The Man and the Bologna Sandwich... (FIRST 1.5 PARAGRAPHS REVEALED!)

[sleepin_dude_99]

Awesome, no?

I'll post the first few paragraphs in a few minutes...

Also, once this is done, I'll write the sequal, The Man and the Turkey Sandwich, followed by the Prequal, The man and the Cheese and Lettuce Sandwich...

THE MAN AND THE BOLOGNA SANDWICH
The epic short story you just can't put down!

"Insanely pathetic" The New York Times
"I LIKE TURTALZ" Anonymous
"Why anyone would read this is beyond us" The Rolling Stones
"GRAWR" Mr. Ressetti



   The air was thick, the light was dim, and the bread was getting moldy. Mr. Mayer, A.K.A. Oscar, was a big fan of bologna sandwiches. You'd never see him without one. Walking down the Street? Had a bologna sandwich in one hand, a darker than black coffee in the other, and a plaid robe on. No one knew why Oscar wore the plaid robe. Rumors say that's ALL he'd ever wear. Ever. Anyways, he'd been in his Recliner, the only recliner in the area, so it was called The Recliner. He heard a sound in his head while watching The Man Show that automatically alerted him. It was time for Dinner. The only choice? A bologna sandwich. He got up, and waddled over to the kitchen. He looked around. He spotted the bologna, the paper plates, then the bread. "What?" He said to himself. "Moldy... bread?" He said. "Moldy... BREAD? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!" He threw his bologna flavored slippers on and ran out the door. At Wizzy McChez Street, he made a left. In his sight was Super Stop and Shop. He waddled as fast as he could down the sidewalk. He looked around to make sure no one was watching, the dashed inside.

   The second automatic door wasn't working, so Oscar had to pry it open himself. The minute he opened the door, he darted to aisle 16, the Necessities of Life aisle. "Hmmm... Beer... eggs... pornography... milk... water... aha! Bread!" He grabbed a package of Potato Bread (pohtaytoe Brand Bread) and waddled to the Register. He put the bread in front of the Cashier. She rang it up. "Ninety-Nine Cents." He gave her a dollar, and said "Keep the change." She rolled her eyes "Thank you SO much." And Oscar waddled off.

[Kayo]

*burp* i ate it... :(