Are you aware of the self-righteous tendencies of the macaw bird and other bird?

[Flying Chickens]

Once upon a time there was a little purple unicorn rainbow named Tobias. Tobias loved everything in the world equally, but he loved equally especially the taste of Vector breakfast cereal. One day Tobias was eating a bowl of Vector breakfast cereal when he choked on a healthy granola cluster. He fell to the ground, unable to breathe! He coughed and he coughed. He coughed and he coughed! Then, when all hope looked bleak, the granola cluster came shooting forth from his larynx. Tobias could breathe once more! He got up, and he set the Vector breakfast cereal on fire to remind himself to never ever ever eat the Vector breakfast cereal again. His friend Manotick the cougar hunting squirrel came over to eat some Vector breakfast cereal but was sadly disappointed to discover that Tobias had set the Vector breakfast cereal on fire with his conveniently placed lighter in his unic-horn. Tobias and Manotick set out to go for a walk through the delightful wilderness of kuhbuhduh valley where they lived. As they walked they talked about why they liked each other and how they were good friends and prospective women to engage in leisurely non-reproductive sexual intercourse with. They both laughed at the Elmore the silly bunny when they spotted him chewing on the forlorn earlobe of a dismembered orphan. Orphans were a poor person food here in the kuhbuhduh valley, where the most poshest most richest most excellentest creatures ate Proscuitto wrapped macaroni. Elmore the silly bunny was clearly a lower class citizen that deserved to have nothing! So Tobias torched him too, saying in his pretty pony voice "You impoverished silly ninny!" Manotick laughed, and Tobias laughed, and even the charred Elmore let out a bit of a giggle too. They all walked happily along until they came upon a black forboding castle nestled gently away in the caress of the bones of a thousand slaughtered orphans. Whoever lived here was very poor, but in large doses. Tobias knocked on the door with his horn because it's difficult to knock with hooves, and a man in a pink tuxedo slid the door open egregiously. Dubious towards this mans living habits, Tobias peered inside and saw a beautiful maiden named Mozzanna sitting in a chair just waiting for leisurely sexual intercourse. The pink tuxedo man then died of unknown causes and Tobias and Mozzanna had safe leisurely sexual intercourse with a condom.
Suddenly, the castle exploded blasting Manotick, Mozzanna, and Tobias high into the air! Luckily Mozzanna was made of Jesus so she flew them all to safety on her hover-cross. They all lived happily ever after forever and ever until it was discovered that Elmore had blown up the castle. For revenge or something or other. Tobias sat munching happily away on a bowl of Vector breakfast cereal when suddenly he felt a granola cluster stuck in his throat! This time, he had had enough adventuring so he lie down on the floor and yawned sleepily, letting death's cold harsh embrace wrap around his throat lovingly as his lungs constricted from lack of oxygen flow. And that's why there's no f*cking unicorns anymore.


I've been on T3 for a week and I must say, this is the best thing to come out of it so far.

[Kayo]

...the intercourse  did I just read

[Silverhawk79]

I nominate that story for an Oscar, a Grammy, and a Larry.

[Kayo]

Who names a rainbow Tobias?

[Super]

Flying Chickens, what did I say about levitating onto the forums?

[Kayo]

Flying Chickens, what did I say about levitating onto the forums?

Noonononono you said something about levitating chickens flying onto the forums.

[Flying Chickens]

Flying Chickens, what did I say about levitating onto the forums?

I don't recall. Remind me?

[ThePowerOfOne]

Funny. I just won a purple inflatable unicorn with a rainbow horn at the fair last night. But I named it sugartits.

[Kayo]

Funny. I just won a purple inflatable unicorn with a rainbow horn at the fair last night. But I named it sugartits.

Poor unicorn.

[Doodle]

Truly a masterpiece.

[Macawmoses]

Go play soccer boy.

[Flying Chickens]

Go play soccer boy.

Why must you hate fun, MacDonaldsormoses, WHY!?!

[Kayo]

Why must you hate fun, MacDonaldsormoses, WHY!?!

How fattening.

[Custom]

arrested development

[Flying Chickens]

arrested development

The name Tobias existed before Arrested Development. Geez.

That said, I got it from AR.