's hesitation.
The entire time he was riding in the cab, the father could not help but feel as if it was his fault. He was the one who encouraged his song to become a pilot all those years ago. It was he who paid for a teacher to educate his son on how to fly. He should have just encouraged his son to be a waiter instead. Restaurants never catch ablaze and come violently spiraling down to the ground.
The cab finally came to a stop as the diver said he'd circle around and come back in about a half hour. The father began frantically looking for his only child near the crash site. The sight of numerous survivors encouraged him, but he wasn't going to get his hopes up. Not until he found his son.
As he walked around to the front of the plane, he saw in shock that the entire pilot's cockpit was all the way under the ground. This greatly discouraged him, to the point where he felt strongly like giving up. That is, until he heard a very familiar voice. He turned around and, upon seeing his son, cried out in happiness.
As he ran towards his son to hug him, suddenly, the taxi cab driver sped over to their area. Coming to a screeching halt, he jumped out of his car with a bat, knocked the son unconscious, and, almost as soon as he had arrived, the cab began speeding off, with the man's son in the back. The father began to chase the cab, but to no avail. All he had was this information:
The license plate said "FRESH" and he had dice in the mirror.
__________________
I emboldened the only error I could spot. It wasn't too bad. Will there be a continuation?
I miss the days where I could be creative in my essay writing in school...
Oh yeah I noticed that error.
I just didn't fix it
=PP
And anywho
Their probably won't be a continuation
I just hope my teacher will catch the refrence.