BFB's Bad Advice for Young People

[Silverhawk79]

Where can I find a job that doesn't suck? :(

[Macawmoses]

Where can I find a job that doesn't suck? :(

How do I usurp Silver without him knowing?

[Pyotr]

I saw my father's anus.

[BOREDFOREVER]

What's an effective way to get $600 in the frame of one month without breaking the law?

What? Nothing illegal?  That's dumb.  If you want to make money without doing something illegal you have to get a job.  You're too young to gamble, and even many small plans are techinically illegal, like running rackets at school.  I mean, I think you're even to young to get out to Nevada and whore out a little.

So that's it.  Get a job.  Make your money and get the intercourse  out.

I mean, even finding a reason to sue somebody is going to take more than a month.



In case you didn't notice, this aint the thread to be skittish about the law in.  You wanna make money fast, you gotta do some dirt.

Where can I find a job that doesn't suck? :(

In the mob.  Those guys don't pay taxes, eat really rich foods, and get to have over the top body language.  I mean, there's a pretty good chance that you'll get killed or go to jail, but other than that it's a good field to look into.

Same with drug dealer.  You'll intercourse  crazy, drugged out chicks, you'll drive cars that you put crazy effects on, and deal with foreigners with impressive moustaches.

How do I usurp Silver without him knowing?

I think you lost already.  I could PM you something, but I'd rather drink instead.

Anywho, a good plan would be to murder him in his sleep.  He'd never know it was you, because he'd be sleeping, then he'd be dead.  Wear his skin and take his stuff.

Other than that I would consider bribing Mack.  Or get Silver a good job, and offer to watch the forums for him while he's working.  Get him to grant you his full powers, then turn the staff against him.

I saw my father's anus.

Are you proud of this?  Or do you need advice?  My advice?  Man the intercourse  up.  We all have poop holes (what's the plural of anus? anii?), and your dad is no different.  The bigger question is, why did you see your dad's anus?  If he showed it to you on purpose, you punch him straight in the face.

But really, you used to live just a few inches from there until he shot you into your mom's vagina.

[Thirdkoopa]

How do I get a better laptop charger?

[BOREDFOREVER]

How do I get a better laptop charger?

Steal one.  What you do is get a bunch of your friends together.  They're going to initiate a flash mob inside best buy.  Make it Wrold Cup themed, why the hell not.  Have them all enter the store at seperate intervals.  They need to have synced watches or clocks or timepieces.  The very moment they all begin making noise or acting like jackasses, you stuff the charger in your pants.  They mob should only last 1:30.  Everyone should leave en masse, and you should fold yourself into that crowd.  Theft success.

[SkyMyl]

What's the "Wrold Cup"?

[The Riddler]

I have the worst allergies. I can't stop sneezing and my eyes keep watering and gunking up. HEAL ME, BOREDFANBOY, WITH YOUR KNOWLEDGE.

[jnfs2014]

How does one "catch 'em all"?

[Rayquarian]

What's the "Wrold Cup"?

It's an international tournament where countries face off in the world's most popular sport: vuvuzela blowing.

[BOREDFOREVER]

I have the worst allergies. I can't stop sneezing and my eyes keep watering and gunking up. HEAL ME, BOREDFANBOY, WITH YOUR KNOWLEDGE.

Drink hot whiskey with honey in it.  Or do some cocaine.  That poop will clear you right up.  Or do both.  Then you won't give a intercourse  what allergies are.

How does one "catch 'em all"?

What a noble calling.  Well, you're going to need a wad of cash and easy travel.  I would recommend getting a job at an airline or something like that where you get free travel.  In each city, to save cash, always try to pick up skanky girls before resorting to prostitutes.  And if you really want to catch 'em all, your gonna have to swing both ways and do some catching.  I mean, there's really only one good way to get anal warts.  But if you make it out alive, you will have spanned the globe and, indeed, caught them all.

What's the "Wrold Cup"?

Instead of asking questions you know the answer to, shouldn't you be asking yourself "What's it like to kiss a girl that's not my mom?"

[Lohn Jocke]

Hey, BFB, you exist, don't you?
So why isn't there porn made of you?

[BOREDFOREVER]

Hey, BFB, you exist, don't you?
So why isn't there porn made of you?

Listen: There is.  In 2003, three people where so in awe of me that they brought a proposition to me:  They wanted to film me doing life's most enjoyable performance.

The equipment was low budget.  There was two cameras, a handful of lights, and a girl more beautiful that any other you will ever meet in your life.  Her name was Veronica, and men cried at the sight of her, for they knew they could never have her.  The director operated one camera, and had a friend operated the second.

I did that which must needs be done.  That's when the chaos began.

Brian, the director, soon committed suicide.  His note was simple:

"I have seen truth,  I will never be able to achieve it."

Steve, the camera man, now resides in a metal institution.  He has a rare condition that plagues him.  Although he is not gay, only the site of me performing the dance of power could bring him to climax.  This haunts him, and he is trusting modern science to find a way to help him.  I met his primary doctor, who gave me only one word: "Incurable."  The doctor looked at me with a mixture of awe and trepidation, and walked away.

Veronica is now a whore in Vegas.  She is like a cocaine addict: always chasing the greatest high.  Men are used and wasted in her insatiable search for something to match my magesty.

The video has never been shown, for fear that an audience would be permanently ruined by it.  It resides in my own home, walled away in a secret area of my basement.

I exist, and so does pronography featuring me, so the requirement of rule 34 has been satiated.  But if anything should ever happen to that video, whoa to those who attempt to create something new to fill that void.  Abandon all hope ye who enter there.

[SkyMyl]

This isn't a question, but I just want you to be aware, Bored. That was easily the best answer to any question in the history of existence.