After having spent so much time dealing with poop at work lately and what has seemed like a plethora of poopty customers, I feel that many consumers simply don't know proper shopping etiquette anymore. So without further ado, I present Friendly Hostile's Guide to Being a Proper Customer.
Etiquette Rule #1: Don't Be a Jackass
This really applies to all facets of life and society, but it's one of those things that needs to be beat senselessly into people's heads constantly. Employees are people too, and we deal with a lot of poop from customers, all while still smiling and being pleasant (if a employee is being nasty to you right off, then by all means, be a jackass back, as the employee is breaking this rule). Is it really so much to ask that you be polite or at the very least, human, for the few minutes you must converse with an employee? If it is, look into shopping online.
And seriously, if you're having a bad day, it's not our intercourse ing fault. Do not take out your rage on the poor cashier because some idiot cut you off in traffic or you think your husband is cheating on your skanky ass.
Etiquette Rule #2: We're Here to Help.
For those of you consumers that seem to think the employees are out to get you and ruin your day: We aren't. At all. We're just trying to do our jobs and get by like everyone else. We didn't put your hold back to spite you: it's the store policy. We can't take your return back because it's past the 30 days; not because we don't like you. Which leads to the next rule:
Etiquette Rule #3: Know the Goddarn Return Policy
Most retail outlets follow the "30 Days" policy. Just bring the receipt and the item back within that time frame and something can usually be worked out, so long as you haven't used the item in question (unless it broke shortly after first use). Just realize not every place does this. Ask for christ's sake. If the person you ask doesn't know, they'll find someone who does. Do not throw a fit because you didn't take the time to find out the policy. It exists and is posted on the receipt usually, if not somewhere near the registers. And hold onto that receipt. You're generally viewed as an idiot, a dick or a con artist if you try to return poop without the receipt. Things not to do when returning:
-Bringing back products well after the 30 days. We can't sell this poop. I really don't care if you still have the receipt and tags on that dress you bought from us a decade ago. We can't return it. And yes, I actually had a customer try this.
-Expect cash back for those lucky occasions where you get something back without a receipt. Be gosh darn happy you got anything.
-Expect us to take back things without tickets. Keep the intercourse ing ticket on things. How are we supposed to know it's not something you no longer wanted in your wardrobe. This also means we have to send someone looking to see if we might actually carry it in the store to make a ticket.
-Return food. Seriously. Give it to the dog or something if you don't want it. You should've have thought about that before buying it.
-Switch tickets. We know you didn't pay $49.99 for those socks. We aren't total retards, as much as you'd like us to be.
Additionally, if you're going to make a return, be patient. We're doing you a intercourse ing favor by taking back your poop since you couldn't decide if you really needed that $500 Juicy Couture purse when all you came in for was a new bra. It takes a few moments to process and put away, so don't get upset when you have to wait a little longer.
Etiquette Rule #4: Patience is Key
As pointed out in the last one, expect to wait sometimes. If there's a line of 10 people and all the cashiers are up there ringing, tough it out. Someone will be able to take your money for the overpriced poop you want in a moment, but like everyone else, you will have to wait in line before this can happen. You aren't more important than anyone else. So wait your gosh darn turn and don't get upset over the fact that you have to.
Etiquette Rule #5: Put Shit Back
Seriously. Put the poop you don't want back where it belongs. If you don't, you're an poop hole and I have nothing more to say to you, you lazy son of a ninny.
Etiquette Rule #6: Stores are not Garbage Cans
You'd think people would understand this. Trash goes in trash cans. But apparently, some of you intercourse s out there think leaving your Starbucks half filled coffee mug on the shelves or on the floor or in a rack is the proper way to throw something out. It's not. That's intercourse ing gross and you know it. Find a trash can or ask an employee for one. We are not maids.
Etiquette Rule #7: Children
Additionally, leaving you children in the toy department or playing in the racks is not keeping an eye on your demon spawn. You are a parent and therefore responsible for your kids. We are not babysitters, nor is the Dora the Explorer doll in Aisle 5. Keep those poops in line and don't let them make a mess of the toy aisles.
Etiquette Rule #8: Breaking and Entering
If something has packaging on it, it's there for a reason. This means don't intercourse ing open it. If you want to see something more closely, ask for some intercourse ing help. Don't just rip the plastic off and open it up. And if you absolutely must do this, at least intercourse ing put it back right. If there's a fork sticking out of the box when you set it back down, you probably didn't put everything back right.
Etiquette Rule #9: Clearance and Sales
Unless marked as clearance or on sale, it's not intercourse ing clearanced or on sale. Do not ask us to check. If you find the same thing marked and one that isn't, fine. But just because you found it in clearance does not mean it is clearance. Check the gosh darn tag. And if it's something under $10 bucks, intercourse off. Are you seriously that intercourse ing greedy? You don't have that extra buck to spare on that china set that's already more than half off?
Etiquette Rule #10: Getting the Fuck Out
All stores warn you well in advance before they close. So, when you hear that message that the store is closing in 5 minutes: go to the check out or start moving toward the exit. Do not keep shopping. You're being an ungrateful, self-centered twat by remain in the store after it has closed. You are making it take that much longer before we can clean up and lock up to go home. So GTFO at closing time.
That should cover most of the basics for what you need to know. However I'm sure Star and PY can provide things I've missed.
tl;dr
You're all horrible customers, so intercourse off and stop being idiotic jackasses. So shape up or I'm going to kick your ass.
This thread is win.
And very, very true.
Made my night. I've never worked retail - only tourism jobs and my writing one. But working at an amusement park and museum has tended a lot of the same results.
We don't tell you that you can't go on an attraction because we hate you. We do it for your own safety. We don't get paid minimum wage (in Alberta :B) to clean up your trash. And frankly, my number one rule, if you are in peril of any sorts, don't drag the staff down with you.
But yeah. It's all true regardless of industry. Just in different ways.
Going by common sense, my knowledge of the culinary industry I'm going into, all the poop my mom has told me about her job, and what I see in the store, this is true. I try to be nice and not come off as this evil thing, but darn! Some people are dumb as hell. Do you NOT have the balls to tell your god darn kids to stop running up and down the aisle, stop knocking stuff over, and stfu? ... There's more to rant on but meh, I'm sleepy.
Etiquette Rule #6: Stores are not Garbage Cans
You'd think people would understand this. Trash goes in trash cans. But apparently, some of you intercourse s out there think leaving your Starbucks half filled coffee mug on the shelves or on the floor or in a rack is the proper way to throw something out. It's not. That's intercourse ing gross and you know it. Find a trash can or ask an employee for one. We are not maid
I bet the people who are leaving trash around are also the ones who complain about trash being left out
Etiquette Rule #10: Getting the Fuck Out
All stores warn you well in advance before they close. So, when you hear that message that the store is closing in 5 minutes: go to the check out or start moving toward the exit. Do not keep shopping. You're being an ungrateful, self-centered twat by remain in the store after it has closed. You are making it take that much longer before we can clean up and lock up to go home. So GTFO at closing time.
He is a quote from a customer I once had "I know I'm keeping you here late but you don't have to rush me, that's very rude"
Ah, but do you follow all those all the time?
But yeah, that is good advice.
QuoteEtiquette Rule #5: Put Shit Back
Seriously. Put the poop you don't want back where it belongs. If you don't, you're an poop hole and I have nothing more to say to you, you lazy son of a ninny.
:(
Otherwise, I follow all the rest of those rules.
Well, I actually read all of that, and I realized I do some of that. I shall stop :(
Also, this is front page worthy, if we still had the front page.
Quote from: LiveOnTheEdge on June 24, 2009, 09:24:15 AM
Ah, but do you follow all those all the time?
But yeah, that is good advice.
Actually yes I do. I yell at my friends and family for breaking #5 all the time.
Yeah the thing is the people working at the stores have to listen to the customer because they're "always right". I'm not like this I know what they go thru but the employees have to check up that item and have to check if stuff is on sale for the customer. That's just how it is.
I don't like the outside world or people. So I shop online. <3
Quote from: Mutilator on June 24, 2009, 01:09:59 PM
Yeah the thing is the people working at the stores have to listen to the customer because they're "always right". I'm not like this I know what they go thru but the employees have to check up that item and have to check if stuff is on sale for the customer. That's just how it is.
No no no. See this is the biggest mistake the consumer makes. Which brings us to:
Consumer Etiquette Rule #11: The Customer is NOT Always Right
Actually, most of the time the customer is incredibly in the wrong. Because lets face it, consumers are intercourse ing retarded. If they were smart, they wouldn't waste their money on half this poop or would just shop online, as you can usually find things cheapest there. Often times, common sense will be able to provide you with the answer you seek. Is this clearanced? Well, common sense would say, if the item in question is marked clearance, then yes it is. Otherwise, no. So wasting time asking will not change this. Whining that you found it with the other clearance poop doesn't matter. Unless it's marked, it isn't intercourse ing clearance. Plain and simple.
Just because you think you're right doesn't mean you are. If that was how the world worked, this would be an even scary, more intercourse ed up planet than it already is. This aso leads into our next rule:
Etiquette Rule #12: We aren't Experts and Neither are You
So many shoppers seem to think that, because we work in retail, we are instantly experts on any and all products we sell. Give me a intercourse ing break. Most retail employees are high school students or recent graduates. We know intercourse all about most of the poop we sell. We usually know just about as much as you do. There are those of us who have worked in retail long enough to learn about some of what we sell. But otherwise, don't assume we know much about the products, unless it's a location that would specifically train it's employees on the product (generally things like jewelry).
Heh, my mom breaks lots of these and it annoys me when she does. She's the kind that tries to bother others to her own advantage whenever she can, though. I wouldn't do any of these myself.
Etiquette Rule #1: Don't Be a Jackass
Her rule: Keep whining, and eventually you'll win and get what you want. It surprisingly works pretty often. D:
Etiquette Rule #3: Know the Goddarn Return Policy
I've had a used game I wanted her to return 3 days after she bought it for me, but instead she waits until 6 months later to walk into the store (Gamestop) expecting to trade it in then for another copy of the same game.
Etiquette Rule #5: Put Shit Back
"It's fine to leave this shirt in the changing room. After all, it's their job to put these things back"
Etiquette Rule #10: Getting the Fuck Out
Her rule: Closing times? More like the time one should make sure to get in the building by.
About rule #10
We had just gotten out from a restaurant and my brother had to grab some frozen mice from the Petco across the street, and when we got in there they told us as we were walking in that they were closing in like 3 min. Does going in a picking up a few mice for a hungry snake and taking like one minute away from you guys from getting home breaking that rule?
I don't break any of those ^_^
Quote from: Ryu on June 25, 2009, 04:20:03 PM
About rule #10
We had just gotten out from a restaurant and my brother had to grab some frozen mice from the Petco across the street, and when we got in there they told us as we were walking in that they were closing in like 3 min. Does going in a picking up a few mice for a hungry snake and taking like one minute away from you guys from getting home breaking that rule?
If you're quick about it and make note that you're trying to be quick it's usually fine. It's the people that come into a store at closing time and shop for 20-30 minutes that need to be banned from stores, aka Bluaki's mother.
Bluaki, I'd just like to let your mother know that she's a total ninny. Be sure to send her to a poopty home.
Hostile, you forgot Rule 13.
No texting or talking on cell phones when you're being rung out.
Although I suppose that it sort of fits in Rule 1.
Quote from: PsychoYoshi on June 25, 2009, 08:40:04 PM
Hostile, you forgot Rule 13.
No texting or talking on cell phones when you're being rung out.
Although I suppose that it sort of fits in Rule 1.
or eating
also people on foodstamps/WIC you are getting your food basically for free you have no right to complain about the price of food
Quote from: PsychoYoshi on June 25, 2009, 08:40:04 PM
Hostile, you forgot Rule 13.
No texting or talking on cell phones when you're being rung out.
Although I suppose that it sort of fits in Rule 1.
I knew I forgot one. I'll have to add it in later.
I been in retail a little over 4 1/2 years. It'll be my complete 5th year on September 14th.
I been at the same job for years...and I'm finally a manager.
So not only do I deal with customers, but I deal with Babysitting my employees. (which in itself should be another thread).
How F_H feels is exactly how most of my Cashiers feel.
Me being every position at my job (except working in Team sports and tread mills and weight lifting, bleck!) I for one go through everything F_H listed.
Not sure it's listed, but what really gets me is those customers who steal.
Whats horrible about it, is that we can't do anything about it.
A customer can walk in, take a pair of Aesics shoes and walk right on out. We can't tackled them or anything. By the time we call the police and stuff, the guy is long gone.
Anyway, I'll reply to every rule and add my own 2 cents
(believe it or not, I wanted to post all of this when F_H made this thread but I lost all train of thought and gave up) lol
Etiquette Rule #1: Don't Be a Jackass
Most of the customers that come into my store aren't Jackasses. They usually know what they want and go for it.
The only jackasses "we" face are older people, especially the Old grandpa ones. So cranky...... They have a tendency of slamming/throwing the clothes or their money at the cashier, especially if they are not satisfied with what they have.
Etiquette Rule #2: We're Here to Help.
Oh, yes we are... after all our customers "pay our bills" in retail that is. It's an outspoken law of common sense. If it's not for customers we won't even have a job. - and I need my job.
But the thing is, if you come to "US" with a good attitude chances are we will return the same attitude but twice as much, there for making your shopping experience all the better.
OR if we come at you very friendly and you respond back, the the experience is all the better still. - And it wouldn't hurt if you called our Corporate office and tell them how good your experience was there and how wonderful Customer Service was to ya! You help us, we will help you and vice versa.
Etiquette Rule #3: Know the gosh darn Return Policy
INDEED. As F_H stated, our return policy is everywhere in our store and on the receipt. 90 day return policy with reciept, 30 day return policy on SHOES.
If you don't have your receipt you'll get a store credit of the lowest marked down price of said item.
Which means that if you paid for an item that $59.99 and you return it with out your reciect... AND if it rings up $19.99... SOL!! ha ha! And don't get upset at us about it either, We aren't that irresponsible. (and I know I spelled reciept wrong).
Oh, and if you DARE think your gonna return a pair of shoes that you Worn OUT you is MOFO'en Crazy.
Return policy on shoes: You have to have the original Box, can't be worn and it must be returned within 30 days.
You want to return shoes after you worn them out simply because they hurt you after you ran in them......... Uhhhhhhhh....... yeah..... Your keeping them. >:(
Etiquette Rule #4: Patience is Key
Hate to brag, but I'm the fastest Cashier at my job, so people usually leave at a very good rate. But for my slower cashiers... lol even I lose patience in them.....
The only time customers need to be patient is during returns.
Our return procedure is annoying and highly tedious. And if you don't have your reciet the time is even longer.
Etiquette Rule #5: Put s*** Back
Looking over footwear And apparel, I couldn't of said this better myself.
If you try on 50 billion shoes, just don't leave them on a pile on the floor for us to pick up after you, you Heathen. I mean, haven't your parents taught you better. If you were working in retail and had to constantly pick up after people how would you feel? I could only imagine how your house is. If you have a question on where to put stuff, we are MORE then willing to put it back for you. Don't take a shirt, look at it, and then throw it on a (4 way a.k.a. rack) and toss the hanger on the floor. And most importantly..... DON'T LIVE YOUR CRAP IN OUR FITTING ROOMS! Give them back to the Cashier! Just going in a fitting room and picking up a laundry load of clothing thats Stuffed in a corner or underneath the bench is just ridiculous and lazy as heck. We do have a signe that says to give it to the Cashier.
Hope the lamp lite in our fitting rooms burs you while your getting undressed. >_>
Etiquette Rule #7: Children
LOL at the children that mess around with the tread mills or try to pick up 50 pound hexagon dumbbells! :D
If your child gets hurt, don't blame us! *points to signe protecting us*. You parents are responsible for your children, not us. If you can't handle them, leave them in the car with the windows down.
I like telling kids not to mess around with the Equipment, they get scared and run away. ha ha ha ha
Etiquette Rule #8: Breaking and Entering
Good thing most of our stuff is already out. :robotindifferent:
Etiquette Rule #9: Clearance and Sales
Our clearance items have a yellow sticker...and a 97 cent ending. Like 99.97 or 43.97, or 1.97.
*points* If you see a Big signe above a bunch of clothes that says Clearance.......chances are they are clearance, So stop asking!
NOT a racist....... but where I work, Mexicans have a great tendency on asking this question........... OR whats the price on an item.
Mexican:"Whats the price on these shoes?" .......
*I look at item*
"It says 59.97."
Mexican: "oooooooo.... so how much is it"
((( :| )))
Or in any case, the price is as marked as the signe says.
I know they have a hard time speaking our language but Numbers are still the SAME.
Etiquette Rule #10: Getting the f*** Out
LOL! When I 1st became a manager, and my store was about to close, I always made an annoucment saying that the store is about to close.... People would usually leave, but then some would stay....... and I'm like........ "uhhhhhhhhhh, you need to check our, our registers are about to close on you ... :| ". Either they get mad and leave with out buying anything, or they hurry up and check out.
But what REALLY gets me angry are those who walk in the store 10-5 minutes before we close, and they KNOW we are about to close. I will turn that store music off.... that should be your 1st signe. Darn teenagers.
But, as a manager I was told that even if I have 1 customer in the store, not to close.- which is fine. Not my fault the store will lose Pay Roll.
However, if I have one person in the store and it's after store hours, nobody is getting in.
And don't come to the door saying "are you guys open"?
...
Our OPEN Signe is turned "OFF", so NO we aren't open!
WE Also have our store hours on the Door so you can read what your question is.
Ugh!
Now to add some rules.
Etiquette Rule #11: We have Name Tags.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Don't you EVEN DARE try to Whistle at me so you can get My attention! Or worst.. CLAP ! You want me from across the store you either come get me or say "Excuse me".
I am not an animal let alone Your Dog.
You whistle at me I'll just ignore you...and probably walk away.
You can't speak English, come get me or an associate.
Etiquette Rule #12: We don't have ONLINE Items!
If you look online for something, fine...but don't call the store.
1 reasons.
1. ONLINE has over 10 times as much stock then any store in the country.
Hate those calls from people who say,
Customer: "Do you carry ___ in stock? I can give you the item number".
Me: "No sir, we don't carry online items in our store".
Customer: "but it's on your website".
Me: "See at the bottom of the web page it says stores don't carry online merchandise?"
Customer: "Oh, I see it...well can you still check for me?"
Me: *7 second pause*, "Hold on..." .... (5 seconds later) "No, we don't have that item"
Customer: *Click*
Me: *Slams phone down* :robotangry: !!
Etiquette Rule #13: STOP Calling our store and asking us where we are located!
Our store has been in the same sport since the Mid 70's!
(I know old, right? >_> )
If you don't know where it by now, get a clue.
And if we do tell you where it is exactly, don't ask us for direction if your coming from Texas... are you kidding me? :-\
*face palms*
Until I think of more rants, this is all I have for now.....
F_H make a thread about co workers next. :P
*looks @ post*
Jeez, I think I typed too much.
-_-