There was a guy name Silverhawk. He created an awkward thread.
This other game named PY came along and saved Silver from lifelong torment by doing the sensible thing and locking the thread. But then he changed his mind and decided to edit Silver's post instead because it'd be funnier.
Silver wants you to post jokes so that PY won't overthrow the thread in a coup. PY wants you to torment Silver instead. You may only do one of these things. Choose wisely.
We can't do both? :(
I got one:
"A baby harp seal walks into a club."
Say wut.
Ahem:
"When life seems poopty, just remember you could be a siamese twin stuck to your gay brother who has a date tonight and you have only one ass."
/me throws his now-useless Pentium 4 heatsink at Silver
Silverhawk is my new b/f.
IN THE KITCHEN! BETCH! :robotangry:
So, I found Silver today. Then I smelted it.
Quote from: Silverhawk79 on January 27, 2009, 10:54:34 PM
Silver wants you to post jokes. PY wants you to torment Silver. You may only do one of these things. Choose wisely.
I believe I just did both.
Quote from: StarWindWizard7 on January 29, 2009, 06:06:25 PM
Silverhawk is my new b/f.
IN THE KITCHEN! BETCH! :robotangry:
But...I don't know how to cook much. ;-;
Ounce upon a time this stupid kid decided to make beacon in the toaster. His experiment was a total success! He then gave the beacon to his friendly niebhorhood bum. His name was Charles Solkini. He was ounce very wealthy but all his money went away one day because they were tired they way he treated them. When Charles turned into a monster. Wait wait, when Charles ate the toaster cooked beacon. He turned into a very big 1 eye beast! He was a monster! Everyone from all around the world would now fear Charles as he takes over the word 1 sqauee mile at a time.
And intercourse s your girlfriends mom lololololololololol
Quote from: phatyo on January 30, 2009, 09:24:55 AM
Ounce upon a time this stupid kid decided to make beacon in the toaster. His experiment was a total success! He then gave the beacon to his friendly niebhorhood bum. His name was Charles Solkini. He was ounce very wealthy but all his money went away one day because they were tired they way he treated them. When Charles turned into a monster. Wait wait, when Charles ate the toaster cooked beacon. He turned into a very big 1 eye beast! He was a monster! Everyone from all around the world would now fear Charles as he takes over the word 1 sqauee mile at a time.
And intercourse s your girlfriends mom lololololololololol
Good to see Phatyo's living up to his rank.
So three nuns die all at the same time. They go to the pearly gates at heaven, and St. Peter says "Alright, in order to get in, you have to each answer one question."
The three nuns reply "That's easy."
St. Peter turns to the first nun and says "What did Jesus turn the water into?"
The first nun replies "Oh, that's an easy one. Wine."
Angels sung Hallelujah out in chorus. The first nun is let through.
St. Peter turns to the second nun and says "What did Eve eat in order to get thrown out of the Garden of Eden?"
The second nun replies "Oh, that's an easy one. The forbidden fruit."
Angels sung Halleluja out in chorus. The second nun is let through.
St. Peter turns to the third nun and says "What did Eve first say to Peter when she was created?"
The third nun, confused, says "Hmmm... that's a hard one."
Angels sung Halleluja out in chorus. The third nun is let through.
Quote from: Silverhawk79 on January 30, 2009, 09:30:45 AM
Quote from: phatyo on January 30, 2009, 09:24:55 AM
Ounce upon a time this stupid kid decided to make beacon in the toaster. His experiment was a total success! He then gave the beacon to his friendly niebhorhood bum. His name was Charles Solkini. He was ounce very wealthy but all his money went away one day because they were tired they way he treated them. When Charles turned into a monster. Wait wait, when Charles ate the toaster cooked beacon. He turned into a very big 1 eye beast! He was a monster! Everyone from all around the world would now fear Charles as he takes over the word 1 sqauee mile at a time.
And intercourse s your girlfriends mom lololololololololol
Good to see Phatyo's living up to his rank.
your suppose to laught, also I guess I might as well live up to my rank becUse even if I do back to normal and not post on serious board I'll still get rebanned, So live it up :D
I have a few
Two peanuts were crossing the road and one was a salted.
I was once dating this mentally challenged girl however I just had to end the relationship, we could not agree on anything. I mean I say tomato and she would say BOWLING SHOES.
A man walks into a bar and see's a jar filled with hundred dollar bills, he looks at the bartender and says how does one win the money? The bar tender says their are 3 challenges, the first involves punching the really muscular bouncer over their. The second involvs going into the back room and pulling out this rapid dogs tooth, the third and final challenge is having sex with the old wrinkled women in the bedroom in the back.
He says umm...one second give me a few beers. After the man gets nice and drunk he says, okay! Ill do your easyyyy challenges. He walks over to the bouncer and punches him as hard as he can, and the bouncer goes down suprisingly. Then he walks into the back room with the dog. The bar tender heres stuff breaking, the dog barking and moans.
The man walks back out and says alright so where is the old women who needed her tooth pulled?
Lol it up. :D
John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons.
"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons
"I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the demons" he shouted
The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"
And then John was a zombie.
Quote from: Jono2 on January 30, 2009, 10:07:00 AM
John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons.
"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons
"I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the demons" he shouted
The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"
And then John was a zombie.
That sounds more like a bad plot twist than a joke.
Quote from: Jono2 on January 30, 2009, 10:07:00 AM
John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons.
"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons
"I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the demons" he shouted
The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"
And then John was a zombie.
Classic copypasta.
A neutron walks in to a bar and asks the bar tender how much for a beer to
which the bartender replies no charge.
Quote from: phatyo on January 30, 2009, 09:24:55 AM
He turned into a very big 1 eye beast!
Stop talking about penii.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Quote from: JNeedForSpeed2014 on January 31, 2009, 09:54:38 PM
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
I thought the internet stopped these jokes.
Quote from: Blaze-San on February 02, 2009, 12:09:00 AM
Quote from: JNeedForSpeed2014 on January 31, 2009, 09:54:38 PM
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
I thought the internet stopped these jokes.
Some people never got the memo.
A man walks into a bar.
Quote from: Sync on February 02, 2009, 09:37:15 AM
A man walks into a bar.
Should have ducked.
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of ninnyes who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of ninnyes who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are mad off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the ninny in the kitchen."
Holocaust survivor dies in a house fire at age 100. No joke, just irony.
Quote from: Allegretto on January 30, 2009, 10:03:00 AM
I have a few
Two peanuts were crossing the road and one was a salted.
I was once dating this mentally challenged girl however I just had to end the relationship, we could not agree on anything. I mean I say tomato and she would say BOWLING SHOES.
A man walks into a bar and see's a jar filled with hundred dollar bills, he looks at the bartender and says how does one win the money? The bar tender says their are 3 challenges, the first involves punching the really muscular bouncer over their. The second involvs going into the back room and pulling out this rapid dogs tooth, the third and final challenge is having sex with the old wrinkled women in the bedroom in the back.
He says umm...one second give me a few beers. After the man gets nice and drunk he says, okay! Ill do your easyyyy challenges. He walks over to the bouncer and punches him as hard as he can, and the bouncer goes down suprisingly. Then he walks into the back room with the dog. The bar tender heres stuff breaking, the dog barking and moans.
The man walks back out and says alright so where is the old women who needed her tooth pulled?
Lol it up. :D
Larry's jokes don't translate into words very well...
At all.
I MADE THIS JOKE UP ALL BY MYSELF.
If you're american when youre not in a hurry, what are you when you ARE in a hurry?
[spoiler]Russian![/spoiler]
Quote from: darkmariov2 on February 02, 2009, 05:16:18 PM
I MADE THIS JOKE UP ALL BY MYSELF.
If you're american when youre not in a hurry, what are you when you ARE in a hurry?
[spoiler]Russian![/spoiler]
Boohiss.
So Silver walks into a bar, and-
Quote from: Allegretto on February 02, 2009, 11:21:27 AM
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of ninnyes who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of ninnyes who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are mad off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the ninny in the kitchen."
I'll admit this made me laugh.
Quote from: Blaze-San on February 03, 2009, 05:17:44 PM
Quote from: Allegretto on February 02, 2009, 11:21:27 AM
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of ninnyes who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of ninnyes who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are mad off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the ninny in the kitchen."
I'll admit this made me laugh.
:3 yey I got blaze san to laugh.
Quote from: Blaze-San on February 03, 2009, 05:17:44 PM
Quote from: Allegretto on February 02, 2009, 11:21:27 AM
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of ninnyes who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of ninnyes who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are mad off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the ninny in the kitchen."
I'll admit this made me laugh.
lol its funnee because the woman didn't stay in the kitchen
"I'm about to lose an electron!"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"
Quote from: Jono2 on February 03, 2009, 05:43:44 PM
Quote from: Blaze-San on February 03, 2009, 05:17:44 PM
Quote from: Allegretto on February 02, 2009, 11:21:27 AM
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b****es who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b****es who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are mad off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the b**** in the kitchen."
I'll admit this made me laugh.
lol its funnee because the woman didn't stay in the kitchen
Better than the joke itself. :D
Quote from: Byte on February 03, 2009, 05:45:24 PM
"I'm about to lose an electron!"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"
Sorry, I've heard that one too many times for it to be funny :(
(http://i466.photobucket.com/albums/rr23/Twitcherling/1233608267723.jpg)