The Doorway : The Beginning

[The_MasterSword1]

This probly sucks so yeah.

The Doorway
By:
The_MasterSword1

The Station
On a brisk cold and rainy January night, a butler, by the name of Ralf, came to pick up a little girl from the Amtrak Train Station. The girls name was Heather, Heather S. Kalif. Heather was a tall, slender yet perfectly formed girl. She had a dirty-blondish tinted hair that came down to here stomach. Her eyes were a bluish brown color and skin was a pale tan tent, she is also at the age of 13.
As she waited at the station, she felt a sharp warm brisk wind, come at her like it was about to pierce right through her body but at the same time, it felt like a soothing and calming wind almost hard to describe. It was almost like the wind was trying to push her towards her and surround her with gracefulness and serenity. As she walked through the crowd, she accidentally stumbled upon a young man. Heather, falling down and scared look up at the man and says, "I'm truly sorry sir... Please forgive me!" The man looked at her surprised and reaches his hand out smiling replying in a kind gentle and soothing voice, "There's no need to be scared of me miss, I wouldn't ever dream of hurting anyone," after helping her up he looks at her and continues to talk, "My name is Walsh Morrison miss."
Heather giving a silent sigh of relief and loosens up and calmly replies to him in a attentive way, "Glad to make my acquaintance with you Walsh, I'm Heather Kalif. I'm here to meet a man by the name of Gregory Dournhaigen because, I'm supposed to stay with my uncle for the summer due to my mother, and father, are going to America to help some scientists on a breakthrough on stopping cancer with radiation." As they continued to walk on talking to each other they both spot a man holding a sign up showing the name of, Heather Catelyn Kalif''. Heather turns to Walsh telling time before she goes in a silent matter acting as she doesn't want to leave him, "Well, I hope I'll see you again sometime.." soon as she said that, Walsh looked at her and boldly replies, "You will Heather, I promise that." She turns away smiling and waving to Walsh going towards Ralf the butler. Right after she got into the car the rain and wind grew violently worse and rougher. Heather looked back but didn't see Walsh at all, it was like soon as she left he vanished, like he was part of the wind.
Soon as they got inside the Butler took her luggage and put them into her room. Surprisingly, she didn't pack a whole lot of things as an average 13 year old girl would depriving from the fact that they are of age that they like to flirt and test out dating most of them. "Welcome to my home!" a man said in a happy yet dull manner due to the tone of his voice, "I am Gregory H. Dournhaigen, I suppose that you are my sisters girl, Heather, shall I presume?" Heather, smiled and bowed to her uncle in a respectful manner, "Yes sir, my name is Heather." The man astounded and lifted her face up and smiled, "My lord! What great manners you have! But, you do not have to do that for me Heather will you please, come in..."
~The Doorway~

The Middle Room
"Please, do come in Heather. I want to know of your travels," said Gregory taking her to the dining hall. Heather amazed at the size of the dining hall and its exotic thing in side it following not behind thought was not a person but even more piercing was her spiking and growing curiosity. Heather finally stopped eating and asked Gregory about the rare and unique items that were in the room over dinner.
"My my... you really have came a long way and you say your mother and father are in America helping on a way to stop and possibly kill cancer with radiation? Astounding just astounding. Anyways, if you would like I can get Ralf to take you to your room." Saying Gregory smiling and looks Heather. She gets up and cleans her mess up at the table replying in a more relaxed manner after talking to him for awhile, "Thank you Uncle Gregory, I'm most grate..." Gregory stops Heather and quickly adding on, "Your welcome but, I must warn you not to go towards the room in the very center of this house unless you wish to get into deep trouble missy." Heather, baffled and confused looked at him cockeyed and was curious about what was in the room now.
That night, she didn't sleep a bit, but only thinking about what Gregory said and what the doors to the room in the middle of the house had on it and violently got up and snuck out of her bed walking towards the room. As she walked to the center of the house she heard Gregory talking to someone and quickly hid.
"Walsh, what are we going to do about the other realms? The time draws near and we still have no one that's able to open this door. We've been getting to the other realms by seals and there power is almost drained..." Walsh about to speak but stops and make a deep sigh and starts to talk back to Gregory, "Yes, I know but we mustn't give up hope because the link to all the secrets and the core of all the realms meet there. We will find some one." As they are talking, Ralf comes in and begins to say, "Sir, what about the girl?" Walsh and Gregory shocked yet still curious about the idea and they both nodded replying, "That's not a bad idea at all we might be able to get what we want plus more." Soon as Heather heard that she knew something was up and it mustn't be good.
Heather slowly creeps back to bed but unfortunately, a small wooden plank makes a noise and alarms Gregory but not Walsh. "Who's there?" Shouts Gregory alarmed. As that happened Heather, broke into a swift stealthy run eventually making it around to the hall of her room huffing and puffing. Well did she know someone pokes her shoulder from behind making her jump and turning around pointing at him, "That scared the living hell out of me! Don't do that again because if you do, I'll hurt you!" The man not even phased said smiling, "Oh sorry you was in my way and I was wanting to go to bed so... yea... anyways let me guess, you over heard them saying something about using you for some magical door right?" She stared at him amazed at him and managed to stutter out, "How did you..." he replied before she could finish, "Because , I know what there after and every thing. My name is Alex by the way, Alex Troddsdale. And your name must be Heather Kalif?" She nodded and turned around looking for them cautiously and then he grabbed her arm and pushed her into the bed room and locked the door soon as the came past the corner. "Hello Gregory! What are you doing up at this time of hour my good man?" said Alex and without hesitation Gregory said to Alex snapping, "Where is she boy!?" "Where's who?" asked Alex like nothing went on. "Don't lie to me boy! You know who I'm talking about!" barked Gregory angrily. "Umm... Let's see... Wait... I know who! Wait... Never mind nope, I don't know who you're talking about my good man, sorry." Said Alex like he was confused and then Gregory finally said," Alright, alright I'm sorry for bothering you boy."
Finally, they walk on past Alex's room and he unlocks the door and goes in and calls for Heather to come out. "You mustn't tell a soul about what I'm about to tell you Heather! You must understand because, if you do tell, you will surely be used for this reason or even killed." Heather hesitantly but slowly nodded and began to listen.....

[Magnum]

Opening seems really abrupt, but I hate introductions to characters as well. Also, REALLY short. It's like watching a mini-episode of anything, you smile for the 5 minutes then it goes away, and none of it felt worth it. Except that last part, because I am interested.  =3

[The_MasterSword1]

Well cause, it was supposed to be short kinda and the end is supposed to catch you.
The Doorway
By:
The_MasterSword

The Legend and Current State
As Heather sat there and listened to Alex, he began to tell her about what's going on. "Millions of years ago lived people, dragons, monsters, angels, demons, and other kinds of mythical beings on this world. Around 100million B.C. there was a conflict called the Humane/Sub Conflict started after humans tried experimenting with mythical creatures and Laguz (Sub-Humans) and a revolt started. One person Magious Maxous (Leader of all races) Setup the Racial Separatism Act where all races have a realm of there own. Currently, we know of 12 Realms the Human Realm, Dragon Realm, Monster Realm, Heaven Realm, Hell Realm, Demonic Realm, Angelic Realm, Shadow Realm, Laguz Realm, Judges and Justice Realm, The Abandoned Realm of Outcasts, and a newly discovered realm called the Mirror Realm."
"We don't know much about the Shadow nor the Mirror Realm nor have we been to them. We believe that the Mirror Realm is just the opposite of everything that went on and the Shadow Realm is the dark side of everyone, but that's a mere theory. The Judges and Justice Realm is where people accused of crimes in a realm go to if a problem arises far too serious for just one realm."
There are many ways to get to other realms. People like Gregory and Walsh, uses things called Seal Sigma's but, people like me know a lot more about what is going on and know how to open the door's with a special crest necklace. But then, there are some who have no need for mere tools and can just open the door with out anything and can even teleport between realms without even using anything! There's other ways you can get to realms also, some are easy and some are almost impossible to get through of course."
"Anyways, let's get to the main conflict. Gregory and Walsh, are trying to get to figure out how to get the door open to cross to other realms to take the citizens there and experiment on them! They've also taken others already by Sigma's but there power is running out so they can't experiment to benefit there selves! They must be stopped but unfortunately, other people from other realms are also doing this with them because of the money. They've set up an organization called Universal War and Experiment Agency. The leader is both Gregory and Walsh. It must be stopped!"
"But, what do I have to do with this?" Asked Heather still confused about how she's involved in this. Alex looking at her and began explaining why about her, "Your father, Lukas, and your mother, Felecia, is of the Royal Family holding all the realms together keeping the peace. You are the heir of the Kalif Royal Family and you along with the other family members, are responsible of the realm's actions, you must stop the terror that is going on before it repeats itself!"
Soon as Alex and Heather stopped talking Gregory and Wash popped out and tried to nab Heather. "Got you!" yelled Walsh but instead the tips of Alex's hand turned into sharp razor claws and he ripped open Walsh's hand and busting a main artery in his hand. "Damn you Alex!" said Walsh screaming in pain falling into his knees. During the incident, Alex grabbed Heather and ran out of the room towards the middle room. In the middle room was a big huge black door with blue aurora surrounding it and a diamond shaped crest in the middle of the door. "Hang on Heather!" said Alex and put his crested necklace and the door opened and sucked them both in and the door started to close. "Thanks a lot boy," said Gregory smirking and walking in with Walsh.
~The Doorway~
"Long as there is good in this world, evil still lurks in the hearts of man."

"Alex!!" yelled Heather trying to hold on as tight as possible even though no matter how strong her grip was she was slowly slipping away. "Don't let go Heather no matter what!" shouted Alex back. A real heavy pull on both, Heather's and Alex's body made them suddenly become stunned and unable to do anything. At that instant, just for a second, Heather's grip vanished and she was pulled away by the mysterious pull.
Alex was pulled away and a bright light flashed and blinded him and then the next thing he knows he felt a strong hit to the stomach making him go out cold. When Alex woke up he saw that he was in a bed with someone looking above him. "HEATHER!" said Alex jumping and looking around and finally stopping and looking at the person. "You're finally awake," said the person, "My name's Julia Reyson and this is my home. If it wasn't for me getting to you in time you'd be in a worse place." "A worse place?" asked Alex. "Yes that was to the Outlanders Realm where most are cannibals." Alex alarmed getting out of bed running and at the shore of the island, he starts to grow big silvery-white dragon wings and begins to lift off but Julia stabs him with a tiny knife that cancels out the half-transformation.
"Ouch, what the hell was that for?!" yelled Alex looking at Julia grabbing his hand. "Please stay for awhile." Alex sighed and went back inside and began to talk to Julia. "I'm sorry about rushing out like that. My name is Alex Troddsdale and I live in the Human Realm." Said Alex and then Julia looked at him shocked and curious and replied, "Why the Human Realm?" Alex gave a smirk sipping his tea and said, "Two reasons," holding 2 fingers up, "One, to protect the sealed door, and two, to look out for a young girl of the true Heir, Heather Kalif." Soon as Alex said that Julia spit out her tea immediately and blinked. "You mean that girl was a Kalif?! Oh my god, what have I done... oh my, oh dear, oh my." Julia kept repeating over and over. Alex getting up and retransforming to his half state like earlier and walked out this time succeeding to fly off and right behind him was Julia.
"Wait!" said Julia, "I'm coming with." Alex blinked and asked, "Are you sure?" Julia nodded and they flew off the island. "So, where's the closest portal here?" Asked Alex looking at Julia and Julia moving slightly in front of him replying, "East of Kilite in a cave called the Oricharion Cave. So just leave it to me!" Alex gave a brief nod and thinks to himself, 'There's something odd about her and she seems familiar. Anyways, regardless right now I'm not in the position to be doing anything I guess that I'm just gona have to rely on her right now.'
Heather wakes up wondering where she is and begins to look around. "Uhg, my head, it's killing me," she shakes her head slowly and looks around noticing she's in a barren wasteland seeing nothing but sand. Heather starts to walk and continues to walk under 2 blazing hot suns directly looking down on her. "This heat, it's unbearable!" The two suns at their highest peak are one on top of the other and everything starts to become blazing hot making the sand turn into glass behind her. "Oh my god, this isn't good. I have to get out of here!" Heather starts to run and she's intercepted by a massive looking monster that looked like a worm and had a huge mouth with teeth surrounding its outer edges of its mouth. "What the... heck is this thing? It's... creepy..." Heather starts to back up but, she realizes that she can't because of the massive heat.
Trapped, Heather, looked up at the beast jumping out of the sand coming at her about to eat her so she stands there embracing the worst giving a smile. "Well this is it... Alex stay strong my friend..." As the worm is right about to eat her, Heather squints her eyes close and a massive psychic power was unleashed freezing the sand and creating an ice wall behind her, then, freezing the massive monster in front of her. Noticing she wasn't eaten she opened her eyes and looked up seeing the worm frozen and in shock falls to the ground backing up and sits next to the ice wall making her whole back shivers making her turn around and see what has happened. "Did, I do this?" Blinked Heather in shock and in amazement gives a big sigh and get up after cooling off and starts to walk.
A few hours later she sees a small village and she starts to run for joy to the village. When reaching it she was immediately surrounded by the tribal people there and was sent to the Main Hall. "Sir, we have found someone roaming around the desert and surprisingly unharmed. We think she's one of the Kikardian Army's highest ranked people." The Chief, looks at the guards and then at Heather, asking her a few questions. "Mademoiselle, my first question is who are you?" Heather not hesitating one bit replies quickly to the Chief, "My name is Heather Kalif and I am one the true heir of the Kalif Royal Family." The Chief sits there, aimlessly wondering if this was true and throws another question out at her. "Who was your father?" Heather again, quickly replied to the question, "Lukas Raynald Kalif if my father."
Finally, the Chief thought of something to prove if she was. "To prove that you are Lukas' daughter, you must complete a trail. A trail, that was created a long time ago to prove if they were of royal blood because there are 5 kinds of Kalif's, the Psychic Elementalists (people who can create fire, ice, ECT.), the Brute Warriors (people who used force combat or heavy blows), the Ver Hide Rouges (Hidden Rouges or silent assassins), Flaming Lotus' (Long distant killers), and then the Royal Fehires (The Royal Family that have the bloodline of all the above). And we are going to find out first if you even are part of the Royal Family and then if you are a Kalif, we are going to see what branch you are of."
"The trial is called Kerker der Hölle (Hell's Dungeon). And you must complete the 64 rooms of the dungeon. But, here's the thing, you must complete it within 3 days." After the conversation was over, Heather, the Chief, and his guards, began to leave the village and back into the desert Heather went.
"You mean I have to go back into the desert again!?" moaned Heather. "Why of course! We wouldn't just keep the trial grounds at the village now would we? If we did, there would be all sorts of people looking for us and trying to get information on how to get through the dungeon!" said the Chief, "And also, we don't want to many people knowing where we are at." A few hours later, after the sun has set and night has fallen, they finally arrived at the trial grounds.
"Thank god! I was getting tired here!" said Heather complaining. The Chief glared at Heather and gave a sigh of annoyance, "You know, you don't have to state it out. We could just say you're not a Kalif and just kill you..." Heather quickly responding to it in a more politely manner, "Oh um... I mean thank you very much for bringing me here so I can prove that I am!" The Chief and his followers laughed at the situation she put herself in. "Oh Mademoiselle Heather, we were merely joking at that statement, we don't kill a person proclaiming to be a Kalif regardless of there attitude because, if you were, we'd be sentence to murder in the highest degree and we'd cease to exist. Anyways, were at the center of the Trial Grounds, the Trial of Truth is the most complex and hardest trial of all, if you can complete this one, you can complete any trial here and possible in all the realms." Heather slowly walked towards the entrance as it opened on its own. "The trial has begun! Go! Into the Dark Abyss of the dungeon!" said the Chief as Heather, without hesitation walking in with the door closing behind her.

[Magnum]

Okay, I thought it was just the first chapter, but this is going so fast. You seem good with words, you just need to paint a better image. Take your time and tell about the setting, give small facts, ect. Also, develop the characters some more.
Heather: RANDOMLY A BADASS
Alex: MY WINGS GIVE ME SUPER STRENGTH
Julia: Can I glomp you?

Might edit more in later

[The_MasterSword1]

[spoiler]Well, after I get the general story laid out, I'm going to start setting out there backgrounds better. Then the next three chapters will be about them.[/spoiler]
The Doorway
Hell's Dungeon Trial
By
The_MasterSword1


As Heather entered the dungeon, all light faded away. The door entrance behind her was sealed shut by a stone blocked by magic.
She looked behind her and sighed as she pressed forward into the unknown depths of the dungeon. "Man its dark in here I wish I could see...." Soon as Courtney said that, something sparked from the side. Soon after, oil ignited and fire appeared from the sides of the walls. Heather astounded about what happened she stood there with a blank less face staring at what she did. "If I can do that...., there is no telling what else I can do..."
She proceeded on continuing till she made it to the first room of the trial. "My god how does it take just to get to one freakin' room!!!" Heather proclaimed annoyed, as she ranted and raved along, something lurked in the shadows of the room waiting to strike and she did not know. She looked around to see if anyone was following her but she thought to her stupidly who would be in here? She left the room as the being followed her.
A few hours later, she finally took a break after passing 9 rooms with ease. Heather laid down on the floor and gave out a very big sigh staring at the ceiling. Soon as she about fell asleep the unknown being came down to strike soon as it did, she jumped and hesitated and a shield appeared in front of her stopping the assault. "Well well... what do we have here now? I haven't seen such magic used in centuries. What is your purpose here?" They stated. "I am Heather Kalif descendant of Lukas Kalif. I am here to prove my bloodline and to discover my true powers." They smiled and gave a big grin. "So... it is true, the proclaiming heir has arrived. Well I'm Partetimus the Hell's Trail Dungeon's Guardian and guide. I serve to guide all people through it if they are able to prove themselves worthy of doing so. You shall now be tested if you are worthy of such help."
With them words Heather jumped back into a counter defensive position as the shield dissolved and vanished. Partetimus, lowering his head, stood in a broad stance with one arm to the ground while the other arm behind him was held above his head. "Prepare yourself child." Soon after that the battle began between them both, Heather now knowing almost anything about her powers rushes into the hardest fight she has to face yet. The first real battle for her in Hell's Dungeon has begun.


~The Doorway~

Alex and Julia heading for the Oricharion Cave finally landed on the continent. "What is this island?" Alex asked cautiously looking around for anything suspicious. Julia replied, "This is the Continent of Koteira, the Goddess of the Mist. There are 12 continents and 3 islands that are called Shin-Tei (Vanishing Points). The reason that there called Shin-Tei is because they are guarded by mystic barriers and can only accessed through warps and different dimensions. Also, they are special islands that are only accessible by highly skilled people. They are our Guardian Dungeons, if all the seals are broken from the three, a great chaos will arise unless conquered by the Kalif Bloodline, or by someone of pure heart."
"Continuing on, we need to get to the Oricharion cave to save your friend!! We must push forward." As they went on there way a dark ominous over sky appeared soon as they got deeper into the dense jungle. Finally, a mist of pure blackness enshrouded them and made everything become at a visibility of zero. "Oh darn," sighed Julia stopping, "Were caught in the middle of a mist storm." "Mist storm?" Asked Alex stopping too. "Yeah they are quiet frequent here. It's just like fog except mist that pitch black and you can't see. A lot of monsters appear at this time we better be extra careful right now." Julia, reaching into her bag, and taking out a bluish looking orb and thossed it up and it glimmered in all of the darkness guiding the way. Soon as they noticed there surroundings, they realized that they have been surrounded by some savage cannibals and were taken to there village.
As they were being taken, they saw some of the strangest things and noticed things never even thought of being seen. Soon as they got there they were thrown into a wooden cell tied to each other back to back, hoping that they would be alright. They tried getting up for over an hour finally getting up and looking out the cell seeing all the amazing buildings and people. "Wow......" they both said astounded seeing all the huge buildings. Soon after, one of the guards untied them and brought to the Great Hall of Council where they saw 12 people in chair high above them.
"Welcome Alex and Julia to Rein-Guard.... We brought you here to discuss the current situation of the realms and Heather Kalif, the daughter of Lukas and Micheal Kalif. We know that you were separated because we were informed about this. We know you are going to the Oricharion Cave to help her but unfortunately, you shall not till you have done what you need to do here...." Alex looked at Julia and stepped forward.
"Thank you sir, I am honored to be here and what is it exactly you mean by what we need to do here?" Another Tribal Council Man spoke, "You must set the Guardians free once again to help you and get the sacred Oricharion Stone to help you on your way. You shall start soon I know your worried about Heather but fear not, she is commenced in her own trial that her fore fathers have done. She will be fine. With that said, we will speak of the current situation more tomorrow. Now you will sleep in the high quarters for the night. Have some fun and relax because, tomorrow, you will begin the real journey."

[Red]

While I somewhat agree with Magnum, I don't think it's so severe. Plus, I like the direction it's going.

So yeah, keep it up.  ^_^

[The_MasterSword1]

The Doorway
Within Rein-Guard
By:
The_MasterSword1

As Alex and Julia left the Great Council, they began to roam the city of Rein-Guard. The vast city was full of shops, restaurants, entertainment places, and many more vast things. They began to let there cares go and have fun in the midst of the city. "This is amazing!" said Alex looking at Julia, "There's so much here; and so much to do! I... I don't know what to do first!" They went to place to place and doing everything from eating Korka or smoked fish flavored with elderberries and black berries, to watching plays. Finally, they both sat down at the Town Square and listened to the music being played by the band.
"Wow, I've had such a great night," said Julia smiling, "I really love this how about you Alex?" Alex, looking up at the stars, just dazing off and slightly smiles as he replies, "Yeah, it is..." Julia taking his hand looking and him, and out of no where, she kisses him as he immediately backs away from her. "What are you doing?!" jumped Alex, "We just met and you kiss me? That's... that's just not right. I'm sorry." "I'm sorry... I'm just... Just so alone..." Julia slowly starts to cry as she sits there disappointed that Alex doesn't like her at all as he gets up and leaves her sitting on the bench. A few hours later, the alarms go off across the town. Alex, suddenly thrashing out of bed looking for Julia, runs out to see the town being overran by monsters. "What the hell is going on here?" He exclaims. Alex closes his eyes and starts to chant, "<font face= "symbol"I pray to thy heaven and thy hell. Rise from thy ashes and into the phoenix sun!"</font> Just then, his hands and feet turn into sharp claws.
"Everyone, this is a Class 9 Alert! All warriors, report to battle! I repeat, report to battle!" Alex, ripping through everything, desperately looking for Julia, and see the many disembodied men ripped from limbs, organs, and many other thins as he reaches the edge of town. A loud screech is heard making everything break into silence. A thick, black mist appears and engulfs the city as a large beast with 2 wings, blue skin, 8 tails with each one holds a set of 4 spikes around 6 inches long, the head was a diamond oval shaped head with a mark that looked like a star, spear, and z all together. The beast stood as tall as an 8 story high building and as wide as half a football field and its tails were at least 40 feet long.
"There it is!! Koteira's pet, Kaiken! Everyone, run!!!" said all the towns people and warriors as Alex looked at them and sighed yelling, "You humans make me sick ... and you call yourselves warriors? Please, I someone that's younger and more courageous than you. Your all are just a bunch of cowards." As he said that, he hoped at the same time Julia heard what he's about to say, "Also, Julia, I'm sorry about earlier, I didn't know what to do, but I don't think that's this is a good time to think about that now. Please understand, I've got bigger things."
Alex's skin turns black and scaly, his claws grow sharper, he grows silver looking wings, and a wyvern shaped head. His transformation finally complete, he lets out a howl as he fires into the air to fight Kaiken. As the fiery battle begins, Julia sits there in the bushes looking at Alex fight for everyone's lives. She sits, terrified, shocked, and just feeling like she's going to die. Alex, using his tail to bash Kaiken like a club but the beast just stands there merely looking at him.
"This darn thing just won't budge!" Alex ramming at the Kaiken hard as he can but, he can't even dent the beast. Alex, tired, scrapped, cut, and wore gets hit by the beast with a heavy blow to his chest and being knocked back to a tree. As Alex slides down the tree, the Kaiken is preparing for the final blow to strike Alex. "Demonic Wind Strike!" A blue wind appeared in the shape of a sword in the Kaiken's left hand then strikes at Alex. "Damn it... move Alex move!" Before the Kaiken could hit Alex, someone jumped in the way blocking the gust of wind summoned from the blade. Not only did they block it but, it also placed a deep cut into them.
"Ju- Julia..!" Yelled Alex as he seen Julia jump in between them and take the blow. Julia body was covered in and Alex went into a state of rage. Alex, getting up and picking Julia up and sitting her aside saying, "I'm sorry, I really am"; he looks at the beast and lies Julia down out of the way, "Kaiken, you choose the wrong person to mess with. You know why? Well, I'll tell why, it because you shall die. Right here, right now!"
Alex's aura turns from white to black and completely consumes his whole transformed body. He doubles his fists up and bashes them together chanting; "Come into the abyss oh divine fire. Engulf your power into me and let me vanquish thy foe into thy night with the shards of light piercing the sky!" A black ball appears to be growing in strength as Alex chants and it starts to be absorbed to his arms. When he finishes the chant he looks at the Kaiken as he walks to it.
Alex, standing there looking at the Kaiken, lunges at the Kaiken's chest and shoves both of his hands at the Kaiken not only hitting him but penetrating through his chest coming out the back of him. The Kaiken, standing there for a brief moment suddenly comes crashing down to the ground as Alex rushes back to Julia, "Julia! You ok? Please don't die on me oh god please don't I'm sorry about earlier." He holds her close to him and looks at her. She grips his hand as her wounds start to slowly heal, "Silly, I won't die that easy, I'm just like you, a member of the Ontoro Clan, clan of Wyverns. We just don't die."
The fog was finally clearing, everyone cheered around Alex and Julia as he reverted to his human form. "Thank you, you have done. We are upmost grateful you have slain the Kaiken. Please, meet me in the High Council Chamber and request for Raizo." The man walked away disappearing into the fray of cheering men. Alex picked Julia up and rushed her past the fray into the inn as he scurried to take care of her injury.
He took a long slender leaf from his baggage and placed it on her wound. When doing so, the leaf started to sizzle and smoke as it appeared to sear the wound shut. "It hurt Alex! "Julia moaned in pain and trying not to move. After around ten minutes, the burning stopped and the leaf attached itself to her. "The Guya Leaf will stay on for around a week and hopefully by then your wound will be healed." Alex, sitting down by her, gave a warm smile as he watched her fall asleep.
He left the building and roamed the town deep in his own thoughts about what to do next. Whether he should leave Julia behind or wait for her.
"I don't know what to do. Why do I feel so confused?" He gave a sigh and the Grand Councilor Raizo walked before him. "My son, you are troubled I see. May it be about whether you should leave Julia or let her follow you? I know you care about her in the short time you just met her, she's your friend and companion. Look at it this way, would you leave behind a comrade if they told you too?" Grand Councilor Raizo turned around after speaking and begin to leave Alex. "Grand Councilor Raizo, thank you..." Alex bowed to him and went off back to where Julia had been resting.
The Doorway


Heather was aimlessly dodging Partetimus' attack as he continued to strike. "Come on child, your just merely wasting energy dodging. Attack me already! Maybe it's that you can't?" Heather still dodging he stopped and laughed at her, "Well, this is great! A girl that has no idea of her powers! This is grand. No one's dared to come in here like that since your father Lukas. You've been so isolated your whole life, you poor insolent worm. I pity you."
Heather became furious and from nowhere a sword appeared in her hand. The shape of the sword was unusual. It was straight, but it was riveted on both sides and holes in the middle, the hilt was curved and finely edged on the sides. She looked at the sword then at him as he laughs again, "Let me tell you a little secret. This place help bring out a person's inner power, it unseals it and lets it seep out. The rest is the user's job to bring it out. Emotions bring it out, anger, hatred, despair, fear, and everything else, your power feeds on them drawing it out. This is the true meaning of the dungeon. Not to determine your bloodline. But to determine who you really are. Enough talk, let us fight." She suddenly charges at him holding the sword in the air, Partetimus, with no effort just grabs the sword and throws her into the wall.
She gets up and looks at him, he sword still in her hand starts to glow a white color and started to shake, its violent shaking became so rough, it displaced from her hands and bolted towards Partetimus' chest. He caught the blade but it forced past him and thrusts through his body. Partetimus stands there looking at Heather, as it he's between life and death. As the sword vanishes, his wound regenerates and disappears. "Well done, well done. You pass. I am now officially your guide for this dungeon. But, be warned, this dungeon is far from over. I was only the beginning of this trial you must go through."
She nodded and the door opened. On the other side the room was covered with white crystals that sparkled like diamonds. The floor was as clear as the night sky and the ceiling was open but, you couldn't see anything but only pure darkness. "It's so dark, yet, it's so bright at time. I feel like I'm in between day and night like a bad omen. I can't escape this feeling.' Heather went into a state of paranoia from the view and started hyperventilating and collapsed to the floor as Partetimus kneeled down and began to calm her down. He attached a white cloak then came too not to long after doing so. "Are you ok Heather?" asked Partetimus. She nodded as he continued to speak, "This place will play tricks on your mind if you're not careful. Many people have died in this dungeon cause of it. This place will suck the very life from you."
They continued forward while doing so, they heard all sorts of noises, animal noises, human noises, then there was the noises that were just bazaar and seemed like some demon was after them. Finally, they reached a four-way. "Let's stop and rest Heather. We need to save as much energy as possible in case a beast comes by and strikes." Partetimus took some dirt in his hands and with a little force they started to change into logs. He laid the logs down and ignited them by a simple snap from his fingers. After that, he took some meat out of his bag which appeared to be a rabbit.
"Time to eat Heather, you need to keep your strength up." Said Partetimus walking to Heather as she replied in an out of mind state, "O- oh... thank you Partetimus." She took the rabbit and began to nibble on the rabbit not being able to eat because she has so much on her mind that she wasn't hungry. She dazed up looking at the blackness above her thinking of what she's going to do when she gets out of the dungeon as slowly but inevitably started to fall asleep.
"Look out!" Exclaimed Partetimus as he tried to get Heather and run. Before he could get away, a magic steel cage fell on the two. Three mysterious looking beings appeared that looked like half man and half beast of different types. One appeared to be part lion, another crocodile, and then last one appeared to be part hawk. They all surrounded the cage and look at her saying, "We welcome you.... To Hell."

[Mikoyan]

The Doorway
By:
The_MasterSword1

The Station
On a brisk, cold, and rainy January night, a butler [removed comma] by the name of Ralf [removed comma] came to pick up a little girl from the Amtrak train station [train station is not a personal noun unless referring to a specific one; there are tons of Amtrak train stations]. The girl's [possessive apostrophe] name was Heather, Heather S. Kalif. She [pronouns are your best friends] was a tall, slender yet perfectly formed girl. [I don't get it; being tall and slender are good qualities for being perfectly formed]. She had [removed "a;" you don't have a hair on your head but instead hair] dirty-blondish tinted hair that came down to her stomach.  Her eyes were a bluish brown color and her skin was a pale tan tint [tint not tent], she is also at the age of 13. [find a better place to put this because it doesn't go with the rest of your sentence]

I don't think my time allows me to proof the entire thing so I did this para for now.
Few things I noticed:
1. The verbs are a bit dry; words like "was, had, were" should not be used on a consistent basis.
2. Keep the tense constant. Choose one and stick to it.
3. Always, always proof your work before posting.
4. Comma usage is sporadic and strange. Figure out how to use them more tactfully.

Sorry if I sound a bit harsh, but these are what I believe to be good pieces of advice. I am probably an assy story writer (I've never posted one online) but I know enough grammar to get around, so I can only advise on the latter.

[The_MasterSword1]

Thanks I'll try to work on it more.