BFB's Bad Advice for Young People

[Dog Food]

Should I break up with Totla's girlfriend?

[tibar21]

yes. lately at school in class, a certain teacher has been making gestures toward me that are quite suggestive. this includes passing me notes, bending over inn front of me, and what not. I don't know what to do cause i told my friends but they don't believe me. There's a twist. The teacher is a dude, and i'm also a dude, and i don't roll that way. What should I do?

[Relichris]

Should I break up with Totla's girlfriend?

Can I join?  Lol jk, but seriously can I?

[JrDude]

Oh, sure.  You were asking for a friend of yours, right?  Oh, no, I get it.  You're being ambiguos to try to lure me into conversation, asking you what the reasons is so that you can play coy and get some attention.  Well, I have something that really helps in situations like this:  I don't really give a intercourse .

Sure, I asked for a friend. And I just wanted to see a funny response to a dumb question. I don't care about attention, though since you probably won't believe that, I'll leave it at that.

[Thirdkoopa]

Should I break up with KJ, Totla, and Totla's girlfriend and get Reli to stop asking to join in?

[Relichris]

Should I break up with KJ, Totla, and Totla's girlfriend and get Reli to stop asking to join in?

But TK, you don't want that. 

[Kayo]

Should I break up with KJ, Totla, his girlfriend, TK, and force Reli to stop trying to join in?

[SkyMyl]

How do I stop the clouds from raining over my town?

[Relichris]

Should I break up with KJ, Totla, his girlfriend, TK, and force Reli to stop trying to join in?

What's with everyone trying to cockblock me?   =(

[Thirdkoopa]

What's with everyone trying to cockblock me?   =(

There's too many guys in it as is.

And you'd downgrade the quality of it to zero.

[Totla]

I'm staying with my girlfriend. KJ can also stay with my girlfriend making the best kind of three-way. Everyone else get the intercourse  out.

[Relichris]

There's too many guys in it as is.

And you'd downgrade the quality of it to zero.

RAGE!  You make everything the quality of zero.  >:U

I'm staying with my girlfriend. KJ can also stay with my girlfriend making the best kind of three-way. Everyone else get the intercourse  out.

:(

[BOREDFOREVER]

how do i become more of a depressed little vagina-y?

This is a tough one.  I can only assume you have some plan in mind, like getting some kind of emo chick.  Well, let me see if I can do some research somewhere were depressed pussies hang out.  Oh, look at that.  We're already here.  Here's a list of things to do:

1) Start reading manga.  Imagine you are a part of the story.

2) Torrent Anime no one else has ever heard of.  The story line should be about something like unresolved incestioul love, or a boy inhabited by a spirit.

3)  Tell people you don't need alcohol to have fun, so you'll never drink.

4) Write really specific fan fiction.  Try something like a story about Frodo's father in The Lord of the Rings, or feed it back into anime and manga.

5) Compose music using household items.  It should have no real rythym or tempo.  You should sinc it up to 80s workout tapes and post the result on youtube.

6) Convince yourself you're asexual, as in not interested in in either sex.

7) Post poems on online forums.  Get pissy when people don't comment.  If the do comment, argue with whatever they say.  No one will ever get what you put into your work.

Now, I'm going to write some things in a spoiler box to depress you.  For those reading along, you may not want to open this if you have hope.

[spoiler]
1) No one will love you as much as your mother did.  Others will just put up with you.

2) You will never know what real love feels like.  You are incapable.

3) You will never be attractive enough for love at first sight.

4) That college degree you were thinking about will do you absolutely no good.  The market is saturated with graduates.  However, you will spend the rest of your life paying off the loans.

5) Your dick is small.  Anyone who has seen it has a nickname for you.  "Lil Smokie."

6) Whenever you leave a room, people breath a sigh of relief.  They do the same thing in internet chat.

7) Anytime anyone has ever given you a compliment, they were being sarcastic.

8) No dating service would ever accept you.

9) People don't think you're funny.  They just laugh so you'll shut up.

10) People don't think you're smart.  They just agree so you'll shut up.

11) If by some miracle you actually find some woman to sleep with you and bear a child for you, that child will love you unconditionally.  That is, until it's in its early teens.  It will then realise that you are a sham, nothing more than a worthless lie with skin, and hate you for it.

12) You will never accomplish anything of note.  You will die alone in a rented apartment.
[/spoiler]

Should I break up with my girlfriend?

Should I break up with Totla's girlfriend?

Should I break up with Totla's girlfriend?

Should I break up with KJ, Totla, and Totla's girlfriend and get Reli to stop asking to join in?

Listen, Totla.  Your girlfriends a whore.  However, if she puts out, there is a solid plan out there for you.  If she got with KJ, she's obviously into girls two.  You get her to bring a girl along.  Grab a condom.  When things are going hot and heavy, pop the rubber off and start hitting it raw.  Bust one off in her and hit the bricks.  Forget her number.  Even if she does track you down, she's gonna have a hard time pinning it on you after being with so many others.  I would blame it on TK.

yes. lately at school in class, a certain teacher has been making gestures toward me that are quite suggestive. this includes passing me notes, bending over inn front of me, and what not. I don't know what to do cause i told my friends but they don't believe me. There's a twist. The teacher is a dude, and i'm also a dude, and i don't roll that way. What should I do?

Oh, boo hoo.  You're never gonna make it in this world if a little swordplay turns your stomach.  Here's what you need to do.  Start to play the fopp.  Blush.  Act like you're unsure, struggling with your roiling emotions.  Giggle.  Get him to buy you alcohol.  Sit in his lap.  And then, just when he thinks he's about to hit the jackpot, you blackmail the living poop out of him.  Say that you'll tell people he forced you to drink and sit in his lap or else he would make sure you'ld never graduate.  And don't be some vagina-y who settles for an A or something like that.  You get cold, hard cash.

[Tahrann]

You get cold, hard cash.

Or hard something else.... *Cough*

Anyway, here is a rather serious question: how do I get the ugly girl from work to stop stalking me? She knows where I live, has my phone number, and now goes to the same college as I do. Help!

[JrDude]

Tonight, like litterally 45 or so minutes ago. I got called twice by a blocked number. First time it was a long pause after I said "hello?" (twice), then they said something unclear, it sounded like they said "uzumaki ninny" but that doesn't seem to make sense, immediately after the person said that I said "OK" then they hung up.
Second time they called I said "Heeeello?" *pause* "Heeeeeey buddy, whaaaaat's uuuuuuuuup?" *pause* then they said "It's time" *hang up*

I'm actually not scared, and this is a true story, but I wanna know, what should I do?
Also, if I die or something, you guys possibly know what happened.