Break Em All Review

[Macawmoses]

Break Em All

Bouncing balls off of paddles to destroy bricks certainly isn't an original concept. Dating back to the 70's, Breakout titles have found their way into the hearts of many, something D3 opted to do with its own version of Breakout, affectionately called Break Em All. Would their low priced "redux" be a smashing success, or would it fall through the cracks?

Really, that depends on perspective. If you are a merciful gamer, willing to overlook glaring flaws and pick up Superman 64, a feat no gamer has been able to accomplish, then Break Em All (BEA) should be like grandma giving you $100 and letting you loose in the toy department. For those of you mortal souls, there is value to be found here, but it does come at a cost.

One notable cost is that of your precious ears. Falling into the trap virtually every cheap game does, BEA has chosen a poor mix of techno to drown you, and anyone sitting near you, out. Not only is the music bland and uninspiring, it's repetitive. Every time you progress through BEA, another rare occurrence, you are treated with even more obnoxious electronic.

No less, you can turn the sound off (highly recommended, by the way), but you can not ignore the graphics. Perhaps I am a little too cruel in saying it is graphically unimpressive, as the blocks offer pleasant tones, and even some of the backgrounds seem to fit right in. However, that leaves backgrounds that fail to meet the standards the others set. Unfortunately, one key aspect of  BEA's graphics is astoundingly underpar - the ball itself. As you follow the little devil around, your eyes will wander and strain. Why? It's already been stated, the ball is a little devil. Perhaps this is a programming feature to ensure the difficulty stays up there, but it still feels unnecessary.

Ignoring those issues, one must analyze what Break Em All is about, which is being a simple and addictive light puzzler. In doing that, it succeeds where previous Arkanoid/Breakout titles have not. For those of you looking to go it alone, you have a couple of options. The first is Totokon, a one player mode broken up into to smaller parts - standard and random play. Your standard play offers a fair amount of bulk, really. Starting as an amoeba, your task is to rid the field of a simple array of blocks with the paddle. Quite the task for a single celled organism. You'll progress through 50 more levels, challenging various aspects of the title, like banking shots, using power ups, and more, going straight up the evolutionary line past human and right into Supreme Being. Great for narcissists! Random play is rather similar, but features one of some 3 million randomly generated "puzzles".

Should that over-abundance of breaking blocks seem too much, you can take a break and get into quest mode. You'll progress through ten levels of brick smashing fun, broken up into three sub-sectional levels, and a boss fight. These boss fights are actually rather interesting, largely because of the random elements they bring into play, such as adding orbs to deflect the ball or sending tiles to crash down on a shot lined up to nail their one hit kill zone. Unfortunately, these battles can get a little tedious, but with lines like "Warning, The Plant...is Coming", you can't help chuckling, and then realizing that plants are apparently tougher than one may think.

Astoundingly, you can also go through the "Quest Mode" via downloadable multiplayer, all using just one cart. Really, it is a great feature that I've been sure to make use of with my friends interested in that kind of gaming. On the other hand, the actual multiplayer experience, which sitll allows for download play, is extremely disappointing. Your paddle is somewhat selectable, offering strenghts and weaknesses of its own. Mind you, these are completely negligible as multitudes of balls come descending on the unsuspecting players, eliminating the lot of you with ease, leaving the winner left to luck. Rather useless mode, at best.

Luck, though, is also an issue in the single player romps. Lining up your shots is nearly impossible to do, meaning at times you are left in the hands of Lady Luck. She's quite malevolent for a deity. Frustration will ensure regularly, even with a fairly standard game that can be loads of fun. Besides, those times you do get that one in a million shot, fainting will occur and you'll lose anyways.

On the other hand, the largest addition to the Breakout family comes from power ups. Before you begin your game, you get presented options as to which you would like to use. These range from slowing the ball down, to a larger paddle, to completely obliterating all of the blocks in your way to victory. As you make hits, a power up meter fills, and as it fills these little spices of life come into play, one at a time, with a progressive buildup. That powerful ball that I just mentioned takes saving up all of your power ups before it can be used. When you're ready, hit one of the directional arrows on the control pad, or tap the power up icon on the screen. Easy to do, which is a factor in making BEA tolerable. In fact, easy controls in general are present, as you just slide the stylus anywhere on the screen to move the paddle.

While the controls are tight, the modes of play generally fun, and the concept one that aged well, there are still a myriad of issues. The graphics are far below where they should be, offering sights that just don't help the title keep you in the game. Similarly, the sound is atrocious at best, leaving you with the option of being tone deaf or turning the sound off. Other complaints can be made for the weak multiplayer and illogical physics in Break Em All, but these aren't nearly as bad as the aforementioned qualms. Somehow, though, Break Em All succeeds in drawing you in to a game that has been around for decades. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there is a certain charm that allows all of the weaknesses to dissipate, and a solid niche title to be left behind. Break Em All may have fallen through the cracks, but any puzzle fan should be able to bounce right in for a new take on an old concept. If you have a few bucks to spare, break out of your computer gaming habits and pick up the real deal.

Score: 6/10

[Tupin]

Sadly, this is the best ball busting game on the DS. Arkanoid DS is horrible and Breakout on one of those compilations is really mediocre.

Still, it's an okay Breakout clone.

[Macawmoses]

It's really a solid title - but you have to really love Breakout clones. I enjoyed my time with it, but there was so much lacking. Keep in mind it was an 05 title though.

[Tupin]

It was released in Japan in 2005, America in 2006. Still, the DS was just starting to take off when it came out.

[Macawmoses]

The change between Japan and American releases were minimal (I've played both), which is why I used the earlier date. It was likely in development in 2004, which is the year the DS came out, which gives it a good excuse for only getting 6 by the standards set now.