I'm going to the store.

[Moriarty]

You never bought the right kind, anyway. A bible would be more useful than the ones you've been getting lately.

Leatherbound? I hear those have a nice feel.

Not as good as you'd think. It's like having a duck between your legs.

Ah. I could see how that would hurt in all the wrong places. What about paperback?

Not absorbent enough.

You're very particular in your supplies, but I suppose it's necessary giving what it is used for. Have you tried using the abridged version? Or perhaps only one testament?

[Dill]

You never bought the right kind, anyway. A bible would be more useful than the ones you've been getting lately.

Leatherbound? I hear those have a nice feel.

Not as good as you'd think. It's like having a duck between your legs.

Ah. I could see how that would hurt in all the wrong places. What about paperback?

Not absorbent enough.

You're very particular in your supplies, but I suppose it's necessary giving what it is used for. Have you tried using the abridged version? Or perhaps only one testament?

No, but if it's any consolation, I've tried using a hanukkah candle.