Smash Fantasy X! A parody of FFX!

[DededeCloneChris]

Chapter 6: Trip by sea.

In the night in the destroyed Besaid Village, Link was sleeping in Ike’s destroyed hut, then he heared some voices from outside, he hided behind a destroyed chair (which only the chair could hide 15% of his whole body)

“I’m going to say this to you again, he is not your sister and you know it well” Samus said.

“(What? I look like Ike’s sister?)” Link thought angrily.

“What are ya saying? I didn’t say anything about my sister and Link ya!” Ike pointed out.

“You didn’t read the script right? Your sister is dead in this story” Samus said.

“.........My....sister........is dead....here.....ya?” Ike said a little shocked.

“Yeah, now go and cry in a corner emo boy” Samus said coldly, then Ike went to cry in a corner with the word “Emo” labeled in front. Link went to sleep again.

The next morning.

“Hey Link! We’re leaving, wake up ya!” Said the now reformed Ike.

“Five more minutes......” Link said.

“Five more minutes my crazy hair ya!” He grabbed Link and threw him outside “Listen, I want to give you this ya” He hands over a blue and shiny sword to Link.

“What is this?” Link asked.

“That is a special sword, don’t lose it ok ya?”

“Fine, this sword looks good!” He said, swinging the sword like a kid with his new toy...........his destructive new toy.

“Now where is Zelda? We had to leave in 30 minutes ago” Samus said.

“Wait! I’m coming!” A voice came from far away,, Zelda was carrying a luggage around, and a big one.

“Zelda, this isn’t a vacation trip, leave those things now will ya?” Ike said.

“They are........gifts for the temples!” She said in her defense.

“Zelda, you know that this is a important journey, leave those things now” Samus said.

“Hey, wait a minute, what is exactly inside that luggage?” Link asked when he approached and opened the luggage “You were following the script’s steps right Zelda?”

“Yes, why?” She asked.

“Because your character was already prepared to use these spheres!” He said while grabbing spheres with images of dresses inside.

“Hey, those are not common spheres, those are Dresspheres!” Samus pointed out, grabbing the Gunner dressphere.

“Sooooo, can I use them?” Zelda asked.

“What about the whole “I want to be a kick ass summoner” thing?” Link said.

“Screw that! I want to change this dress for the Gunner one!” She said angrily.

Samus burned down the luggage “There, wait 2 years until they recover” She said.

“Awww!” Zelda said annoyed.

“Hurry, we’re leaving now ya!” Ike said from the entrance/exit of the village.

When Zelda was in the entrance/exit of the village, she saw the whole destroyed place and said “I’ll miss this place”

“I don’t!” Said a random voice from the village.

Just outside the village, Link saw a save sphere in front of some palms.

“Well, what is this thing?” He consulted the guide again.

Save Sphere

The most recient technology, the successor of the annoying moogles, the Save Circles and the random save places, this is of High-Tech peak, so, save often or you will be sorry!

“Bah, I don’t need to save yet! I can pass the whole story without saving!” He said proudly.

Just then, fiends appeared and a battle started! One fiend was looking like a Flan (Hence his name)

“I want to check this out now!” He attaked the flan, doing almost no damage at all “Huh?”

The camera zooms out, revealing Ike in the battle field. “Hey you! That is a elemental fiend, only magic can damage that thing ya!”

“Magic?” Link asked confused.

“Let our Black Mage teach you about that ya!” He said, Samus appears in the battle field with a Kokiri’s doll in her right arm.

“Ok, let me choose my magi-“ She stopped suddenly.

“What is it?” Link asked.

“I ran out of MP!” She said in shock.

“Then use a Ether ya!” Ike said.

“I can’t! Some invisible force prevents me from selecting Items!” Indeed, the word “Items” was black, meaning it was out “Ike, throw me a Ether!”

“I can’t, some invisible force prevents me from participating ya!” He said in shock.

“So, we’re stuck then?” Link asked.

“Yes, we are trapped in enternity watching a fiend moving his dismembered body” Samus said annoyed.

Just then, a tiny figure walked in the battle field and used Firaga in the Flan, killing him instantly. The fanfare was playing now.

“We’re saved! Thanks black dude!” Link said to the black dude.

“Hehe, it wasn’t a problem” Said Vivi while he was leaving to places where a Black Mage could never reach before (EPICNESS!)

Continuing onward, the group stopped in front of a statue and started to pray.

“What are you 3 doing?” Link asked.

“Were praying, you too need to pray or Yevon will hate us forever ya!” Said Ike.

“Who is Yevon?” Link consulted the guide.

Yevon

The popular religion in Spira, they refuse to use Machina as means of destroying Sin because they always screw up using them, luckily, they don’t have a big, or rather colossal weapon called Vegnagun below Bevelle, who is stupid enough to make a weapon like that?

Link started to pray, oddly, he prayed well and Ike didn’t taught him that (He skipped the part of where Wakka taughts Tidus to pray)

They continued to their adventure, until Link was walking mysteriously all alone below some ruins of a building, a red building. And something big was approaching, you could tell because of the music.
   
“Something big is approaching, you can tell because of the music” Link said, suddenly, a fast figure appeared from above the buildings and started to attack Link, who was mysteriously all alone!

“Lucario?!” Link said in shock “Hey, we’re friends, we shouldn’t fight againts each other!”

“I must fight you by no apparent reason” Lucario said.

1 second later, Link was defeated easily.

Game Over.

“You have no file saved, you must choose New Game to start the story” Said a voice.

“What?!” Link said.

“Good going jackass” Samus said annoyed.

“Yeah, you’re a idiot ya!” Ike said angrily.

“You could have saved in that Save Sphere but nooo!”  Zelda said annoyed.

After a whole plot of nothing and destroying Besaid Village by accident again and be saved by Vivi until the last part where our stupid protagonist had to start again the adventure.....

They continued to their adventure again, until Link was walking mysteriously all alone agian below some ruins of a building, a red building again. And something big was approaching again, you could tell because of the same music.
   
“Something big is approaching, you can tell because of the music.......AGAIN!” Link said, suddenly, the same fast figure appeared from above the same buildings and started to yet attack again Link, who was mysteriously all alone........AGAIN!

But before the creature could reach the ground and attack Link....

“STOP!” He said, Lucario magically stopped in mid-air, floating like magic!

“What is it?” The aura Pokémon asked.

“I forgot to save!” Link said in his defense.

“WHAT?! YOU WERE GOING TO CONTINUE WITHOUT SAVING AGAIN?!” Zelda asked angrily.

“I’m sorry! Wait for me here!” Link leaved in a hurry to the Save Sphere, after he saved, he returned where Lucario was floating by magic!

“Now?” Lucario asked annoyed.

“Now” The hero of time said with a smile. But he was defeated yet again.

Game Over.

After losing and continuing using the same saved file 432908 times.

“I give up” Said Lucario.

“Finally!” Link cheered.

“I can’t tolerate defeating the same weakling person over and over again” He said.

“What?!” Link said angrily, Lucario glared at him while he was walking out of the scene and then he was sweating.

“What’s the matter with him?” Link asked.

“He is Lucario, he guarded Zelda when she was little, he has been her guardian since then” Samus said.

“Thanks, but I know Zelda since childhood and Lucario didn’t existed yet!”

“I’m following the story, not like you complainer” Samus walked off.

After walking a little bit, they found a bird fiend.

“Leave this to me ya!” Ike said triumpaly, until the Blitzball in his right arm was not there anymore “Where is my ball ya?”

“Oh no, you forgot to equip it right?” Samus asked annoyed again.

“Sorry ya” Ike said depressed.

Link spoke up “Great, we’re stuck again!” Until Lucario appeared from nowhere and defeated the fiend without any difficult.

“Wait, how did he could defeat the fiend? He doesn’t joins us until the boat part!” Samus said annoyed again.

“This guide is not helping at all!” Link was searching for a explanation in the so useful guide. Until another fiend appeared, this one was bigger “Zelda, cast the aeon!”

“Change party members first!” She said from a spot.

Link looked around “Samus, switch with her”

“And why me? Is your turn, so change you with her!”

Link selected the Defend command and now it was Samus’s turn “Idiot” She said, she changed with Zelda, and she casted the aeon Valefor, and this time was right!

“I wonder how the aeon looks like” She was looking at the sky, a glyph formed in the clouds and something was descending, but her eyes widened when the “aeon” landed.

“.............PIT?!” Everyone said in unison.

“I’m the great aeon of the sky, Valefor! Fear me!” He roared, the roar was too fake.

Zelda putted her hand in her face in shame “I called Valefor, not an angel who only uses briefs!”

Pit was annoyed now “Hey! My goddess says is fine to wear briefs!” He said in his defense.

“Sorry to interrupt you 2, but we must defeat that fiend ya!”

Pit saw the fiend behind him “Oh, the fiend, yeah, let me use my Sonic Wings!” Then Sonic appeared from nowhere.

“What are you doing here? You’re interrupting the story!” Pit said with a blaming finger towards Sonic.

“Hey kid,” He grabbed Pit by his neck “the only one who can use Sonic Wing is me, the only and unique Sonic the hedgehog!” He said proudly, Pit was getting damage.

“Hey! You can hurt the brief aeon boy!” Link said, Pit was getting angry.

“Put me down Sonic the murder hedgehog!” Pit said, but strangely, Sonic was smirking evily.

And then Lucario appeared from nowhere “No, he is turning evil in ths story!” He started to glow, closed his eyes and saw a red aura in Sonic “We must stop him!”

Link saw the whole aura part “Wait, his actual powers weren’t deleted in this story too? This is just unfair!” He complained.

“Save that for later, we must defeat him!” Everyone seated on the ground “What are you doing?” Lucario asked.

“We know what will happen next, you just will KO him with one turn, the initial turn, and probably Overkill him, and breaking the damage limit magically” Link said.

“........................” Was all that Lucario said before actually overkilling Sonic and breaking the damage limit magically. Sonic turned into pyreflies “Now finish that fiend” He left the scene and went to the dock.

“Sonic Wings!” Pit flapped his wings and a wind attack surged within and defeated the fiend, he roared fakely again in victory.

The party eventually made it to the docks, but Link didn’t knew that he couls move 15 spaces in his current Sphere Grid, which Peach didn’t told him about.

[Triforce_Luigi]

Epic. It had VIVI! Plus, it addressed the problem of not saving in a comical fashion. Great job!

[DededeCloneChris]

Epic. It had VIVI! Plus, it addressed the problem of not saving in a comical fashion. Great job!

Thank you!

[DededeCloneChris]

Chapter 7: Boats and hands

Link went first to the dock as he suddenly remembered something from his past.

"Hey Link! Let's go to Zanarkand!" Peach said excited.

"Alright! Let's go!" Link said excited.

"What about me? The kick ass summoner?" Zelda asked..........excited.

"You 2 can come with me!" Link told the girls.

"No way! You must choose one!" Zelda asked annoyed.

Link paused for a moment when he suddenly was sounding like Toon Link "But.......I......I" Fox appeared out of nowhere with Peach and Zelda from both of his sides.

"You can't decide and you're crying now? Pathetic!" He said to Toon Link.

"I hate you" Toon Link said.

"What? I can't heard you!" Fox taunted Toon Link.

"I HATE YOU!" Toon Link shouted, Fox gasped.

"Good job!" Zelda said.

"Show him what you've got!" Peach said before the memory faded.

"Spira to Link, wake up ya!" Ike said to Link.

Link snapped out of his flashback "Huh?"

"Hey bruddha, you know what is the Sphere Grid right?"

"What is that?"

"I'll tell ya" Suddenly the screen went to the tutorial. And there was a huge plate with markings on it.

Welcome to the explanation of the Sphere Grid, in this game you can level up when you reach the certain ammount of AP to move your node to another node, the most boring and lazy form to level up by the date

The explanation took 3 hours!

Link was sleeping while standing.

"LINK!" Ike yelled at Link's ear, making the Hyrulian hero jump in surprise "We're leaving ya! Hurry up or you will make Samus mad!" He aboarded the ship.

"I'm coming!" He said running inside the ship. Like 10 people showed up to bid farewell to the summoner...........although half of them were celebrating because they will not have to worry about Ultima users.

The group were in the sea as their next destination was Kilika Port, to go to the Kilika Temple (A so obvious name)

Link went to the engine room first.

"Hmm, what interesting clothes! You must be from afar!" Said a guy with a big package.

"That's right!" Link said proudly.

"Great to meet you, my name is Apu the XXllll" Indeed, the guy was Apu from the Simpsons!

"Apu the who?" Link asked confused.

"Apu the XXllll" Apu pointed out.

"Apu the who?"

"Apu the XXllll"

"Apu the who?"

"Apu the XXllll"

"Apu the who?"

"Apu the XXllll"

"Apu the who?"

"Apu the XXllll"

"Apu the who?"

"Apu the XXllll"

Sadly, this went for hours. :(

"Apu the who?"

"Apu th-you know what, that doesn't matters, what matters is to buy one of my wares!" Apu said while showing his wares to Link "Also if you want, I would appreciate if you could donate some gil to my shop"

Link was holding 8 potions "But I'm buying these things from you! That is not better than donate?"

"Actually, is not, I need extra money to escape from the authorities of Bevelle, because I sworn that I would only sell my things to some summoner's group"

"I'm with the summoner" Link pointed out.

"Oh, that's why you're buying from me" Apu smiled.

"Just let me see how much this costs.................I'll buy 3 potions and donate 1 gil" He said.

"Thank you for your assistance!" Apu greeted him, Link left to the engine room this time.

He saw 2 big birds running inside "some big hamster thing" as he thought.

"Whoa! What are those things?!" He asked to a lady near them.

"You don't know what are the Chocobos?"

"I got near Crazy Hand's toxin"

"Oh well, those are Chocobos, they're pretty cute aren't they?" She smiled at Link.

"Epona is better than those birds" Link muttered.

"Did you said something?"

"Nothing! Nothing at all!" Link said surprised, leaving the engine room and went to the front of the boat to find Zelda.

"Hi there Link!" She greeted Link with a smile.

"Hi!" Link greeted her as well. Both were looking at the sea.

Zelda paused for a moment before talking to Link "Do you think I can be a kick ass summoner like my father was?"

"I'm not sure about the kick ass par-" Zelda glared at Link "I mean, yes!"

"Good! I can't wait to be like that!" She said happily.

"Just be lucky that my father is not your guardian"

"Which was his name?"

"Fox" Link said in shame.

"Fox? What coincidence, my father did have a guardian with the name of Fox!" Zelda said surprised "This must be the destiny who brought us together!"

"(Or rather the people who took us in here)" Link thought, before he and Zelda were laughing.

"I'll do it..........I will save Spira for the sake of everyone!" She said excited.

5 minutes of watching the sea later, the water shaked violently and Zelda slipped towards the edge of the boat.

"Zelda!!!" Link tried to grab Zelda's hand, but failed, then Lucario acted quickly and grabbed Zelda by her waist.

"Thank you Lucario" She said.

From the water, something very big was rising.

"CRAZY HAND!!!!!!" Marth shouted before grabbing an ankler and pointing it at-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone yelled in a disgusted form because the "fin" was the middle colossal finger of Crazy Hand, who was censored for health reasons.

"Darn it! Take this!" Marth fired the ankler to Crazy Hand's censored middle finger. Ike yelled "No!" but Marth ignored it.

"So do you prefer to watch the middle finger of a colossal monster?" Marth asked to Ike, who thought again for a moment and shaked his head quickly.

"That thing is pulling us! We have to take the ankler back!" Roy yelled.

"No! He is heading to Kilika! We have to change his course!" Marth yelled back.

Just then, mini hands were approaching from the top of the censored middle finger.

"Fiends!" Yelled a person.

"Alright guys..............and Samus and Zelda, let's take them down!" Link commanded. Everyone took their battle positions "Alright, that big censored finger is way too far, Ike, Samus, attack that with magic and the Blitzball's ball!"

"..............The part of the Bliztball's ball sounds confusing ya" Ike remarked.

".................Attack the mini Crazy Hands!" Link commanded and everyone were doing what Link told them to do.

But they didn't beated him at all.

"Darn it! We need to beat that thing and fast!" Link said, then he thought for a moment "Hmm, Ike, can you give me the Blitzball's ball?"

"Why can you just said ball ya?" Ike asked annoyed.

"Just give me the Blitzball's ball!" Ike stared at him before giving the Blitzball's ball to Link "Lucario, kick this ball!"

"Why?" Lucario asked confused.

"If my calculations are correct, your current strength should defeat that thing with one blow!" Link said, Lucario nodded and he kicked the Blitzball's ball...........just for the Blitzball's ball to be blowed up.

"......................................" Everyone got silent for a minute "We need a more resistant Blitzball's ball!" Then Apu appeared with a bag full of resistant Blitzball's balls "I got resistant Blitzball's ball at a high discount!" Link ran to Apu and bought a Blitzball's ball, but it happened the same thing as the previous Blitzball's ball "One more!" And again "One more!" And again "One more!" And again "One more!" And again.

They all failed misserably, but Samus finished the battle with a thunder. Resulting in a success.

"We did it!" Everyone said jumping happily. Except for Samus and Lucario.

Link realized that he bought all the Blitzball's balls and ran out of money.

But the mission did failed, because Crazy Hand made it to Kilika Port, he floated way high in the sky above Kilika Port and the people living there saw a huge shadow approaching from above.

"Mom, what is that thing coming from the sky?" Asked a kid to his mom.

"That is the death and I hope you were good until now" The mom replied to the kid before both were being squashed by Crazy Hand and eventually killed as the hand went to hide into the sea.

[Triforce_Luigi]

Poor kid... Oh well, their lives are unimportant, great chapter!

[DededeCloneChris]

Poor kid... Oh well, their lives are unimportant, great chapter!

LOL, this story explains how the NPC are unnimportant. ;D

BTW, you should read my new fan fiction.