I was watching Comedy Central the other day and all the comedians there were hilarious! But now three of their jokes are stuck in my head! I need something else to occupy it.
Beat these jokes!
Wanda Sykes,
"When people say 'I do' in marriage, until death do you part, it's kinda funny because divorce rates are skyhigh now. So when people are looking you dead in the eye and saying, 'I do', they are just lying their a**es off! They say marriage is a contract, marriage is not a contract! Contracts have warentees, so the customers can take the product back. 'I'm not letting my son in my house!' 'Yeah but, he's broke.."
Another funny joke,
"You know why I like Utah, because nobody swears there, they use replacement words... You know, haven't you seen a movie where all the guys are tough, and the movie shouldn't be on there cause everybody was swearing on there, so they have the tough guys going around and saying, 'What the fruit is going on here?!' 'I'm going to whoop your balony with a pinneaple sundae, butterscotch!'.....These people don't sound tough, they sound HUNGRY! When my mom saw kids running around, she would always go up to them and say, 'Have a piece a pie, have a piece of pie..' Apparently, my mom sounded a lot like Adam Sandler. Adam is awesome, because he can sing a song, it won't make sense, and people pay him big G's just for singing those, like.
A song for you,
A song for you,
I wrote a song for
you in a canoooooooooooe...
This man is brilliant! Here's 20,000 dollars!
Why thank you, would you like to have a piece a pie?"
Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence.
That was so unfunny I think I contracted herpes.
Quote from: darkmariov2 on February 09, 2008, 11:11:08 AM
That was so unfunny I think I contracted herpes.
I didn't say it was funny :-\
their not mine, their from comendy central!
Hi, welcome to Comedy Central.
Those acts are ages old and not all that funny.
omg i saw the mind of mencia and he said beaner and it was hilariosu
Quote from: JMV290 on February 09, 2008, 12:40:21 PM
omg i saw the mind of mencia and he said beaner and it was hilariosu
DE DE DEEEE
what funny jokes?
Quote from: darkmariov2 on February 09, 2008, 12:42:01 PM
Quote from: JMV290 on February 09, 2008, 12:40:21 PM
omg i saw the mind of mencia and he said beaner and it was hilariosu
DE DE DEEEE
None of you should marry a dee.
Quote from: darkmariov2 on February 09, 2008, 12:42:01 PM
Quote from: JMV290 on February 09, 2008, 12:40:21 PM
omg i saw the mind of mencia and he said beaner and it was hilariosu
DE DE DEEEE
LIEK DIS?
(http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/characters/images/kingdedede/kingdedede_071025b.jpg)
Quote from: AFL_ITALIA on February 09, 2008, 06:04:09 PM
Quote from: darkmariov2 on February 09, 2008, 12:42:01 PM
Quote from: JMV290 on February 09, 2008, 12:40:21 PM
omg i saw the mind of mencia and he said beaner and it was hilariosu
DE DE DEEEE
LIEK DIS?
(http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/characters/images/kingdedede/kingdedede_071025b.jpg)
you got it dood
Quote from: darkmariov2 on February 09, 2008, 06:10:54 PM
Quote from: AFL_ITALIA on February 09, 2008, 06:04:09 PM
Quote from: darkmariov2 on February 09, 2008, 12:42:01 PM
Quote from: JMV290 on February 09, 2008, 12:40:21 PM
omg i saw the mind of mencia and he said beaner and it was hilariosu
DE DE DEEEE
LIEK DIS?
(http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/characters/images/kingdedede/kingdedede_071025b.jpg)
you got it dood
(http://www.rightwinged.com/images/photoshops/yougotitdude.jpg) (Bad Quality :()
I'm ashamed to be the first poster in that quote tower.
Quote from: JMV290 on February 09, 2008, 07:01:50 PM
I'm ashamed to be the first poster in that quote tower.
sry :(
This one time I was watching Comedy Central and they said something about how relationships don't work I think it was dane cook he's so funny because he yells and screams and I can't really understand him and he's funny because he points out the obvious things and I find that funny.
Quote from: W4W1 on February 09, 2008, 06:56:55 PM
Quote from: darkmariov2 on February 09, 2008, 06:10:54 PM
Quote from: AFL_ITALIA on February 09, 2008, 06:04:09 PM
Quote from: darkmariov2 on February 09, 2008, 12:42:01 PM
Quote from: JMV290 on February 09, 2008, 12:40:21 PM
omg i saw the mind of mencia and he said beaner and it was hilariosu
DE DE DEEEE
LIEK DIS?
(http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/characters/images/kingdedede/kingdedede_071025b.jpg)
you got it dood
(http://www.rightwinged.com/images/photoshops/yougotitdude.jpg) (Bad Quality :()
Win.
Quote from: AFL_ITALIA on February 09, 2008, 06:04:09 PM
Quote from: darkmariov2 on February 09, 2008, 12:42:01 PM
Quote from: JMV290 on February 09, 2008, 12:40:21 PM
omg i saw the mind of mencia and he said beaner and it was hilariosu
DE DE DEEEE
LIEK DIS?
(http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/characters/images/kingdedede/kingdedede_071025b.jpg)
AH NEED A MONSTAH TA COLBBAH THAT THEYAH KIRBAY
Quote from: mecha_fang on February 09, 2008, 07:17:19 PM
Quote from: AFL_ITALIA on February 09, 2008, 06:04:09 PM
Quote from: darkmariov2 on February 09, 2008, 12:42:01 PM
Quote from: JMV290 on February 09, 2008, 12:40:21 PM
omg i saw the mind of mencia and he said beaner and it was hilariosu
DE DE DEEEE
LIEK DIS?
(http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/characters/images/kingdedede/kingdedede_071025b.jpg)
AH NEED A MONSTAH TA COLBBAH THAT THEYAH KIRBAY
that's what we do best at N.M.E.
Quote from: darkmariov2 on February 09, 2008, 07:17:51 PM
Quote from: mecha_fang on February 09, 2008, 07:17:19 PM
Quote from: AFL_ITALIA on February 09, 2008, 06:04:09 PM
Quote from: darkmariov2 on February 09, 2008, 12:42:01 PM
Quote from: JMV290 on February 09, 2008, 12:40:21 PM
omg i saw the mind of mencia and he said beaner and it was hilariosu
DE DE DEEEE
LIEK DIS?
(http://www.smashbros.com/en_us/characters/images/kingdedede/kingdedede_071025b.jpg)
AH NEED A MONSTAH TA COLBBAH THAT THEYAH KIRBAY
that's what we do best at N.M.E.
YA BETTER GET IT WITH A MONEY BACK GUARANTAY!
Quote from: Motion on February 09, 2008, 07:05:08 PM
This one time I was watching Comedy Central and they said something about how relationships don't work I think it was dane cook he's so funny because he yells and screams and I can't really understand him and he's funny because he points out the obvious things and I find that funny.
Your sarcasm isn't very amusing. Please work on that.
Title= Oxymoron?
Possibly.
Quote from: Kazooie-Banjo on February 09, 2008, 10:32:32 PM
Quote from: Motion on February 09, 2008, 07:05:08 PM
This one time I was watching Comedy Central and they said something about how relationships don't work I think it was dane cook he's so funny because he yells and screams and I can't really understand him and he's funny because he points out the obvious things and I find that funny.
Your sarcasm isn't very amusing. Please work on that.
I wasn't going for "sarcasm" as much it was "wow I'm retard that finds comedy central and Dane Cook funny" kind of thing.
A man goes to his doctor and tells him when he has sex with his wife it only last 2 minutes. His doctor told him to masturbate each time before sex. The very next day the man goes to work and at the end of the day his wife calls him telling them they should have sex when he comes home. The man egger to have sex thinks about his expreince at home. He then rememeberes that his doctor told him to masterbate before sex so he stops his truck on the side of the high way beside a cliff. Goes under his truck and starts to masterbate with his eyes closed. After 4 minutes a cop stops by and says is everything all right. The man who was close to orgasam keeped his eyes closed. The cops aksed is eveything allright and the man replys yes just checkiing if my everything is alright I felt the car going bad. The man says oh but your car just fell of the cliff 4 minutes ago.
Quote from: phatyo on February 10, 2008, 02:04:07 PM
A man goes to his doctor and tells him when he has sex with his wife it only last 2 minutes. His doctor told him to masturbate each time before sex. The very next day the man goes to work and at the end of the day his wife calls him telling them they should have sex when he comes home. The man egger to have sex thinks about his expreince at home. He then rememeberes that his doctor told him to masterbate before sex so he stops his truck on the side of the high way beside a cliff. Goes under his truck and starts to masterbate with his eyes closed. After 4 minutes a cop stops by and says is everything all right. The man who was close to orgasam keeped his eyes closed. The cops aksed is eveything allright and the man replys yes just checkiing if my everything is alright I felt the car going bad. The man says oh but your car just fell of the cliff 4 minutes ago.
huh
Quote from: phatyo on February 10, 2008, 02:04:07 PM
A man goes to his doctor and tells him when he has sex with his wife it only last 2 minutes. His doctor told him to masturbate each time before sex. The very next day the man goes to work and at the end of the day his wife calls him telling them they should have sex when he comes home. The man egger to have sex thinks about his expreince at home. He then rememeberes that his doctor told him to masterbate before sex so he stops his truck on the side of the high way beside a cliff. Goes under his truck and starts to masterbate with his eyes closed. After 4 minutes a cop stops by and says is everything all right. The man who was close to orgasam keeped his eyes closed. The cops aksed is eveything allright and the man replys yes just checkiing if my everything is alright I felt the car going bad. The man says oh but your car just fell of the cliff 4 minutes ago.
Why did he go under the truck in the first place?
Quote from: Java_Java on February 10, 2008, 05:22:32 PM
Quote from: phatyo on February 10, 2008, 02:04:07 PM
A man goes to his doctor and tells him when he has sex with his wife it only last 2 minutes. His doctor told him to masturbate each time before sex. The very next day the man goes to work and at the end of the day his wife calls him telling them they should have sex when he comes home. The man egger to have sex thinks about his expreince at home. He then rememeberes that his doctor told him to masterbate before sex so he stops his truck on the side of the high way beside a cliff. Goes under his truck and starts to masterbate with his eyes closed. After 4 minutes a cop stops by and says is everything all right. The man who was close to orgasam keeped his eyes closed. The cops aksed is eveything allright and the man replys yes just checkiing if my everything is alright I felt the car going bad. The man says oh but your car just fell of the cliff 4 minutes ago.
Why did he go under the truck in the first place?
so he could use the excuse that he was checking the truck.
Quote from: phatyo on February 10, 2008, 02:04:07 PM
A man goes to his doctor and tells him when he has sex with his wife it only last 2 minutes. His doctor told him to masturbate each time before sex. The very next day the man goes to work and at the end of the day his wife calls him telling them they should have sex when he comes home. The man egger to have sex thinks about his expreince at home. He then rememeberes that his doctor told him to masterbate before sex so he stops his truck on the side of the high way beside a cliff. Goes under his truck and starts to masterbate with his eyes closed. After 4 minutes a cop stops by and says is everything all right. The man who was close to orgasam keeped his eyes closed. The cops aksed is eveything allright and the man replys yes just checkiing if my everything is alright I felt the car going bad. The man says oh but your car just fell of the cliff 4 minutes ago.
Too convoluted to be funny.