Funny jokes from Comedy central!

[Wolfpika]

I was watching Comedy Central the other day and all the comedians there were hilarious! But now three of their jokes are stuck in my head! I need something else to occupy it.

Beat these jokes!

Wanda Sykes,

"When people say 'I do' in marriage, until death do you part, it's kinda funny because divorce rates are skyhigh now. So when people are looking you dead in the eye and saying, 'I do', they are just lying their a**es off! They say marriage is a contract, marriage is not a contract! Contracts have warentees, so the customers can take the product back. 'I'm not letting my son in my house!' 'Yeah but, he's broke.."

[Wolfpika]

Another funny joke,

"You know why I like Utah, because nobody swears there, they use replacement words... You know, haven't you seen a movie where all the guys are tough, and the movie shouldn't be on there cause everybody was swearing on there, so they have the tough guys going around and saying, 'What the fruit is going on here?!' 'I'm going to whoop your balony with a pinneaple sundae, butterscotch!'.....These people don't sound tough, they sound HUNGRY! When my mom saw kids running around, she would always go up to them and say, 'Have a piece a pie, have a piece of pie..' Apparently, my mom sounded a lot like Adam Sandler. Adam is awesome, because he can sing a song, it won't make sense, and people pay him big G's just for singing those, like.

A song for you,
A song for you,
I wrote a song for
you in a canoooooooooooe...

This man is brilliant! Here's 20,000 dollars!

Why thank you, would you like to have a piece a pie?"

[Mystic]

Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence.

[yes.derek]

^{That was so unfunny I think I contracted herpes.}

[Mystic]

^{That was so unfunny I think I contracted herpes.}

I didn't say it was funny :-\

[yes.derek]

^{That was so unfunny I think I contracted herpes.}

I didn't say it was funny :-\

^{Yours was funny, the other guy's wasn't.}

[Mystic]

^{That was so unfunny I think I contracted herpes.}

I didn't say it was funny :-\

^{Yours was funny, the other guy's wasn't.}

I don't get his jokes :(

[Wolfpika]

their not mine, their from comendy central!

[Kaz]

Hi, welcome to Comedy Central.

Those acts are ages old and not all that funny.

[JMV]

omg i saw the mind of mencia and he said beaner and it was hilariosu

[yes.derek]

omg i saw the mind of mencia and he said beaner and it was hilariosu

^{DE DE DEEEE}

[Seanguy]

what funny jokes?

[mecha_fang]

omg i saw the mind of mencia and he said beaner and it was hilariosu

^{DE DE DEEEE}

None of you should marry a dee.

[AFL_ITALIA]

omg i saw the mind of mencia and he said beaner and it was hilariosu

^{DE DE DEEEE}

LIEK DIS?

[yes.derek]

omg i saw the mind of mencia and he said beaner and it was hilariosu

^{DE DE DEEEE}

LIEK DIS?

^{you got it dood}