MANLINESS

SkyMyl · December 17, 2009, 03:46:42 PM

THIS THREAD IS NOW THE MANLIEST PAGE IN THE INTERNET.

THIS PAGE HAS SO MUCH TESTOSTERONE IN IT THAT WOMEN WILL GET PREGNANT IF THEY SO MUCH AS LOOK AT THIS PAGE! IF YOU'RE A HOMOSEXUAL, YOU WILL BE TRANSFORMED INTO A PREGNANT WOMAN, WHO WILL THEN BE PUNCHED IN THE STOMACH AS PUNISHMENT FOR NOT LIVING UP TO THE MANLY STANDARDS SET BY THE DOMINANT RACE KNOWN ONLY AS MAN! IF YOU'RE A LITTLE BOY, YOU WILL INSTANTLY BE TRANSFORMED INTO A MAN WITH SO MUCH HAIR THAT GORILLAS WILL COMMIT SUICIDE AT THE MERE PRESENCE OF YOUR MANLY HAIR! HAIR EVERYWHERE, HAIR ON YOUR ARMS, HAIR ON YOUR LEGS, HAIR ON YOUR FINGERNAILS, AND EVEN HAIR ON YOUR HAIR!!!

ANY PUPPIES OR KITTENS WILL BE TRANSFORMED INTO FIERCE BATTLE ANIMALS THAT ARE FIFTY FEET TALL, AND COVERED IN CHAINSAWS, WHILE TURTLES AND SNAKES WILL BE TRANSFORMED INTO REPTILIAN MONSTERS SO BADASS, THAT SINKHOLES FORM ON THEIR FOOTPRINTS! WHAT'S THAT? SNAKES DON'T HAVE FOOTPRINTS!? THAT'S JUST HOW BADASS THEY ARE, AFTER BEING AFFECTED BY YOUR MANLINESS!

BEVERAGES WILL BE FILLED WITH SEVEN DIFFERENT KINDS OF SUGAR, AND TASTE LIKE BLOOD ONCE IT ENTERS YOUR MOUTH! ANY NON-MEN WILL EXPLODE UPON DRINKING SUCH AN ELIXIR OF MANLINESS! IF EXPOSED TO THIS ELIXIR, BABIES WILL DEGENERATE INTO A PUDDLE OF ACID!

YOUR MANLY ABILITIES WILL INCLUDE MAKING INANIMATE OBJECTS EXPLODE, MAKING LIVING BEINGS EXPLODE, BEING ABLE TO HAVE SEX WITH A LAWNMOWER IN A TRACTOR TRAILER CURRENTLY BEING ATTACKED BY A TORNADO, KARATE CHOPPING WALLS DOWN WITH MINIMAL EFFORT, BEING ABLE TO KNOCK DOWN A SKYSCRAPER BY TOUCHING IT, AND PLANTING YOUR SEEDS IN THE SOIL KNOWN AS WOMAN VIA EYE CONTACT!!!

YOU WILL ALSO BE ABLE TO TURN LIVING ANIMALS INTO FULLY COOKED MEALS BY BREATHING ON THEM, AFTER WHICH THEY WILL EXPLODE, AND UPON EXPLODING ANY NEARBY ANIMALS WILL ALSO EXPLODE IN THE PRESENCE OF SUCH A MANLY DEATH, THEREBY CAUSING A CHAIN REACTION UNTIL EVERY ANIMAL IS FULLY COOKED MEAT! IN THE SAME VEIN, IF THERE ARE ANY VEGETARIANS NEXT TO YOU THEY WILL SUDDENLY CRAVE MEAT, AND LOTS OF IT UNTIL THEY TURN INTO A GIANT TOWER OF MEAT!!!

YOU WILL BE SO MANLY THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE YOUR BITCH, INCLUDING OXYGEN, GRAVITY, AND WATER! EVERY BODY OF WATER WILL NOW HARBOR AN UNDERWATER KINGDOM BUILT BY UNDERWATER CREATURES TO WORSHIP YOUR GODLINESS AMONG LIVING CREATURES, THE LIKES OF WHICH ARE UNABLE TO COMPREHEND SUCH MANLINESS!

YOU WILL BE SO MANLY THAT THE PRESIDENT WILL HAVE A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST YOU, BECAUSE YOU ARE A THREAT TO THE PRESIDENT'S HEALTH, AND THEREFORE A THREAT AGAINST NATIONAL SECURITY!

WHAT'S THAT!? NOTHING I SAY SOUNDS FAIR, REASONABLE, OR COMPREHENSIBLE!? I'M NOT MAKING ANY SENSE? SENSE IS FOR PUSSIES, AND IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MY LOGIC, THEN YOU ARE A PUSSY, AND THEREFORE UNABLE TO BECOME A MANLY MAN. NOW GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH, BITCH.

ARE YOU A MAN ENOUGH MAN? ARE YOU!?
In case you couldn't tell, he was bored when he made this. Really bored.

Silverhawk79 · December 17, 2009, 03:58:53 PM

FUCK I JUST WANT TO CRACK OPEN A BEAR NOW

SkyMyl · December 17, 2009, 04:02:59 PM

HOW ABOUT A BEARSHARKTOPUS!?

Qsmash · December 17, 2009, 04:06:03 PM

FUCK YEAH BEARDS

L10 · December 17, 2009, 04:16:40 PM

OH GOD YES! THREAD OF THE SEASON!

XD

With material like this you would fit in just fine at my lunch table lol

Kayo · December 17, 2009, 04:18:19 PM

OMG GUYS I THINK MY BALLS JUST DROPPED A LITTLE LOWER

FUCK YEAH 8)

waitwut

Silverhawk79 · December 17, 2009, 04:20:53 PM

Quote from: SkyMyl on December 17, 2009, 04:02:59 PM
HOW ABOUT A BEARSHARKTOPUS!?

I THINK MY BALLS JUST DROPPED AGAIN.
THEY'RE BASEBALL SIZED NOW.

Lotos · December 17, 2009, 04:21:50 PM

Quote from: SkyMyl on December 17, 2009, 04:02:59 PM
HOW ABOUT A BEARSHARKTOPUS!?
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I was going to save that, but then saw what site it came from :|

SkyMyl · December 17, 2009, 04:52:33 PM

Quote from: Lotos on December 17, 2009, 04:21:50 PM
I was going to save that, but then saw what site it came from :|

YOU PUSSY, YOU DIDN'T TYPE IN ALL CAPS NOR SAY SOMETHING MANLY!
He scoured 8th Circuit to find it. Wasn't that hard, actually.

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU ARE NOW A WOMAN.

Triforceman22 · December 17, 2009, 04:55:27 PM

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANERGY

Matt · December 17, 2009, 05:04:29 PM

TL;DR

Lotos · December 17, 2009, 06:04:41 PM

Quote from: SkyMyl on December 17, 2009, 04:52:33 PM
YOU PUSSY, YOU DIDN'T TYPE IN ALL CAPS NOR SAY SOMETHING MANLY!
He scoured 8th Circuit to find it. Wasn't that hard, actually.

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU ARE NOW A WOMAN.

Then I will now stand in front of the mirror and masturbate to myself.

Mystic · December 17, 2009, 06:05:22 PM

yo dawg i herd you like hair so we put hair on your hair so you can shave while you shave

The Seventh · December 17, 2009, 06:22:36 PM

POWERTHIRST! THIS THREAD MADE YOU MANLY ENOUGH ALREADY, NOW THIS'LL MAKE YOU EVEN MANLIER!

TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL, BITCHES!

Mystic · December 17, 2009, 06:34:34 PM

I <3 the Powerthirst videos.